FIF: Like Bacon, A Lil Frontin' Goes A Long Way

Because, Katy.

Because, she sounds a little "Stevie" here, right?

Happy Friday, Kidlets. 

If you're reading this, you've made it. That's all we asked of each other this week, right? I know I set out to just survive the week, making one package of bacon last 'til Thursday for dinners (bacon sandwiches, pasta carbonara, etc.) and we did it folks. You, me and bacon. We did it.

I'm too tired to front my usual professionalism at work, so I spent the first 30 minutes sitting in a friend's office sharing cookies and tales of social anxiety. I'm listening to Katy Perry. My hair's curly. It's really real, guys.

I like to keep up appearances at the office. I work with mostly conservative men who have technical degrees while I'm a liberal lady (ha!) with a liberal arts degree. Basically, a f'ing uphill battle. 

In place of puppy calendars I hang my targets from the shooting range. In place of telling them I listen to KP, I say it's all NPR AllTheTime (which isn't a lie, but they think it's too Left anyway). In place of white wine I drink beer or scotch or ... whatever they're drinking! 

Fitting in isn't about losing myself, it's about getting ahead. And I think I've done well. 

In my review my boss told me he can never tell what I'm thinking (excellent) and that my generation is so serious (well, at least I am) and that I blew his mind when I compared my Recession Generation to the Depression Generation (imagery, fools!). 

On Wednesday I wore a skirt, but I spoke clearly and with authority during my presentation. A 'la "I'm a lady, but I can play this game!"

But guys, bacon time is over.

I am getting back to me. 

And next week, I'm getting back to my roots with my family and some lovey dogs. 

How was your week? Have you ever tried to fit in to get ahead? 

Tigers on a Gold Chain

Stephen Fry Hates Florida, Q & A

I saw this quiz on a girl's blog. Since this is "Answer The Unasked" I'm going to answer questions that weren't asked of me.

The blogger of origin is an entertaining writer but we have 0% in common:

She's single and always minglin'; I am married and always looking for ways to do less socially.
She's lite beer and fireball shots; I'm craft beer and go to bed before 10 (fireball shots must happen after 10, because I don't see them).
She's from Florida; I'm a yankee who thinks Florida is a swamp-dungeon-o-trailer-doom.

Recognize this awesome dude from Top Gear? He toured America and speaks my mind, people! The whole series is on Netflix! Go watch instead of reading this boring post!

So some of these either/or questions will be lost on me.  Let's see how out of touch I am!


iPhone or Droid: I have an iPhone but am intrigued by the Windows phone. My Mr. is super techy and thinks the iPhone is on it's way out. I think he may be right. But I'm legally required to stand beside him in his defection.

NSYNC or Backstreet Boys: Man, lady, guitar, bass, cello... triangle. That's music. A bunch of boys with headsets and no instruments? That's - at best - a talent show.

Being forced to delete Facebook or being forced to delete Twitter: Facebook. If my Grandmother wasn't on FB and I needed it for work, it'd be gone. I could live without both, however.

Fireball or Miller Lite: Nothing lower on the menu than a Red Stripe. It's like a right of passage. Call me pretentious, but I think you grow up, get a 401k, upwardlly change jobs a few times and write off domestic beer that indicates calorie/color/body with the letter L-I-T-E. Bing, bang, boom.

Full House or Family Matters: Family Matters. Its the least of the two evils as I can't handle looking at Danny Tanner now that I've seen his stand-up and if I hear "how rude" one more time...

Dumbledore or Gandalf: Dumbledore 1.0., because Richard Harris is the sh!t.

Dying Easter eggs or Carving pumpkins: I did both of these handicraps a few years ago for the last time. I'm an all-season Grinch when it comes to crafting. I'll gladly drink spiked cider at your fall carving party or a mimosa at your egg party and fumble my way through poking holes in everything. Because, tis the season.

NFL or NCAAF: NPR*

A hangover forever or sobriety forever: The latter. I actually think about this all the time.

January or July: July, because I live Canada-adjacent and January is just the beginning of seasonal depression and 'the-city-doesn't-have-enough-money-in-the-budget-to-properly-plow-the-roads-so-go-get-yourself-some-four-wheel-drive, Chicago'!

Hannah Montana or Miley Cyrus: I can't hear you through this foam finger.

Shark Week or Fashion Week: Both. Yay! Something I don't hate! Although I don't follow either of them, so maybe that's why I like them.

Fresh Prince of Bel-Air or Saved by the Bell: Fresh Prince. Geeze. Maybe my choice of 90's TV shows is indicative of me listening to too much NPR.**

Britney or Christina: Christina. I think she got her life back on track quicker and that shows maturity. I also thought she was way more talented. But no, I'd never buy either of their music.

Burrito or Burrito Bowl: Bowl. Cause forks are for people who care about the shirt they're wearing.

Reading blogs on your phone or reading blogs on your computer:  Computer.

Angelina or Jennifer: Team Everyone Get a Grip On Their Own Lives And Butt Out Already.

Doug Funny or The Rugrats: Thank God I didn't have cable growing up.

An open mouth chewer or a heavy breather: I've been told I'm the latter, so I chose that. I've tried to will people to chew with their mouths closed before by staring at them without blinking. It just makes it worse because they start talking with their mouths full to ask me why I'm staring.


Now you!

--
*I'm an asshole. I see this now.
** Have you heard of their program called Code Switch? It's all about race in America. Maybe my White Guilt is picking the programming.

Stay Hip

You can go ahead and flip-it-Friday give me some advice. I have nothing to ask you about, so use your creative, free-form heads.

Happy Friday, Kidlets.

Flip-It Friday: What Are You Listening to Lately?

I've had a very social week. My emotional heart thanks me, but my physical liver doesn't.

Why did we get into the gin last night!?

Hope everyone had a good 4th. We had a picnic with friends and then some rooftop time for the fireworks.

This morning I took the train to work as the Mr. had some errands to run with the car. I miss riding the train. I have to walk over a mile total in the morning when I take the train so I have plenty of time to think. Today was a wonderful morning with sunshine and high 60's temps. I thought of many things, wrote poems in my head and sang songs. Here's what my internal playlist is today.

Katy Perry - Firework

For obvious, holiday reasons.

Amos Lee - Sweet Pea

Awesome strollin' music.

Ellie Goulding - Anything Could Happen

Who knows why I like this song.

Kacey Musgraves - Merry Go Round

Because I was reminiscing about childhood in a small town. I didn't have the life she describes. And I'm not looking down my nose at people in a small towns, I think people can make the wrong decisions for the wrong reasons in any location.

What are you listening to?

Flip-It Friday: Prayers

Hello friends.

What a whirlwind day/week/month, huh?

I've mentioned that work has been sorta stormy for me. Exhilarating, full of potential and scary.

The Mr. and I had lunch with this friend (who is hilarious!) while he's in town giving a Ted Talk. Go Sam! Lunch was a nice diversion from the current stress of this job. I love this job, but its pretty wearing sometimes.

For instance, my boss is really sick right now. He's undergoing radiation treatment for aggressive cancer. Because of a former illness, he can't get chemotherapy and has to soley rely on the radiation. His last week of radiation is next week. If it doesn't work, he has no other options.

If you believe in thoughts and prayers, would you spare some?

What are you sending up into the clouds this week? Let's spread the burden around and share the load, people!

And now to lighten it up, here are some rhymes about Fig Newtons!

And here's Sam!

Flip-It Friday: (up)Date Me!

Five things from me:

1) I changed the look and title of my blog a bit. I am looking to simplify. Here, at home, in my mind. I am vowing not to bring anything else into my home that isn't completely necessary and well thought-out. (Those pillows I was going to recover? gone. Those pants that I never wear? gone. Those abstract art pieces that I was going to paint? Fu-get-uh-bout-it.)

Source: 24.media.tumblr.com viaKari on Pinterest

2) We are going to see Macklemore this weekend at Purdue, my alma mater. My brother and I (whadup, Greg!) are attending the concert. The Mr. is just hanging with friends in Lafayette. I'm missing my Roo-dog already.

Source: pharosbones.tumblr.com viaMorgan on Pinterest

3) We have a relative staying with us while she gets on her feet in the big city*. We knew it was going to have stressful moments. I don't think I'm surprised, but I am not taking the stress well**. The Mr. and I are both pretty uptight people and have a hard time with disorder. We look each other in the eyes and say, "Where are your Patience Pants?".

4) Some big projects at work have been taken out of my hands. I am relieved to not be held accountable for them anymore, but saddened that I won't carry the baton over the finish line.

5) Not surprisingly, I've been thinking about how women work together (or not) lately. A woman at work is leaving and I'm sad to see her go. I have found out that there is some underlying cattiness among some of the women. I often wonder if they talk about me behind my back the way they talk about others to me. I also have realized that I am somehow a part of a clique that might encourage the cattiness. (I wasn't in the "in" crowd growing up, so this is a weird situation for me. Be kind, people!)

Source: all-things-bright-and-beyootiful.tumblr.com viaAlice on Pinterest

Geese make sense here, right?

This probably makes more sense.

For the flip-it part, share some things with me? Or respond to my five things?

* Unrelated to point 2, promise.
** Does anyone handle stress well?

Killermann

My fellow POA-er, Sam Killermann, (and my Mentee, but there's no way I "mentored" anything in him... He did just fine in spite of knowing me!) wrote and performs a follow up to Macklemore's Same Love.

My bro and I are going to see Macklemore at PU in March. I'm so excited. I haven't been this impressed by a rapper in a while... since Kid Cudi, actually. And Mack (can I call you Mack?) is 100x more respectable than Kid. Using his talent and reach for good. Mmmhmm. That's the stuff. 

Here's Macklemore's original:

Oh We Got Trouble With (a) Capital Confusion

Trying not to lose my head but I have never been this scared before
Tell you what I'll do instead, lay my body down on the floor
To forget what I've done, silhouette til the good lord come
All we know is distance
We're close and then we run
Kiss away the difference
I know you hate this one
Trying not to lose your own, boxing up everything, you've got
All you ever knew of home, you're scared scared to see
Your mother there in the door, you wonder where did the years go
All we know is distance
We're close and then we run
Kiss away the difference
I know you hate this one
But this is how the story ends
Or have we just begun
To kiss away the difference
I know you hate this one
The violins make no sound
And I begin to feel the ground
All we know is distance
We're close and then we run
Kiss away the difference
I know you hate this one
But this is where the story ends
Or have we just begun
To kiss away the difference
I know you hate this one

Song Suggestion: Where the Story Ends by The Fray

For the self-titled album by the The Fray, the song above is one of the less somber sounding. It starts with a good cymbal beat and perking teeth-tickling (the ivories, the keys).

Anyone else feeling overdue for the election?

 (murmors in the crowd)

Hell. I can't even listen to some piano rock without it glazing my interpretation of the music.

Hell. Even Time magazine is spinning on it's desk chair and clicking the print button 3 times too many:

via

They have me asking, literally, "Which way's up?"

Hell.

When I was in high school I was in theatre. During dress rehearsal week of the 5th production of my 7-production-career I had a melt down. Crying in the hallway outside the cafeteria. Just overload. So ready to freaking give birth to the anticipated event that I started making mistakes. One too many sashays to the left. A beat too late on "right here in River City".

I feel that's how we are, as a nation, now. People are retracing the baseboard next to the yellow wallpaper of their beliefs. And we're wearing a hole in the floorboards people. We're losing site of how we even got in the attic.

Take heart, my fellow Unionites!

The eve of our greatest relief is upon us. In a few short/long days we'll be done with Obama-Romma-Drama and onto reporting Honey Boo-Boo's new line of wheeled sneakers called "Go-Go-Boo-Shoes."

So look forward to the new glitter-n-belly flesh-toned shoes for toddlers. But in the mean time, don't forget to sashay over to the polls and vote right here in River City.

Very Punny (there are a lot of puns, honestly)

Have out-of-towners under your wing or need an escape for a few laughs in Bucktown? Check out my friend Giselle's show at the Gorilla Tango Theatre.

We laughed, we gasped, we drank. It's only $15 a ticket, you can buy them in advance, and there are refreshments available for very reasonable prices.

Gorilla Tango Theatre invites you to rock with us, all night (well, for at least an hour) as we present "That Was It: The Tragic Tale of Our King Michael Jackson" - a parodied-Greek retelling of the rise and fall of our beloved King of Pop. Join our masked Chorus and their prophet, Tiemze (TMZ), as we revisit Michael’s journey to superstardom, his relationships with his celebrity friends, his fall from public favor, and (of course) his most iconic moves. Dust off your fedora and sparkly gloves and come celebrate the life of the King - we’re gonna thrill you tonight!

The actors were great, the story was always moving and engaging and *spoiler alert* there is a surprising transformation that occurs.

Need another hint?

Michael Jackson.

G, I stole your photo. Don't be mad? ;)

That's all I'm saying about that.

I'm so proud of my friend G and really enjoyed seeing her on stage. But to be honest, this show is great even if you don't know G. But if you don't know G, you should. She'sa gonna be famous.

Flip-It Friday: Double Header

Answer one of the two for today's Flip-It Friday:

A) From my personal blog (are they really separate anymore? who knows.)

 - What is your guilty pleasure TV show? 

or

B) From yesterday's post

- What can you not part with when cleaning out your closet/home even though you know the item is impractical?

Song suggestion: Shake it Out by Florence and The Machine

Beverage pairing: In honor of my tea party tomorrow and cleaning out your closet how about a Peter Pantsless  (or in my family, a Neener Pantsless!). The cocktail is made of dark rum and iced tea. 

via

Tips for Taking Care of Yourself in Busy Times

I do nearly all of these. What do you do to take time for yourself and keep your sanity?

Source: thefreedomexperiment.com via Amanda on Pinterest

Advice: Yee-haw! Get Back On The Horse

Sometimes you're up. Sometimes you're down. I feel like there's a song here.

I've had an awesome and terrible couple of weeks.

I've also exaggerated how terrible it's been. It's been mostly great with a few slight hiccups, if I'm being honest and reasonable.

But I'm not honest and reasonable. I all sortsa crazy on a whim.

So what do you do when you've: picked 3 fights with your family in 24 hours, put your foot in your mouth, broke the website at work that they JUST entrusted to you, been late to dinner, wasted money on a cab when you should have walked, let your emails pile up, been "overserved" and therefore "dehydrated" the next morning when you have to go to work and deal with a problem, AND failed to sew the button back onto the only pants that match the sweater you NEED to wear and just say 'screw it' and go to work all sloppy-bobbie with an unbuttoned pocked flap?

 High five me. High five.

What do I do after all of this and a solid half hour of complaining and dramatizing my demise (a la phrases like "This outfit? Take a good look. This is the outfit I'll be wearing when I get fired.").

But after all that I get back on the horse. Nothing's all that bad. I still have a family that loves me (sorry guys, I know you love me even if I've tried to alienate each of you lately), a job (no, I didn't get fired), friends that are willing to say "yes" to a 3rd (or 4th?) bottle of wine, and a trip to Tucson in January to look forward to. Nothing is that bad. All will turn out fine.

So maybe the song should be Where the Blacktop Ends. Original, drugged-out, short-haired Keith Urban.

Actually, no. This is the song.

Advice: Don't take yourself too seriously...

... and if you're a pop star, make sure to have some Glee kids/Kenny G/Hanson in your music video.



Neither Rebecca Black nor Katy Perry take themselves seriously in this video and it's a HIT :)