Stephen Fry Hates Florida, Q & A

I saw this quiz on a girl's blog. Since this is "Answer The Unasked" I'm going to answer questions that weren't asked of me.

The blogger of origin is an entertaining writer but we have 0% in common:

She's single and always minglin'; I am married and always looking for ways to do less socially.
She's lite beer and fireball shots; I'm craft beer and go to bed before 10 (fireball shots must happen after 10, because I don't see them).
She's from Florida; I'm a yankee who thinks Florida is a swamp-dungeon-o-trailer-doom.

Recognize this awesome dude from Top Gear? He toured America and speaks my mind, people! The whole series is on Netflix! Go watch instead of reading this boring post!

So some of these either/or questions will be lost on me.  Let's see how out of touch I am!


iPhone or Droid: I have an iPhone but am intrigued by the Windows phone. My Mr. is super techy and thinks the iPhone is on it's way out. I think he may be right. But I'm legally required to stand beside him in his defection.

NSYNC or Backstreet Boys: Man, lady, guitar, bass, cello... triangle. That's music. A bunch of boys with headsets and no instruments? That's - at best - a talent show.

Being forced to delete Facebook or being forced to delete Twitter: Facebook. If my Grandmother wasn't on FB and I needed it for work, it'd be gone. I could live without both, however.

Fireball or Miller Lite: Nothing lower on the menu than a Red Stripe. It's like a right of passage. Call me pretentious, but I think you grow up, get a 401k, upwardlly change jobs a few times and write off domestic beer that indicates calorie/color/body with the letter L-I-T-E. Bing, bang, boom.

Full House or Family Matters: Family Matters. Its the least of the two evils as I can't handle looking at Danny Tanner now that I've seen his stand-up and if I hear "how rude" one more time...

Dumbledore or Gandalf: Dumbledore 1.0., because Richard Harris is the sh!t.

Dying Easter eggs or Carving pumpkins: I did both of these handicraps a few years ago for the last time. I'm an all-season Grinch when it comes to crafting. I'll gladly drink spiked cider at your fall carving party or a mimosa at your egg party and fumble my way through poking holes in everything. Because, tis the season.

NFL or NCAAF: NPR*

A hangover forever or sobriety forever: The latter. I actually think about this all the time.

January or July: July, because I live Canada-adjacent and January is just the beginning of seasonal depression and 'the-city-doesn't-have-enough-money-in-the-budget-to-properly-plow-the-roads-so-go-get-yourself-some-four-wheel-drive, Chicago'!

Hannah Montana or Miley Cyrus: I can't hear you through this foam finger.

Shark Week or Fashion Week: Both. Yay! Something I don't hate! Although I don't follow either of them, so maybe that's why I like them.

Fresh Prince of Bel-Air or Saved by the Bell: Fresh Prince. Geeze. Maybe my choice of 90's TV shows is indicative of me listening to too much NPR.**

Britney or Christina: Christina. I think she got her life back on track quicker and that shows maturity. I also thought she was way more talented. But no, I'd never buy either of their music.

Burrito or Burrito Bowl: Bowl. Cause forks are for people who care about the shirt they're wearing.

Reading blogs on your phone or reading blogs on your computer:  Computer.

Angelina or Jennifer: Team Everyone Get a Grip On Their Own Lives And Butt Out Already.

Doug Funny or The Rugrats: Thank God I didn't have cable growing up.

An open mouth chewer or a heavy breather: I've been told I'm the latter, so I chose that. I've tried to will people to chew with their mouths closed before by staring at them without blinking. It just makes it worse because they start talking with their mouths full to ask me why I'm staring.


Now you!

--
*I'm an asshole. I see this now.
** Have you heard of their program called Code Switch? It's all about race in America. Maybe my White Guilt is picking the programming.

Why the National Weather Service is Like a Clingy Ex.

Did ya'll get an annoying text from the NWS about the weather this morning at 4 AM?

The Mr. and I sleep with our phones in Do Not Disturb mode and the weird sound/vibration/light show still woke us up.


NWS: Hey, did you know it's raining?
Me: Dude, if I was up doing something that required me to be outside, I'd already know it was raining. I live on the second floor and work's not cancelled for me. Leave me alone.


Not cool, iPhone. Not cool, NWS.

If your alerts are doin' you dirty, here's how to turn that mother-f'er off:

Go to Settings.

Go to Notifications.

 Go to the bottom and turn off Amber Alerts and the Emergency Alerts.

Some may see the benefit of having their phone alert them, but I watch the news. I click "refresh" on the NYTimes site. I pay for NPR.

I don't need the NWS texting me at 4 AM, "You up?"

'Cause I am now, b*tch.

Tipsy Tuesday: Telecommuting

Sorry guys. The car announcement will officially have to wait until tomorrow as the end of working from home is announced at Yahoo.

This whole story hits home for me. I had to investigate and even tune in to the morning shows to watch others talk about it.

Marissa Mayer has announced, through Yahoo HR, that the underdog tech company will discontinue work-from-home options in June of this year.

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So, if you read the article you see that Yahoo may be in a unique circumstance. They are a creative and collaborative tech company who has a bloated, widespread team that, according to some, abuses telecommuting options.

As I write this I am in my pj's, doing laundry, saving money on parking and a dog walker for the day and working from home*.

I will put in abnormal hours (3 hours here, 1 hour there, 5 hours there), but still get everything done  - and then some. I will have the ability to run errands in the city without the headache of the Saturday or post-5 PM rush. I will let my dog stay out of the crate all day and enjoy breaks where I can do the dishes, cook a healthy meal for dinner, run or exercise (and yes, blog for myself) and STILL GET THE JOB DONE.

I'm all for maximizing our options with technology while making workers happy.

And if that means that you can work from home, God bless it.

And if that means that you cannot be trusted to work from home, then you must report to the office (but why are we hiring people we can't trust, I wonder?).

There are certainly people in my company that may be abusing work from home time. For goodness sake, there was a man who worked in Guam for years and still couldn't come to a tele-meeting prepared.

I think telecommuting should be done with much oversight. Be demanding. Hold people accountable. Don't let their work-from-home options get in the way of good work. And maybe even only allow telecommuting on a case-by-case basis (which is what my company does).

I think it's a good idea to let workers stay home for the cable guy or an out-of-town appointment when necessary (which Mayer says will still be possible at Yahoo), even if they don't get a regular work-from-home day.

So what do you think? Is telecommuting a good idea? Are people misusing that option and giving it a bad name at your company?

*I should note that I have to work from home because some of the sights I have to manage for my job are blocked at work and my company does not like the option of giving me exclusive rights to access them in the office.

Book Jackets and Big Faces

the new steve jobs movie: jOBS

I might like it, but it might also make me mad.

I also feel like Kutcher is just using Kelso's wardrobe. But that might make me like it more.

Did I ever tell you that the Steve Jobs biography just made me mad? Not that the writing was bad - overly technical for too long, maybe, but not bad.

The character of Jobs - whether real or exaggerated - was the issue.

We love his stuff. I get it. I'm an iUser too, so I can't hate.

He got wonderful results out of everyday and extraordinary people "but at what cost?" I ask.

Lost mutual respect from designers.
Stolen ideas.
Absent from his family.
Rude to his friends.
Abusive to his employees.

Not to mention the environmental and social cost of smartphones.

But dammit if I can't text/email/call/words-with-friends the shit out of my day!

I don't know I'm being a hypocrite or if "you can't beat 'em, join 'em" is my battle cry.

I also can't tell if this is a real post (long week, weird dreams, tough workdays, higher dosage of melatonin), I just know that I have feelings on this movie that stem directly from who I was introduced to in Walter Isaacson's book.

And I know I had to take the jacket off of that hardback because jackets are cumbersome and JE-ZUZ that face is huge!

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Why We Shouldn't Rely on Technology for Everything

My parents will be in town in two weekends to help my sister and bro-in-law move. My sister has 2 children under the age of 2 and an iPhone. This is an email from my sister. Knowing these clues, we can all assume that no one actually died in the following:

"Mom maybe coming out earlier than dad. I'd love to see you guys. I wouldn't mind chasing babies help and or organizing help at the new house. I would love to see you at the new house and show it off if you guys want to come to us. I dad will be in Saturday and Sunday. Saturday is probably a better day him and if you guys want to come to us at night that defined your input killed Isabella down and we can all hang out.  Let me know what you think.
Sorry, this may sound this email may be weird. However I was using Siri to help me type it."

... killed.

KILLED!? Holy wow. Thanks, Siri.

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