What I Learned From My Boss's Illness

I admire my boss very much. He's a respectful, funny, reasonable guy who gives me a lot of autonomy and trusts me.

So when he was faced with a big illness (the kind that makes you really question what's important in life) my first thought was, "Shit. Is he going to die?"
My second thought was , "Shit. What if he dies?!"
My third thought was, "Ok. While we're all waiting for the other shoe to drop, how do we keep going?"

It may not seem like it, but all of those questions are different.

The first one expresses uncertainty. I was concerned for his life and was trying to decide if we could anticipate a dichotomous outcome. A yes or no.

The second question was more open-ended. It was kind of a choose-your-own-nightmarish-adventure. If he did die, how do we proceed? If he doesn't die, what other obstacles aren't we thinking of that may affect him, his work, his family, etc.? As an employee, what am I supposed to be concerned about? How far does my concern go? What questions am I allowed to ask?

The third question was probably the right one to ask as an employee in my situation. The first two are sort of reactive. They bank on me not controlling the inciting action. And they require so much planning for scenarios that cannot be determined ahead of time. By asking, "how do we keep going?" I am allowed to release myself from the guilt of doing anything for his illness directly. I refocus on helping him in the best way I know how - by doing my job.

When I focus on what I can control I ease anxiety on all fronts. He can trust me to just get things done. I can keep myself busy with work that actually matters and alleviate catastrophizing.

While he's been in diagnosis and treatment processes, I've had the chance to really grow. I have made decisions, voiced concerns and gone to bat for him professionally whenever I can. Nothing fell apart while he was in surgery or at home or waiting at a doctor's office. I have had to contact him while he's been in the hospital, but only for the most urgent of things. And he, I think, likes knowing that we can't completely function without him.

Tipsy Tuesday: Telecommuting

Sorry guys. The car announcement will officially have to wait until tomorrow as the end of working from home is announced at Yahoo.

This whole story hits home for me. I had to investigate and even tune in to the morning shows to watch others talk about it.

Marissa Mayer has announced, through Yahoo HR, that the underdog tech company will discontinue work-from-home options in June of this year.

via

So, if you read the article you see that Yahoo may be in a unique circumstance. They are a creative and collaborative tech company who has a bloated, widespread team that, according to some, abuses telecommuting options.

As I write this I am in my pj's, doing laundry, saving money on parking and a dog walker for the day and working from home*.

I will put in abnormal hours (3 hours here, 1 hour there, 5 hours there), but still get everything done  - and then some. I will have the ability to run errands in the city without the headache of the Saturday or post-5 PM rush. I will let my dog stay out of the crate all day and enjoy breaks where I can do the dishes, cook a healthy meal for dinner, run or exercise (and yes, blog for myself) and STILL GET THE JOB DONE.

I'm all for maximizing our options with technology while making workers happy.

And if that means that you can work from home, God bless it.

And if that means that you cannot be trusted to work from home, then you must report to the office (but why are we hiring people we can't trust, I wonder?).

There are certainly people in my company that may be abusing work from home time. For goodness sake, there was a man who worked in Guam for years and still couldn't come to a tele-meeting prepared.

I think telecommuting should be done with much oversight. Be demanding. Hold people accountable. Don't let their work-from-home options get in the way of good work. And maybe even only allow telecommuting on a case-by-case basis (which is what my company does).

I think it's a good idea to let workers stay home for the cable guy or an out-of-town appointment when necessary (which Mayer says will still be possible at Yahoo), even if they don't get a regular work-from-home day.

So what do you think? Is telecommuting a good idea? Are people misusing that option and giving it a bad name at your company?

*I should note that I have to work from home because some of the sights I have to manage for my job are blocked at work and my company does not like the option of giving me exclusive rights to access them in the office.

The Sanity Sucking Siren of Summer

The hot pink circles are weekends out of town, the green are in-town activities, the pink/purple notes are my revelations about how little free time we have and the black is censorship/general scribbling/tentative things. 

If all goes as planned:

- We'll be out of town 5 weekends in a row, spending 40 hours in a car and ~11 hours in an airport/plane.
- I'll get my 6 miles in this week, but I'll be rushing it. (I had to schedule my gym time this Friday... I've never had to write it into my schedule before.)
- I won't gain stress/travel/party-junk-food weight
- We'll see some houses we like (for buyin', ya'll!) or at least not get discouraged if we don't like the houses we do see.
- I will get 8 hours of sleep a night and still have time to do my hair >4 days a week. Weekends be damned for hair maintenance.
- I'll make it through August with a little over a day of PTO left, a working car (she's hanging on... by a spark plug!), and an intact marriage. Car trips are either really smooth or horribly awful for us/the car/morale.

Do you guys feel the summer siren luring you in with her warmth and vacations only to rob you blind of all your free time and energy?

We are doing just fine when it comes to managing our time, so far. The Mr. encourages me to take a short-term look instead of a long-term look at the calendar to keep from being overwhelmed. Every time I pull my head out of the sand, though, I regret it!

If you don't hear from me tomorrow for a Tipsy Tuesday, let it be known that I am not just sitting on the couch, twittling my thumbs! My tip for being busy in the summer? Keep an updated, clean, shared calendar with those who need to know. And keep an upbeat attitude.