Flip-It Friday: Dreams

I had a dream last night that I broke up an ex-boyfriend's marriage so that I could marry... her. His wife. I stole my ex-boyfriend's wife. WhatDaFoog?

In middle school I fancied myself an amateur dream interpreter. I would make up silly reasons for my friends dreams and sometimes I could hit the subconscious nail on it's subliminal head.

If I were to perform a self analysis on this one, I'd say that I was battling an identity crisis - a deep one - within my career. So deep that I'm deflecting it on my relationships and overall sexuality so that I don't have to look at how unhappy I am in my current job and how that reflects on my self esteem. I want to take parallels (traditional, current relationships and the present time) and make them perpendicular (countersexual, past relationships and past time).

I'm also introducing competition as a way of "winning" at something despite my "losing" career. See, this ex-boyfriend was/is in intellectual and I once beat him to the punch at taking our high school physics teacher to a school sponsored dinner in honor of high achieving students. I asked this teacher to attend as my honored guest before my ex could, just to spite him. I was not a physics wiz and this teacher and I had an unremarkable relationship. But the ex was a wiz and did have that relationship. I was just being competitive. And a spiteful ex. Even though I broke up with him. What's my problem?

[pause]

Or I have low iron and want a cheeseburger.

Analyze that slice of crazy, wontcha?

Have you had any weird dreams lately?

On Why Creatives Must Learn to Follow Rules, Or Not

I failed one of my first creative writing classes in undergrad. 

Well, not failed, but I got a C which isn't a passing grade when the course is integral to your major. 

Integral? Well, it WAS my major.

Never mind that I took it again and did much better. 

The point is that I got a C.

Because I didn't follow the rules.

"Rules? But I got into a creative field for the lack of rules!"

Or so I thought. 

With a broken spirit

 (or so I thought) 

I retook the course with another TA and passed.

I played by the rules, used all of the required literary elements and wrote my thesis by. the. book.

Then I got out of that course and started breaking every damn rule they taught me.

Or so I thought.

I had to know the rules to break them.

Or so I think.

What do you think? Do you think art has rules?

Tipsy Tuesday: Become an Engineer

Or a nurse. Or an computer programmer. Or an accountant.

I'll stick with engineer because: needles, binary and boring.

In High School I took advanced Science and Math courses, but not English. So, why then, did I choose to go into English (Creative Writing) in college? And tack on Psychology as a minor? Because I wanted to be an advice columnist.

And advice columnist. I'll give you a second to look where you are and realize that this is what's become of my degree.

I gave up my established track in the coveted STEM fields for the Liberal Arts.

Liberal - not bound by authoritarianism
Arts - the conscious use of skill and creative imagination especially in the production of aesthetic objects
Liberal Arts - college or university studies intended to provide chiefly general knowledge and to develop general intellectual capacities as opposed to professional or vocational skills

By definition I shouldn't expect to get a job from the Liberal Arts.
Alternate Title: Social Media is the New Homemaking
AKA. Shit People With Little Education Can Do At Home For No/Low Income*
AKA Twitter = Cross stitch

Did I love taking Pre-Calculus a year early? No. It was hard.

And you bet I got nervous around upperclassmen in Biology II. So much that I stuttered nervously over simple things like genetics diagrams. ("It would have a 25% chance of being a ppppurple ppppeony.")

So what if you got a C in Physics? You know what they call C-grade doctors? Doctors.**

I chose writing and the arts. I stuck to my dreams and now I'm living them. I play Facebook for a day job and consult a thesaurus more than I do my own reasoning. Hopefully I'll get a few years in before my salary caps out or Social Media gives out and I'll have to get to cocoon and rebirth myself as a Creative Director.

Or an Engineer.

--
*Not that you are stupid. Just saying you don't have a to be a genius to do either. And both can trend toward degradation quickly. (LinkedIn is to me what toilets are to June Cleaver.)
**Not endorsing doing substandard work. Just endorsing some practical motivation to do something concrete and maybe hard in your life -  even if you aren't the best at it.

Online Shopping Supports My Decision to Not Become a Parent

Searching for a gift for my niece's first birthday (Happy Birthday on the 23rd!), I narrowed my choices down to 3 and let the reviews do the choosing. Among other notes (usefulness, educational level and if it will be gender neutral to share with her brother), these negative reviews steered me toward an easy winner.

"Awful! Loud, chaotic, no real educational value, and worst of all not [the toy it advertised]."

"... a riot of crazy beeps, chimes, and voices goes off. We had it on the quiet setting and even so, it drove us crazy just testing it."

"...it just brings on another seizure-inducing round of flashes and shrill noises."

"... I am reluctant to let her play with it because she can fit the entire circle shapes (cookie and orange) completely into her mouth."

Bwahhahahah! My sister should thank me for avoiding the riotous, seizure-inducing, mouthful toys.

For the baby who has everything? A smartphone with 4-G, Fisher Price technology.

I'm seriously considering writing a check for her college fund. It's the ultimate educational gift and she can share with her brother, should he grow up to be a deadbeat.

Theatre Saved My Life

Theatre/Theater. What-have-you.

I got a FB message from a former teacher of mine about the arts in my high school.

She writes:

"I am currently scheduled to meet with the principals of WHS about
suggestions I gave them concerning the importance of the arts in
school. WHS no longer has a full time band director and the arts are
not what they once were. There is currently very little support of
any of the performing arts. I don't think they mean to do it, I just
don't think they realize the importance it has on many students. I'm
hoping to take with me a pile of letters from people who have spent
time on the WHS stage and feel their life is better for doing so. I
know most of you are not Broadway stars...but you all are productive
members of society. If you have any time in the next two weeks I
would LOVE it if you could email me a short note that I could share
with the principals. I know some of you are having babies, moving,
and are busy...but if you could take a couple of minutes (I know you
have lots of opinions!) and could just send me something about how a
booming theater program helped you become who you are I would greatly
appreciate it. WHS has had a hard year with several suicides. Kids
feel alone. Did being in the theater make you feel like you belonged?"

 Hell yes.

Wawasee is a polarizing community. With million-dollar lake houses across the street from mobile homes, the serving and the served live side by side. Not unlike Downton Abbey*.

I grew up socially awkward, poor, flat-chested, wearin' hand-me-downs, oblivious to the flat-iron, singing made-up songs, wearing clogs, had the glasses/braces combo, riding the bus and not tweezing my eyebrows until I was teased for it.

By the time I hit 6th grade, the fission of friendships with those kids who had the right lip gloss, got highlights and wore brand names was apparent.

My dad was in theatre in his high school years and took me to see Brigadoon at WHS in the late '90s. Dad played the affable foil to the main character when he was a teenager and wanted to see the show as much as I did. From the overture, I was hooked.

I never try anything unless I know I can be the best at it. I am that insecure. But when I was one of four freshman to try out for the play in 2000, I had a hunch that I wouldn't get a part. So I did stage makeup.

Then, when the musical came around and I was cast as a chorus member, I felt like my world had opened up.

I participated in every show - onstage, backstage, in the green room, on a headset. It was my world. I made the best of friends there and never felt alone. When you strip down what money can buy and put all of the girls in homemade dresses and cake make-up, it levels the playing field.

WHS theatre beckoned football players, stoners, swimmers, cheerleaders, gamers, members of the band, honor students, failing students, the tone deaf and the stage frightened! Athletes would do two-a-days to participate and the top 10% in academics would pull all-nighters to get their work done AND stay on stage. It was cool to sing on stage, to put make-up on a guy, to wear a hoop skirt and character shoes.

And in 2003 when my fellow student, dance partner, theatre comrade and boyfriend died in a car accident, it was the theatre crowd who was there for me.

Theatre kids came to meet me at his house when I couldn't make sense of it.
Theatre kids took me home with them so I had 'round-the-clock support. That first night, I woke up in a bed I'd never seen, in a house I'd never been, befriended by people I'd only known through theatre.
Theatre kids loved me through a period of time when I was angry, mean and confused - a pall took years to lift.
Theatre directors, producers, conductors and parents took me to movies to keep me busy, constantly checked in with me, corrected me when my emotions got away from me and taught me how to channel my hurt into my art.

I was a smart kid, with loving parents and a good home. I would have been fine without it, but my high school years would have been worthless without theatre.

So when I graduated in 2004, it meant everything that freshmen I'd never met knew my name.

They knew my name.

I wasn't a celebrity, but I was somebody. I mattered. I hope many more students at Wawasee can get the opportunity for community, belonging and life lessons like I did.

I got to play Anna in the King and I. When I'm home this weekend I should get the photos and post them.

---
Leave a comment or email me if you want the contact information for submitting your own letter in support of the arts at WHS.


*What I wouldn't GIVE to be in the stage version of THAT!

Flip-It Friday: Reunions Make Us Feel Like We're in HS Again, But This Time The Nerds Are Winning

My husband's high school reunion is coming up. He is on the fence about going and would really only attend to support the class representatives throwing the party.

Sidebar: With social media, who goes/holds reunions anymore? Its so easy to find the people you want to see and ignore the ones you don't! On second thought, this isn't a sidebar, this is my main thought. Keep reading, though. 

I see reunions as a few things:

- Reason to see old friends
- Excuse to rub it in everyone's face that you have a cool job/hot wife/successful kids/that your nose job turned out well.
- Excuse to reconnect with old flames/friends to make them jealous (sorta like the above comment)
- Excuse to network (sales people, social types, those looking for work, etc.)
- A night out for townies who never left home

So with all of those reasons in mind I think that reunions, on the whole, are pretty pathetic and an invitation for competition. Like a wedding, only the main couple hasn't been predetermined so everyone is vying for homecoming king/queen all over again.

The Mr. didn't have a ton of close friends in high school. He's remained close with the friends he did have and they see each other frequently.

The choice to attend it ultimately up to him.

Even if I go kicking.and.screaming.then.putting.on.a.nice.face.for.the.videographer.

My question to you is:
Would/did/will you attend your high school reunion? 
Do you see the point in reunions? 
Would you have fun at a reunion?

Disclaimer: This has no bearing on whether or not we go and is not intended to offend said Mr. or anyone else who has fun at mass-gatherings. If any of you have followed me for long or know me in person, you know that I am like conversational cyclops (awkward, conspicuous, "abrupt of emotion") in big groups and have to turn the whole thing into a game (count how many times he says "uh" or try to picture his head on his wife's body ... hahaha, he's wearing lady shoes!) in order to keep offenses at a minimal.

Source: google.com via Lonny on Pinterest

Killermann

My fellow POA-er, Sam Killermann, (and my Mentee, but there's no way I "mentored" anything in him... He did just fine in spite of knowing me!) wrote and performs a follow up to Macklemore's Same Love.

My bro and I are going to see Macklemore at PU in March. I'm so excited. I haven't been this impressed by a rapper in a while... since Kid Cudi, actually. And Mack (can I call you Mack?) is 100x more respectable than Kid. Using his talent and reach for good. Mmmhmm. That's the stuff. 

Here's Macklemore's original:

March to the Beat of Your Own

Starting with "Reads lying down" and ending with "dogs"

I'm:

Right

Left

Right

Right

Right

Right

Right

Left

Right-brained teacher (lots of visuals in my recent presentation about what I do at my job) and a mixed student. Groups? No thank you. But I think that's just the introvert in me. I am, however, a big-picture learner.

You?

Source: holykaw.alltop.com via Christina on Pinterest

Song Suggestion: Mean by Taylor Swift

"Someday
I'll be
Living a big ol' city"

Haha, totes am.

Tipsy Tuesday: Just Say No to School

I'm done with school.

Don't get me wrong, I loved school at all levels and plan to be a life-long learner (hello reading!), but until collegiate learning is more affordable, I won't go back.

I was reading this girl's tale about graduating with 6-figure debt. She and I have parallel lives (grew up on a tight budget, got scholarships for undergrad, got degrees in Creative Writing and Psychology, graduated with no debt) right up until she decides to go back to school.

I'm taking this as the final sign that I should take grad school off the table.

Listen, I know for some of you out there, higher degrees have helped your career and you are making 3-fold what you would have made without that masters/doctorate. To you, I say my new favorite phrase:

"Good on ya."

But the rest of you. C'mon! Creative Writing or other "arts" don't need a higher degree... especially if you cannot afford it! Unless scholarships/fellowships/dad is willing to pay for it, your 6-figure debt in loans will not be worth it. You'll never be able to pay it back without a lifetime of sacrifice.

Come. on.

I've been guilty of thinking about getting a masters. I wanted to do it. I love school, learning and the idea that I can add an entire other line to my resume. But it would never be worth it.

I'm going to use my psychology (bah!) to list some words that might describe you who are pursing higher degrees for no other reason than the love of syllabi, freshly sharpened pencils and earning A's instead of $'s. If any of these resonate, take heart and stop wasting your time and money:

Coward
That's right, you may be a coward. You may be afraid to try and fail. You may be worried that no one will like your work. You may be worried that the real world is hard.

Idiot
You might be an idiot if you think that a master's degree is the sand in which you may stick your ostrich-head while you wait for the storm of low employment to pass and the economy to turn around.

Math-Challenged Idiot
You're this special breed of idiot if you think that your masters degree will guarantee you more money and therefore will be worth the expense. Life costs more than you think. For instance, you need to account for taxes. Take your potential salary and lop off a third of it. Use a calculator if you have to.

Elitist
You may be afraid to work a job you think is beneath you. You are better than the rest of us. You are so smart. You will wow us all at parties one day. But you won't be invited to those parties if you stink of pretension and too-poor-for-deodorant.

Parasite
You are totally okay with living off the land (Walden style) or living off of others (Tinker Grey style). Some may have sympathy for you and give you a hand-out. "This starving artist I know", they'd say. I'm not saying that struggling for your art is bad; I am saying that planning on relying on others is bad. And relying on them when you could have avoided some massive debt is bad.  Heaven help you if you rub elbows with Republicans.

Lesson? Don't go back to school if you can't afford it.

Any of those sound familiar?
Are you in a master's program and you see a light at the end of the tunnel, both financially and career-wise?
Did you get your masters/doctorate and regret it?
Do you regret undergrad?
Am I too harsh? Comment and chew me out :)

via

Get a Job or Get a Diploma

[Or just get a life! -*zing*]

I kid, I kid. School is awesome. I wish I could make a living out of going to school.

But after going to a social media marketing conference last week ($200 for a day) I thought, "I'm not learning anything here; I should totally just give up on these one-offs and get my MBA in marketing!"

I spent the afternoon pricing out schools in the area, looking at class schedules and emailing those I know who have taken graduate exams to see what their thoughts are on it.

Backing up a few months, I saw a quote to the following effect on Facebook and it made me cringe:

"Hey FB friends! What should I get my masters degree in??"

.... no words, lady. No words.

If you have to ask, maybe you shouldn't be going back to school, hmmm?

via

Fast-forward again. I'm sitting on the train with my roommate (i.e. Mr. S) and say "I'm going to get my MBA. Would you mind living in Chicago for another few years while I wrap this up?"

He blinks at me, agrees that it's fine, but I think that's all just a tactic to go along with my wild ideas until I lose sight of them.

Consider THIS the reason that sight has been lost.

I have a great job that's entertaining my creativity but is still challenging enough that most days I pinch myself and worry that they'll find me out for the fraud I am (if they only knew what I don't know...). I have a career track that's worthwhile to me and that I can see rocketing me in the right direction. I have NO debt and I'm on schedule to BUY a house with my roommate/husband by the end of next year (woo-hoo!).

Why would I want to spend 3 years shoveling money into a maybe-pit? Thanks, but no thanks. I'll take my extra money and have a waiter bring me Mai Thais on my private rooftop deck.

via

*Edit: As always, do what's right for you. I know many people who have several advanced degrees -some making use of these degrees, some not. Remember, for the sake of this blog (and in my life in general) I use extremes and seek to get a rise out of people. No shock about that. Carry on.