In Which I Say To Self, "That Sounds Hard"

I wrote an advice blogs for years and am JUST NOW realizing how annoying that is.

I had caffeine with a friend and alcohol with another friend. I had lots of revelations about how much I just can't know anyone else's struggle. Its impossible to walk in their shoes, as one said. Who cares what my opinions are on other people's lives. Statement, not question.

I've been wrong about a lot, and I've published most of it here to really rub the salt in. I've given up whatever "faith" used to be to me and pretty much take guidance from gut feelings and Yogi tea tags.

"By honoring your words, you are honored."
"If you don't love where you come from, you can't love where you're going."
"We are here to love each other, serve each other and uplift each other."
"Socialize with compassion, kindness and grace."

image via

Love! Compassion! St. John's Wort steeped for 5 minutes!

On what I can advise (myself) is how to just be with your feelings. Let them out when they need to be out. Practice self care. Practice listening. Forgive people when they try to tell you to put your feelings away and just "embrace it" already. YogiTeaJesus knows I need some forgiveness for that, too.

In this advice about getting through mundane cocktail parties, we're asked to just level with people instead of trying to identify with them. "That sounds hard," is always the best response to hearing about someone's career. It helps them feel heard. Important. Sympathy.

Same goes for moving, divorce, unemployment, depression, loss, overwhelming wins, guilt, backhanded compliments and just "venting".

"That sounds hard."
"Yeah, it is."

Multitasking! Phone Dates

Last night I called my mom on the way home through the blue tooth in the car. I called my Grandmother through my earbuds on a walk with the dog (in the snow!). I called back a friend while I was in the bathtub.

Multitasking!

My friend and I took a brief hiatus on our phone call so that I could get out of the tub and so that she could check out at the store, but we then continued our call while she was driving home and I was cooking dinner.

Multi-freakin'-tasking!

It was so nice to catch up with family and friends while doing other things. Don't get me wrong, I love all of these people dearly, but I cannot stand being on the phone. It's my least favorite form of communication. I'd take in-person, texting, letter writing, etc. over the phone.

In fact, I hate the phone so much that I usually put off calling people until I am forced to. Or until I have a few minutes alone where I can't do anything else (yesterday's commute home, for example). This explains why I did all of my phone conversing at once. Getting two hours of phone chatting out of the way while driving, walking the dog, bathing and cooking was excellent.

Multitasking!

Seattle = dog, Portland = cat*

Seattle, 2013.

Unexpected stop in Spokane due to thick fog in Seattle. Duh.

4 Days, 3 Nights, Airbnb studio apartment in Capital Hill.

Some seafood, some tea, lots of coffee, a bit of beer, tastes of wine.

Played Battleship and Heads-Up.

Walked up and down hills and hiked around parks and piers.

Arguably more homeless than Chicago. One drunkard was looking for a "man to love" him. (record scratch)

Slept about 9 hours/night. 

Saw fish tossed at the market. Took a ferry to Bainbridge Island. Rode the monorail. Took in some open-mic comedy. 

Fire roasted bagels. Russian sauerkraut pastries. Mussels and clams. Rumbles are like scrambles. Fish tacos. Homemade potato chips. Local vegetarian pot pie. 

Drove 2 hours to Ellensburg to meet my great aunt and uncle for the second time and my dad's cousin and her husband for the first time. 

Family is great!

Volunteer Park

Water supply

Chia cow outside of a shop that sells locally sourced prepared food in refundable containers

Remedy Teas

Seattle Coffee Works

Bedlam Coffee

Boat to Bainbridge

Stopped along the Pass to Ellensburg.

Seeing sun for the first time in days.

Meeting family for the first time.

*A review I read that compared the two cities said that Seattle is the "dog-person" city while Portland is the "cat-person" city. I'm so glad we chose the one we did! And we saw a lot of dogs! They are allowed in every shop, mall, public place you can imagine!

Roo-Bee and The Big Back Yard

The Mr. and I took a long weekend to go south for the pre-winter. We spend over 3 days with my parents and their big, fenced-in, bunny/mole/chipmunk-filled back yard. 'Twas dog-heaven!

My brother joined us for two days and some whiskey-ciders. 

I put a cinnamon apple garnish on his drink with an accidental middle-finger outline. 

He made an appropriate face.

We got to take Roo with us which was nerve-wracking for her inclination to car-puke and her somewhat tenacious play. He did fine on both and my family's dog, Dilly, was so patient. Here she is napping. In Roo's bed. With a pillow on her. 

Here they are both napping. Roo loved being part of a pack. She weaseled her way into a cuddle at any chance she got. Dilly was again patient, although she was not as thrilled for the head-to-head cuddles. So cute it needs to be the largest photo.

Here the Mr. is with a gun. 

Lord.

We did end up target shooting later that weekend. 

I smoked 'em!

These targets are hanging up in my office and I can't wait to show my highly conservative bosses my accuracy and versatility with a 1911 Sig Sauer, a revolver (Dad can comment with the make) and a bolt-action Browning. 

Right AND left handed. 

Boom. 

Thanks for the 

dog play,

black coffee, 

dutch apple pie (I ate more last night even thought I wasn't AT ALL hungry!), 

campfire meat, 

laughing at the stupidest things, 

shootin' the metaphorical breeze, 

deer sightings,

shooting the literal rifle range,

apple cider,

talks during football/baseball/movies,

later nights,

sleeping in,

muddy boots,

government shutdown distraction,

tennis ball, 

naps, 

and twin beds :)

Happy Retirement!

Two of my most favorite people retire today.

Love you Mom and Dad!

You'll be officially celebrated when we get together in June!

Tipsy Tuesday: You Gotta Be Cotton Me?!

Buh-dum-kish!

Our second wedding anniversary is just weeks away and the traditional gift is... Cotton!

I love the theme (although I didn't follow it last year and gave him a bowl made of glass from our wedding site), so I've compiled some cotton gifts.

Lace shoes

Funky quilt for spare room

Oil on canvas

Natural pillow

Funny tea towel

The non-traditional gift for second anniversaries is china. What do you think? Would you give something completely different?

I ripped this photo off of my sister - Sorry!

The Mr.'s reaction: I have man-boobs in this picture.*
My reaction: Do you have man-boobs in real life? Family, nightly push-ups are now mandatory!

*I airbrushed your m-boobs a bit. Do they look less booby?

Theatre Saved My Life

Theatre/Theater. What-have-you.

I got a FB message from a former teacher of mine about the arts in my high school.

She writes:

"I am currently scheduled to meet with the principals of WHS about
suggestions I gave them concerning the importance of the arts in
school. WHS no longer has a full time band director and the arts are
not what they once were. There is currently very little support of
any of the performing arts. I don't think they mean to do it, I just
don't think they realize the importance it has on many students. I'm
hoping to take with me a pile of letters from people who have spent
time on the WHS stage and feel their life is better for doing so. I
know most of you are not Broadway stars...but you all are productive
members of society. If you have any time in the next two weeks I
would LOVE it if you could email me a short note that I could share
with the principals. I know some of you are having babies, moving,
and are busy...but if you could take a couple of minutes (I know you
have lots of opinions!) and could just send me something about how a
booming theater program helped you become who you are I would greatly
appreciate it. WHS has had a hard year with several suicides. Kids
feel alone. Did being in the theater make you feel like you belonged?"

 Hell yes.

Wawasee is a polarizing community. With million-dollar lake houses across the street from mobile homes, the serving and the served live side by side. Not unlike Downton Abbey*.

I grew up socially awkward, poor, flat-chested, wearin' hand-me-downs, oblivious to the flat-iron, singing made-up songs, wearing clogs, had the glasses/braces combo, riding the bus and not tweezing my eyebrows until I was teased for it.

By the time I hit 6th grade, the fission of friendships with those kids who had the right lip gloss, got highlights and wore brand names was apparent.

My dad was in theatre in his high school years and took me to see Brigadoon at WHS in the late '90s. Dad played the affable foil to the main character when he was a teenager and wanted to see the show as much as I did. From the overture, I was hooked.

I never try anything unless I know I can be the best at it. I am that insecure. But when I was one of four freshman to try out for the play in 2000, I had a hunch that I wouldn't get a part. So I did stage makeup.

Then, when the musical came around and I was cast as a chorus member, I felt like my world had opened up.

I participated in every show - onstage, backstage, in the green room, on a headset. It was my world. I made the best of friends there and never felt alone. When you strip down what money can buy and put all of the girls in homemade dresses and cake make-up, it levels the playing field.

WHS theatre beckoned football players, stoners, swimmers, cheerleaders, gamers, members of the band, honor students, failing students, the tone deaf and the stage frightened! Athletes would do two-a-days to participate and the top 10% in academics would pull all-nighters to get their work done AND stay on stage. It was cool to sing on stage, to put make-up on a guy, to wear a hoop skirt and character shoes.

And in 2003 when my fellow student, dance partner, theatre comrade and boyfriend died in a car accident, it was the theatre crowd who was there for me.

Theatre kids came to meet me at his house when I couldn't make sense of it.
Theatre kids took me home with them so I had 'round-the-clock support. That first night, I woke up in a bed I'd never seen, in a house I'd never been, befriended by people I'd only known through theatre.
Theatre kids loved me through a period of time when I was angry, mean and confused - a pall took years to lift.
Theatre directors, producers, conductors and parents took me to movies to keep me busy, constantly checked in with me, corrected me when my emotions got away from me and taught me how to channel my hurt into my art.

I was a smart kid, with loving parents and a good home. I would have been fine without it, but my high school years would have been worthless without theatre.

So when I graduated in 2004, it meant everything that freshmen I'd never met knew my name.

They knew my name.

I wasn't a celebrity, but I was somebody. I mattered. I hope many more students at Wawasee can get the opportunity for community, belonging and life lessons like I did.

I got to play Anna in the King and I. When I'm home this weekend I should get the photos and post them.

---
Leave a comment or email me if you want the contact information for submitting your own letter in support of the arts at WHS.


*What I wouldn't GIVE to be in the stage version of THAT!

Happy Valentines

To a Late In Life Love, Pink

I've had a strange relationship with pink.
I never liked her, never met her.
As an eclectic, elective, inventive second girl,
I much preferred, always received, came to own
purple
blue
green.

Those last three came in dolls
They came in matching clothes
Pink for her and other for me.
As a second, of course,
Pink was for firsts and onlys.

I took pride in purple!
Boasted full of blue!
Grabbed green by the horns!
Pink and firsts deserve one another.
What they have together they can keep forever.

Repressed, Pink laid in wait.
Patient, Pink.

All in one day I grew up
into a long, pink gown.
Hi Pink.
"Hi, piano-play-ivory-pale skin," she replied.

Afterwards
I took on blush.
I welcomed watermelon.
Pale red read well.
Dark, near oranges
arranged upon me.

Finally feeling first, feminine,
I flush in a complimentary shades
of and for a late in life love.

change

Source: yfrog.com via Gabriel on Pinterest

Mmm-mm. You go on, Brother G.B.S.

Admit when you are wrong and change.

I am quick to see the need for change in others. When to cut our losses. When to choose another path. When to curb a behavior.

Imma gonna take a moment of introspection and see where I can be "capable of change."

Join me?

How to Kick The Flu in Two

I got the flu and only needed 2 days off of work. Here's how I did it.

1) Sleep until you cannot sleep any more, then take a melatonin and go to bed at 8 PM.
2) Drink water, juice, any fluids you can stomach (not alcohol or caffeine as they interrupt your sleep)
3) Take a multivitamin with your chicken noodle soup (so as not to upset your stomach).

I'm baffled by how many adults continue to carry out their normal lives when their sick. They take some tylenol and then carry on like nothing's wrong. Meanwhile, they infect others and take 2x longer to get well.

I know taking time off of work is not possible for everyone. And I know that taking time out from life is not always possible either. Single moms with pets and full-time jobs? Hats off to you!

I'm thankful for my husband and family and flexible job that allowed me to stay in bed and eat soup and sleep 12 hours a day in order to get well. I had incredible help and options and that's really what got me well :)

For pictures, you can see my annoying instagram on the right ----->>>>

The other shoe (drops): Mental Health

Some of the best bloggers I know are Jennys (too) and crazy (too).

And they are dealing with things that some of us need to read about and commiserate with.

I had another gun ownership/control/regulation post all locked and loaded (very appropriate/inappropriate pun) spurred by this article and then I grew a heart and a brain and didn't post it.

I had the pleasure of talking with all of the men in my life in the past week or so. Great, long, wonderful conversations that made me so happy for the family I've been given.

Spanning life decisions, lessons and grievances, we talked about highlights and low-lights. And, all of these men being my *favorite* - no exception, I told one of them that when things get tough, I know that I can never do anything so drastic, so selfish as hurt myself or anyone else because of ...

them.

I have been lucky to see a counselor in my life and know that professional help is nearby, accessible and reasonably priced with my insurance. I have a short, but important list of people I can call and be a verbal nut-house to and know that they'll answer and say "mmm-hmm" even if they think I should be committed or slapped. I know that I am loved even when I screw up royally.  I've walked into their arms, sobbing, for stupid reasons or no reason at all. And they don't laugh at me, or interrupt me when I'm rambling or tell me they have to go. I am so damn lucky.

So ask for help when you need it. And when you're doing well, reach out to someone and see if you can hug them, or listen to them, or commiserate with them. Make an anti-suicide pact - a promise to never give up on yourself or those who depend on you.

No one is an island. Thanks for connecting me to the mainland S, G, R and B.

"If you can grow mutton chops, we'll give you a Texas license"

...  or put you in the circus," said the man who checked my Illinois ID at the brewery.

And out of the several hundred people at the brews and beards event, he even remembered me when I left. I must have had "Yankee" tattooed on my forehead. 

Texas was a GREAT time! Food, booze, a great couple of friends and some of their furry family made for one excellent weekend.

Some new and repeat photos from my Instagram and iPhone:

 Sneaky photos in the Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit

The Nuremberg Bible.

The Dead Sea Scrolls were found in the Middle East... but Texas is everywhere!

Brewery tour. They hosted the North Texas Beard Alliance (is that a real thing?). 

Live music, craft beer, beard contests. Awesome!

Pint glasses to take home that say "Beer'd"!

TCU kegs.

Then we went to the Stockards...

Where the cattle roam...

And the cowgirls wave for the crowd...

Rhinestone cowgirl.

This pooch walks himself.

"The National Beer of Texas"

The Wongoose Zoo includes Millie the pitbull...

Phoebe the Alaskan mutt...

Ozzie the small dachshund/terrier mix...  

 Ernie the huge hound (sitting on/crushing Maddy's lap).

And two cats. 

But who cares about cats? j/k, cats are... fine!

Such a good time. I will come back someday and take on even more restaurants, sights, music, dogs and great weather!

Thank, Wongoose Zoo, for taking me in and showing me the town. You're welcome in Chicago anytime. You guys set the bar high for giving a well-rounded experience in only 2 days!