In Which I Say To Self, "That Sounds Hard"

I wrote an advice blogs for years and am JUST NOW realizing how annoying that is.

I had caffeine with a friend and alcohol with another friend. I had lots of revelations about how much I just can't know anyone else's struggle. Its impossible to walk in their shoes, as one said. Who cares what my opinions are on other people's lives. Statement, not question.

I've been wrong about a lot, and I've published most of it here to really rub the salt in. I've given up whatever "faith" used to be to me and pretty much take guidance from gut feelings and Yogi tea tags.

"By honoring your words, you are honored."
"If you don't love where you come from, you can't love where you're going."
"We are here to love each other, serve each other and uplift each other."
"Socialize with compassion, kindness and grace."

image via

Love! Compassion! St. John's Wort steeped for 5 minutes!

On what I can advise (myself) is how to just be with your feelings. Let them out when they need to be out. Practice self care. Practice listening. Forgive people when they try to tell you to put your feelings away and just "embrace it" already. YogiTeaJesus knows I need some forgiveness for that, too.

In this advice about getting through mundane cocktail parties, we're asked to just level with people instead of trying to identify with them. "That sounds hard," is always the best response to hearing about someone's career. It helps them feel heard. Important. Sympathy.

Same goes for moving, divorce, unemployment, depression, loss, overwhelming wins, guilt, backhanded compliments and just "venting".

"That sounds hard."
"Yeah, it is."

Tipsy Tuesday: How to Show Gratitude

I am excellent at sending thank you cards (love mail!), but horrible at the actual in-the-moment "thanks".

I always try to qualify it. Or make it grander than it should be, causing my gratitude to seem fake. Or downplay it like I am undeserving of said gift/compliment. Or worse.

I was a senior in high school and was spending time with a boy who would be my prom date (or already had been... the order of events is fuzzy). He had been on a family vacation and brought me back a gift. We had hung out for several hours before he revealed what the gift was. I was surprised when he unwound a string of shell beads from his wrist to reveal a women's necklace.
When he handed it to me I said, "That's it?"
Becoming embarrassed he said, "Yes. That's it."
Realizing my rude expression I backpedaled, "Oh no, I don't mean 'That's it' like it's not great. I mean 'That's it.' like... You've been wearing it the whole time... and I didn't notice that it was new or different."

Ouch.

This past weekend I made my Mr. proud by simply thanking his mom for a compliment she paid me over the oatmeal I cooked. Oatmeal, folks.

How do you show your thankfulness? Just say, "Thank you."