I wrote an advice blogs for years and am JUST NOW realizing how annoying that is.
I had caffeine with a friend and alcohol with another friend. I had lots of revelations about how much I just can't know anyone else's struggle. Its impossible to walk in their shoes, as one said. Who cares what my opinions are on other people's lives. Statement, not question.
I've been wrong about a lot, and I've published most of it here to really rub the salt in. I've given up whatever "faith" used to be to me and pretty much take guidance from gut feelings and Yogi tea tags.
"By honoring your words, you are honored."
"If you don't love where you come from, you can't love where you're going."
"We are here to love each other, serve each other and uplift each other."
"Socialize with compassion, kindness and grace."
Love! Compassion! St. John's Wort steeped for 5 minutes!
On what I can advise (myself) is how to just be with your feelings. Let them out when they need to be out. Practice self care. Practice listening. Forgive people when they try to tell you to put your feelings away and just "embrace it" already. YogiTeaJesus knows I need some forgiveness for that, too.
In this advice about getting through mundane cocktail parties, we're asked to just level with people instead of trying to identify with them. "That sounds hard," is always the best response to hearing about someone's career. It helps them feel heard. Important. Sympathy.
Same goes for moving, divorce, unemployment, depression, loss, overwhelming wins, guilt, backhanded compliments and just "venting".
"That sounds hard."
"Yeah, it is."
Showing posts with label etiquette. Show all posts
Showing posts with label etiquette. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Multitasking! Phone Dates
Last night I called my mom on the way home through the blue tooth in the car. I called my Grandmother through my earbuds on a walk with the dog (in the snow!). I called back a friend while I was in the bathtub.
Multitasking!
My friend and I took a brief hiatus on our phone call so that I could get out of the tub and so that she could check out at the store, but we then continued our call while she was driving home and I was cooking dinner.
Multi-freakin'-tasking!
It was so nice to catch up with family and friends while doing other things. Don't get me wrong, I love all of these people dearly, but I cannot stand being on the phone. It's my least favorite form of communication. I'd take in-person, texting, letter writing, etc. over the phone.
In fact, I hate the phone so much that I usually put off calling people until I am forced to. Or until I have a few minutes alone where I can't do anything else (yesterday's commute home, for example). This explains why I did all of my phone conversing at once. Getting two hours of phone chatting out of the way while driving, walking the dog, bathing and cooking was excellent.
Multitasking!
Multitasking!
My friend and I took a brief hiatus on our phone call so that I could get out of the tub and so that she could check out at the store, but we then continued our call while she was driving home and I was cooking dinner.
Multi-freakin'-tasking!
It was so nice to catch up with family and friends while doing other things. Don't get me wrong, I love all of these people dearly, but I cannot stand being on the phone. It's my least favorite form of communication. I'd take in-person, texting, letter writing, etc. over the phone.
In fact, I hate the phone so much that I usually put off calling people until I am forced to. Or until I have a few minutes alone where I can't do anything else (yesterday's commute home, for example). This explains why I did all of my phone conversing at once. Getting two hours of phone chatting out of the way while driving, walking the dog, bathing and cooking was excellent.
Multitasking!
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Tipsy Tuesday: How to get pit stains out of shirts
A 1:1 ratio of peroxide and Dawn with a bit of baking soda for abrasion. I've heard from more than one person that Dawn is the best brand of soap for this type of job because it is a grease-cutter. Even my jeweler said I should use Dawn to clean my engagement ring. (Either good marketing, or a darn good product!)
I have use this solution twice on a batch of 4 or 5 shirts each time and it works.
I mixed the liquids together in a wide dish and then dip a scrub brush in the mixture. I pour a bit of baking soda right on the affected area and then bring the wet scrub brush to the cloth and scrub, scrub, scrub.
| The tools (Minus the scrub brush. I used one with handle like the kind you might use to clean a shower.) |
| Pre-scrub shirt |
The stain may dissipate some while you are scrubbing, but it will fade even more if you let it soak for a few minutes and then run it through a normal wash cycle. If the stain has not faded after the wash, don't put it in the dryer (that will set the stain further). Scrub it again with the mixture and then run it though a second time. I got all of my shirts clean and stain-free in 2 scrub/washes or less!
My dad also informs me that peroxide and Dawn are good for getting skunk smell out of hunting dogs :) I guess this is the miracle mixture!
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Trust me, you'd rather me watch Downton.
On my sick day (and over the weekend while Mr. S was working), I watched some of season 2 of Downton Abbey. Love the costumes, love the dialogue, love the imperfect characters, love the recaps that this other Jenny blogger used to do (note: often lewd, always funny).
After immersing myself in a few hours of early 1900s, WWI English countryside and manor-life, I found it a bit hard to disembark from the fantasy.
And Mr. S found himself being scolded for this "decorum" (i.e. slurping his spaghetti).
He rightly saw the turn in manners and verbosity as a direct manifestation of my love for all things Grantham and Crawley. Saying thusly ('round a mouthful of noodles), "You aren't allowed to watch Downton Abbey anymore."
Preposterous!
If I talked like the other shows/movies I liked, he'd have to deal with:
Steel Magnolias-talk
If you dontta stop slurppin' that spaghetti, momma's gonna hog tie you to Miss 'Ouisa after she's had bottle of Wild Turkey.
Golden Girls-talk
Back in St. Olaf, if you got caught chewing with your mouth open, they'd make you eat hot herring for a week. The only thing worse than cold herring is hot herring.
Always Sunny-talk
The next time you hover over that bowl like a *od-*amn trash vac, I'll shove your face in those noodles til you drown. You're giving me visions of drowning you. Like Frank trying to grab a greased watermelon in the community pool.
The last one might be a stretch, but you get the idea.
My advice to you is to let sleeping dogs lie. Specifically, Pharaoh, the yellow lab who lives at Downton.
After immersing myself in a few hours of early 1900s, WWI English countryside and manor-life, I found it a bit hard to disembark from the fantasy.
And Mr. S found himself being scolded for this "decorum" (i.e. slurping his spaghetti).
He rightly saw the turn in manners and verbosity as a direct manifestation of my love for all things Grantham and Crawley. Saying thusly ('round a mouthful of noodles), "You aren't allowed to watch Downton Abbey anymore."
Preposterous!
If I talked like the other shows/movies I liked, he'd have to deal with:
Steel Magnolias-talk
If you dontta stop slurppin' that spaghetti, momma's gonna hog tie you to Miss 'Ouisa after she's had bottle of Wild Turkey.
Golden Girls-talk
Back in St. Olaf, if you got caught chewing with your mouth open, they'd make you eat hot herring for a week. The only thing worse than cold herring is hot herring.
Always Sunny-talk
The next time you hover over that bowl like a *od-*amn trash vac, I'll shove your face in those noodles til you drown. You're giving me visions of drowning you. Like Frank trying to grab a greased watermelon in the community pool.
The last one might be a stretch, but you get the idea.
My advice to you is to let sleeping dogs lie. Specifically, Pharaoh, the yellow lab who lives at Downton.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Let the Personal Integration Begin!
Dear Diary,
If I am going to integrate my blogs and only have one of them on which to dump my brain, you'll have to be prepared for posts like this -
1) Coffee on the porch this past weekend at 7 AM, before the day got really hot. I'm reading my kindle touch. It was a birthday present. And the coffee is decaf french press. Decaf because that's what I have and honestly I don't drink as much caffeine as I used to. It's nice to know I am not dependent on it.
(Advice: Break habits or addictions when you can. Prove to yourself you are flexible.)
Beverage Pairing: Coffee, decaf.
2) Pasta salad (made by me) on a bed of organic spinach (grown by the neighbors - thanks Bob and Josie!). Their little daughter brought it up to me to share. I asked her if she like spinach and she said no. I assumed I'm getting her 2nd choice, but I'm not mad.
(Advice: Eat your greens. Or eat someone else's greens.)
Bev Pair: Green juice, like Naked's Green Machine.
3) I wore a fishtail braid yesterday. This is my first time wearing one and doing it myself!
(Advice: Get out of your hair rut by trying a new style before you cut it all off.)
Bev Pair: Water. Hydrate and your hair and skin will thank you.
4) I went to Home Depot yesterday to get some plant supplies. I love their garden section. It feels like a cheap thrill to walk around in the pallets of pansies. I texted a bit with my brother who is a landscape expert to get some free advice :) I bought:
- spikes and twine to hold up my tomato plants
- pots to re-pot a hosta
- marigolds to ward off bugs from my other plants (the poor massacred lettuce!)
- a succulent for my desk at work
(Advice: Take time to stop and smell the roses. Even if they are Home Depot roses.)
Bev Pair: Lemonade. I saw a lemon tree at the Home Deep and wanted to buy it badly.
5) I wore a suit today (am still wearing it) because it was our company's annual meeting. Yes, the suit is cream. I feel like I'm in a 70's movie or I'm Chloe Sevigny.
(Advice: Always dress over the occasion slightly if you are are unaware of the protocol.)
Bev Pair: White wine. Don't you dare spill on that lovely white suit!
If I am going to integrate my blogs and only have one of them on which to dump my brain, you'll have to be prepared for posts like this -
1) Coffee on the porch this past weekend at 7 AM, before the day got really hot. I'm reading my kindle touch. It was a birthday present. And the coffee is decaf french press. Decaf because that's what I have and honestly I don't drink as much caffeine as I used to. It's nice to know I am not dependent on it.
(Advice: Break habits or addictions when you can. Prove to yourself you are flexible.)
Beverage Pairing: Coffee, decaf.
2) Pasta salad (made by me) on a bed of organic spinach (grown by the neighbors - thanks Bob and Josie!). Their little daughter brought it up to me to share. I asked her if she like spinach and she said no. I assumed I'm getting her 2nd choice, but I'm not mad.
(Advice: Eat your greens. Or eat someone else's greens.)
Bev Pair: Green juice, like Naked's Green Machine.
3) I wore a fishtail braid yesterday. This is my first time wearing one and doing it myself!
(Advice: Get out of your hair rut by trying a new style before you cut it all off.)
Bev Pair: Water. Hydrate and your hair and skin will thank you.
4) I went to Home Depot yesterday to get some plant supplies. I love their garden section. It feels like a cheap thrill to walk around in the pallets of pansies. I texted a bit with my brother who is a landscape expert to get some free advice :) I bought:
- spikes and twine to hold up my tomato plants
- pots to re-pot a hosta
- marigolds to ward off bugs from my other plants (the poor massacred lettuce!)
- a succulent for my desk at work
(Advice: Take time to stop and smell the roses. Even if they are Home Depot roses.)
Bev Pair: Lemonade. I saw a lemon tree at the Home Deep and wanted to buy it badly.
5) I wore a suit today (am still wearing it) because it was our company's annual meeting. Yes, the suit is cream. I feel like I'm in a 70's movie or I'm Chloe Sevigny.
(Advice: Always dress over the occasion slightly if you are are unaware of the protocol.)
Bev Pair: White wine. Don't you dare spill on that lovely white suit!
all pics are mine except this one.
Get ready for more integration, Diary.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Leave it to the paper company to suggest the Thank You note.
Some good rules for business etiquette. I agree with them all. I find etiquette so interesting and sort of a lost art.
1. Send a Thank You Note
I work at a paper company that manufactures stationery and I'm shocked at how infrequently people send thank you notes after interviewing with me. If you're not sending a follow-up thank you note to Crane, you're not sending it anywhere.
But the art of the thank you note should never die. If you have a job interview, or if you're visiting clients or meeting new business partners—especially if you want the job, or the contract or deal—take the time to write a note. You'll differentiate yourself by doing so and it will reflect well on your company too.
2. Know the Names
It's just as important to know your peers or employees as it is to develop relationships with clients, vendors or management. Reach out to people in your company, regardless of their roles, and acknowledge what they do.
My great-grandfather ran a large manufacturing plant. He would take his daughter (my grandmother) through the plant; she recalled that he knew everyone's name—his deputy, his workers, and the man who took out the trash.
We spend too much of our time these days looking up – impressing senior management. But it's worth stepping back and acknowledging and getting to know all of the integral people who work hard to make your business run.
3. Observe the 'Elevator Rule'
When meeting with clients or potential business partners off-site, don't discuss your impressions of the meeting with your colleagues until the elevator has reached the bottom floor and you're walking out of the building. That's true even if you're the only ones in the elevator.
Call it superstitious or call it polite—but either way, don't risk damaging your reputation by rehashing the conversation as soon as you walk away.
4. Focus on the Face, Not the Screen
It's hard not to be distracted these days. We have a plethora of devices to keep us occupied; emails and phone calls come through at all hours; and we all think we have to multitask to feel efficient and productive.
But that's not true: When you're in a meeting or listening to someone speak, turn off the phone. Don't check your email. Pay attention and be present.
When I worked in news, everyone was attached to a BlackBerry, constantly checking the influx of alerts. But my executive producer rarely used hers—and for this reason, she stood out. She was present and was never distracted in editorial meetings or discussions with the staff. And it didn't make her any less of a success.
5. Don't Judge
We all have our vices—and we all have room for improvement. One of the most important parts of modern-day etiquette is not to criticize others.
You may disagree with how another person handles a specific situation, but rise above and recognize that everyone is trying their best. It's not your duty to judge others based on what you feel is right. You are only responsible for yourself.
We live in a world where both people and businesses are concerned about brand awareness. Individuals want to stand out and be liked and accepted by their peers--both socially and professionally.
The digital landscape has made it even more difficult to know whether or not you're crossing a line, but I think it's simple. Etiquette is positive. It's a way of being—not a set of rules or dos and don'ts.
So before you create that hashtag, post on someone's Facebook page or text someone mid-meeting, remember the fundamentals: Will this make someone feel good?
And remember the elemental act of putting pen to paper and writing a note. You'll make a lasting impression that a shout-out on Twitter or a Facebook wall mention can't even touch.
Do you like etiquette? Do you find it out-dated?
See the full article here.
Monday, January 9, 2012
You're Invited! [to pay]
Ever been invited to someone's house and asked to pay for part of your stay/entertainment/food?
It's happened more than once this winter season - to me and others - so I thought it was a worthy blog topic.
Whether the hosts are inviting you for dinner or for the weekend, you should never be required to pay for things. Of course, a courteous guest always offers to pick up lunch or brings fresh flowers, local cheese or a fun wine. But the host should never require for the guest to pay for things. Ever.
If you are hosting a large meal and want to spread the burden of the cost evenly, make it a potluck. That way, people can choose to spend $2 on rice or $50 on a cheese tray.
If you want to cook the whole thing yourself, stick to your menu and stick to your budget. Don't overdo it in the cash department just to impress people. I can't tell you how many times a roast chicken (feeds 4 with sides) for under $8 has wowed people.
If you want to host a party to collect money for a cause, suggest a donation amount, but leave room for people to be more generous or conservative. Your guests may surprise you.
If you want to give out party favors, don't require that the guests pay for those either. If you can't afford to give party gifts, don't give 'em. People should be happy just to hang out with you, right?
I understand that you may be required to pay for your parking outside of their home (most people are on their own when it comes to that in my area because we live so close to public transit stops that people could get there for $2.25 if they choose.), but once they are in your house, you pick up the tab.
It's perfectly acceptable to go out to eat in a group and ask that the tab be split, but be kind and let your friends know ahead of time that that's the arrangement. You don't have to outright tell them they have to pay; you can suggest it in a way that makes them feel like they are part of the decision: "Hey, S and I were thinking that if we went to tapas, we could share the pitchers of sangria, the cured meats and the tab. That way, we can afford to taste more things!"
Bottom line: If you cannot afford to pay for the entire meal(s) when you host (and afford the water bill of their showers and linen laundry), then don't host.
Although people may reserve the right to do things their way in their home, you also reserve the right not to come :) Enjoy.
It's happened more than once this winter season - to me and others - so I thought it was a worthy blog topic.
Whether the hosts are inviting you for dinner or for the weekend, you should never be required to pay for things. Of course, a courteous guest always offers to pick up lunch or brings fresh flowers, local cheese or a fun wine. But the host should never require for the guest to pay for things. Ever.
If you want to cook the whole thing yourself, stick to your menu and stick to your budget. Don't overdo it in the cash department just to impress people. I can't tell you how many times a roast chicken (feeds 4 with sides) for under $8 has wowed people.
If you want to host a party to collect money for a cause, suggest a donation amount, but leave room for people to be more generous or conservative. Your guests may surprise you.
If you want to give out party favors, don't require that the guests pay for those either. If you can't afford to give party gifts, don't give 'em. People should be happy just to hang out with you, right?
I understand that you may be required to pay for your parking outside of their home (most people are on their own when it comes to that in my area because we live so close to public transit stops that people could get there for $2.25 if they choose.), but once they are in your house, you pick up the tab.
Bottom line: If you cannot afford to pay for the entire meal(s) when you host (and afford the water bill of their showers and linen laundry), then don't host.
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