Hosting A Salon

Does that sound as pretentious as I think it does?

I've been a part of some groups in the past that are all now defunct. Book clubs, Bible studies, service organizations. I always find good friends that way and it's one way I acclimate to a new city whenever I move.

I'm not planning on moving anytime soon, but some of my friends are or have already. Or their having babies. Or their diving into other groups I can't/won't join (hello marathon preppers!). I find myself craving the intellectual and emotional connection with peers that comes from regular, structured interaction.

So I've toyed with the idea of hosting a regular salon.

Salon: a gathering of people under the roof of an inspiring host, held partly to amuse one another and partly to refine the taste and increase the knowledge of the participants through conversation.

I'd make dinner for people once a month or once a quarter (seasonal dinners sound fun to me). I'd have vegan options and wheat-free options and low-sugar options for all diets. Think big pot of vegetable soup with toppings to personalize. Think soup kitchen for the vocal, educated, opinionated non-homeless.*

We'd either email the topic ahead of time or have a few news articles out on the table or a youtube video cued up to start the conversation. We'd have ground rules to make sure no one got too heated:

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Or we could make sure that all insults are dished out Martin Luther style.

And over paninis and crudite, we'd discuss music and current events and historical trends!

Or we'd end up inciting a riot, alienating our friends and having to freeze-n-heat 20 lbs of vegetable soup. 

Thoughts?

*Dear Lord this is pretentious!

The Hardest Part is Unwrapping the Rolos

My sister gave me this idea and has used it at many of her parties. They are so simple and so satisfying for a sweet and salty combo. And just like "Combos" there is a pretzel involved!

Smoosh 'em down when their warm. Easy peasy.

Flip-It Friday: Knock Knock, Who's There? Yucca. Yucca who? Yucca'd open the door!

First of all, I'd like to say that my 'rents are coming to see my new house for the first time this weekend (woo-hoo!), so my "How to Be a Good House Guest" post might have seemed timed for them... 'twasn't. Sorry Mom and Dad! You have no obligations as my house guest, but I do hear you are bringing me a Wandering Jew or a Yucca Plant... both sound like the most hilarious plants ever! Bring. Em. On!

Bhahaha... wandering Jew... I love this manual about How to Care For Wandering Jews... Do they make Kosher Miracle Grow?

There's another layer of joking in there about "Miracle Grow", but I just don't know if my audience can take it. 

Meanwhile

What's a Yucca?

I dunno, what's a Yucca with you?

[crickets]

A Yucca plant doesn't make for such good joking. Change Yucca to Yucky and you've got it made, but it's not a smooth transition. 

I swear on my wandering Jew that my mom totally called me about plants last night. 

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For this Flip-It Friday I want ya'll to write me a Yucca joke. Or a yucky joke. Or a wandering Jew joke. But make it nice. We all like Jews here - the plants and the people. 

Thoughtful Thursday: On Being an Overnight Guest

Apartment Therapy had some good tips on being an overnight guest.

Make your plans clear: This may seem obvious, but our third roommate, as we came to refer to him, didn't clue us in on any of his plans for coming and going until he was en route, and he also didn't let us in on his date of departure. Don't keep your host guessing — be clear about your plans.

Keep your belongings tidy: Staying in a spare bedroom allows for more flexibility, but generally speaking, make your bed/fold your blankets, and put your belongings in one organized, out of the way pile .

Take initiative: One of the redeeming moments we experienced was when our guest took it upon himself to take out the kitchen trash. If you're living with others and contributing to the mess you too, should help out with the house chores.

Don't be a mooch: One of the less redeeming qualities of our house guest was his ability to show up right at dinner time. I found myself dividing our dinner for two between three people. The first time I didn't mind, the second time I was annoyed.

Leave a small gift: It's always a nice gesture to leave a gift. If you're enjoying a meal with your host, wine is an easy way to go. If you're just sleeping there it would be appropriate to leave something at the end of your stay. (J.Mill's note: Totally optional)

I love hosting and want people to feel comfortable in my home. I'll spend a pretty penny on fancy food to feed you, wait on you hand and food for drinks, linens, snacks, "how do I turn the shower on" instructions. I'll stay up late with your chatting or let you turn in earlier than expected. I also love it when people show courtesy and are genuinely thankful to stay with us. 

Some additions I would make:

• Be on-time. If we are expecting you for dinner, be there for dinner. Or at least keep us posted if you are going to be late.

• If you are going out late (we live in the city but are old - and I'm cranky - and sometimes don't go out with our 22 year old guests), be sure to know how to use spare keys so we don't get woken up in the middle of the night to let you in.

• Abide by house rules. The Mr. has 2 cats that we don't let into spare rooms so we can keep them allergen free for guests and don't have to vacuum empty rooms as frequently. If you want to snuggle with a kitty while you sleep, sleep on the couch where they can be all up in your business. Don't make me sanitize more than I have to.

• Be quiet. We live in a condo building and if you stomp around, play music loudly or laugh like a hyena after too much wine, you may be putting us in jeopardy with the neighbors. We're already painful neighbors as it is :)

I know lately I may not be so hospitable. If you are still interested in being a house guest while I'm a depressed fire-breathing reptile, kudos!

Tipsy Tuesday: "So I hear you can't eat anything" follow up

"So I hear you can't eat anything" Flip-It Friday edition didn't get much (*cough - not any) response, so I had to do some Googling and Pinteresting to figure out what to make my diet-restricted friends for my tea party.

I made:

Vegan orange scones with a tea glaze. They were made with fresh orange juice, orange zest and some virgin coconut oil. 

I am skeptical that they will taste ok, but enjoyed the challenge. I'm also making some vegan pasta salad to appease the sensitives stomachs. The rest of the items will have dairy or meat in them. My gluten-free friend is unable to attend so I didn't have to accommodate that (although I was prepared to!). 

So there you have it. That's what you serve for a diet sensitive tea party!

Now that I've called you all out for not sharing ideas on the Flip-It Friday for this post, anyone care to share?

As for the beverage selection for this post? Obviously you could use Orange Spice tea, like the specialty tea I used to make the glaze for these scones. Or you could give up and have a beer. Make sure your beer is served out of a glass bottle so that you aren't ingesting as many BPA chemicals. We watched this documentary today and wowser, plastic is amazing and sometimes scary. 

You're Invited! [to pay]

Ever been invited to someone's house and asked to pay for part of your stay/entertainment/food?

It's happened more than once this winter season - to me and others - so I thought it was a worthy blog topic.

Whether the hosts are inviting you for dinner or for the weekend, you should never be required to pay for things. Of course, a courteous guest always offers to pick up lunch or brings fresh flowers, local cheese or a fun wine. But the host should never require for the guest to pay for things. Ever.

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If you are hosting a large meal and want to spread the burden of the cost evenly, make it a potluck. That way, people can choose to spend $2 on rice or $50 on a cheese tray.

If you want to cook the whole thing yourself, stick to your menu and stick to your budget. Don't overdo it in the cash department just to impress people. I can't tell you how many times a roast chicken (feeds 4 with sides) for under $8 has wowed people.

If you want to host a party to collect money for a cause, suggest a donation amount, but leave room for people to be more generous or conservative. Your guests may surprise you.

If you want to give out party favors, don't require that the guests pay for those either. If you can't afford to give party gifts, don't give 'em. People should be happy just to hang out with you, right?

I understand that you may be required to pay for your parking outside of their home (most people are on their own when it comes to that in my area because we live so close to public transit stops that people could get there for $2.25 if they choose.), but once they are in your house, you pick up the tab.

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It's perfectly acceptable to go out to eat in a group and ask that the tab be split, but be kind and let your friends know ahead of time that that's the arrangement. You don't have to outright tell them they have to pay; you can suggest it in a way that makes them feel like they are part of the decision: "Hey, S and I were thinking that if we went to tapas, we could share the pitchers of sangria, the cured meats and the tab. That way, we can afford to taste more things!"

Bottom line: If you cannot afford to pay for the entire meal(s) when you host (and afford the water bill of their showers and linen laundry), then don't host.

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Although people may reserve the right to do things their way in their home, you also reserve the right not to come :) Enjoy.

What Can I Bring?

When invited to a dinner party it's polite to ask, "What can I bring?" Gifts can be food and related to the meal or they can be objects and related to the host or the home. So, what do you bring?

1) What if they said: Just bring yourself!

If the host protests that you needn't bring anything, you can still knock their socks off and show up with flowers, a bottle of wine, or some dessert. Caution: if you bring dessert, bring candy or something single-serve and pre-wrapped. The host may have already accounted for dessert and you don't want to outshine their baking or make more dirty dishes.

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2) What if they are allergic to traditional gifts?

Keep allergies in mind as well. Are they allergic to flowers? Bring fresh herbs from your garden. Are they off sugar? Bring cheese. Lactose intollerant? Bring candy but be sure to read the label to avoid dairy products.

Candy Cane Marshmallows!

3) What if there are restrictions related to their home?

Also consider the state of their house. Do they live in rented housing that doesn't allow for candles (a dorm, I guess)? You can get flameless candles, scented room oils, or a bag of gourmet pretzels. Are they pack-rats who don't need one more thing? Bring consumables and eat them while you're there or just help with the dishes after the meal :)

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4) What if you're strapped for cash but don't want to show up empty handed?

Bring a note. Either write it beforehand or during the party while they're distracted and leave it in their mailbox on the way out, on the bathroom sink before you leave (I've done this one!), or somewhere conspicuous. They'll love the double thank you that they get - verbally and written.

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Of course not all hosts need/want/expect a gift. Chances are when they said that they are happy to have you - with or without the bottle of wine - they aren't lying. Be on time, wipe your feet and compliment the chef. Just being a good guest will get you invited back!

Tipsy Tuesday - Er Wednesday: Host a Throwback Thanksgiving

I'm hosting Thanksgiving for the first time this year! Eeep! (I told S that I'm already having undercooked-turkey/had-to-get-food-from-Boston-Market-at-the-last-minute-and-everyone-was-disappointed/shame-on-me nightmares.)

To keep put my own twist on the festivities, I'd like to keep them socially and ethically minded. No big box store turkey for me! I placed my order at my local butcher for a 14 pound beauty. I'm buying only enough decor to keep the traditionalist happy and there WILL be candles and a fire in the fireplace and the fire will be for warmth and ambiance. (S and I have only recently turned the heat on. And if you don't think that's a big deal, it's November in Chicago. Hello, Minnesota. I know you feel me.)

Oh, and we are inviting more than family to the meal. In keeping with the unity at the first Thanksgiving, S and I invited a foreign student who's away from her family and husband for years - including Thanksgiving - while in school. They're in Singapore, she's here. Le sigh. I hope she attends.

More tips on a real Thanksgiving here. And read more about how to have a really real Thanksgiving here (Oysters and goose anyone? And can you believe the effect one woman writer/editor had on the history of this holiday?)

Picture of the "First Thanksgiving" via Unusual Cards by way of ionlylikemonsters.

Drink pairing: Candied Pumpkin Martini with leftover candy corn from Halloween.

Soak candy corn in vodka until dissolved. Not sure if you're supposed to dissolve it, but I did and we just went with it. In a shaker: candy vodka, pumpkin spice coffee creamer, touch of honey, ice. Shakie Shakie. Strain into a martini glass that's been swirled with a stream of honey. Top with seltzer water or milk, depending on if you have milk (we didn't) or if you want to cut the creaminess (we did).

Flip-It Friday: May I Get You Something to Drink?

Since switching from Ten Tips Tuesday to Tipsy Tuesday, I've wondered more about beverages. Whether you enjoy a cocktail or a mocktail, I'm sure every one of my readers has a go-to drink. Something you make for friends? Something that you look forward to after a long day? Something that perks you up in the morning? A traditional bev around the holidays?

Surprisingly, I grew up in a household that wasn't interested in alcohol for the majority of my upbringing. My dad doesn't drink and my mom has a glass of wine or beer occassionally. We had "kids wine" (read: sparkling grape juice) on Thanksgiving and New Years.

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I guess they kept the stuff out of the house for good reason, because all of their kids have grown up to enjoy a variety of cocktails (in moderation, of course!... unless we've had "bad Mexican" food, and then we cannot be held accountable for our digestive revolt!).

You've seen my staples in this blog: french press black coffee, red wine, and the mojito.

I love to serve a beverage when someone comes into my house - even if it's just a glass of water - for many reasons:

- It's a conversation piece (Oh, this cocktail with maple syrup is delicious... haha)
- It's an icebreaker (sometimes literally)
- It's a show of hospitality
- It gives you something to do while in the kitchen (because somehow, we always end up in the kitchen, right?)
- I like holding a glass in my hands as a "prop", especially when I'm in a new place
- I'm generally parched. Ask S. I leave glasses around the house like Gretel left breadcrumbs. It's a bit like the movie Signs.

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So I ask, what's your go-to for guests?
What do you have every day?
What do you keep stocked in your bar or fridge?