You're Invited! [to pay]

Ever been invited to someone's house and asked to pay for part of your stay/entertainment/food?

It's happened more than once this winter season - to me and others - so I thought it was a worthy blog topic.

Whether the hosts are inviting you for dinner or for the weekend, you should never be required to pay for things. Of course, a courteous guest always offers to pick up lunch or brings fresh flowers, local cheese or a fun wine. But the host should never require for the guest to pay for things. Ever.

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If you are hosting a large meal and want to spread the burden of the cost evenly, make it a potluck. That way, people can choose to spend $2 on rice or $50 on a cheese tray.

If you want to cook the whole thing yourself, stick to your menu and stick to your budget. Don't overdo it in the cash department just to impress people. I can't tell you how many times a roast chicken (feeds 4 with sides) for under $8 has wowed people.

If you want to host a party to collect money for a cause, suggest a donation amount, but leave room for people to be more generous or conservative. Your guests may surprise you.

If you want to give out party favors, don't require that the guests pay for those either. If you can't afford to give party gifts, don't give 'em. People should be happy just to hang out with you, right?

I understand that you may be required to pay for your parking outside of their home (most people are on their own when it comes to that in my area because we live so close to public transit stops that people could get there for $2.25 if they choose.), but once they are in your house, you pick up the tab.

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It's perfectly acceptable to go out to eat in a group and ask that the tab be split, but be kind and let your friends know ahead of time that that's the arrangement. You don't have to outright tell them they have to pay; you can suggest it in a way that makes them feel like they are part of the decision: "Hey, S and I were thinking that if we went to tapas, we could share the pitchers of sangria, the cured meats and the tab. That way, we can afford to taste more things!"

Bottom line: If you cannot afford to pay for the entire meal(s) when you host (and afford the water bill of their showers and linen laundry), then don't host.

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Although people may reserve the right to do things their way in their home, you also reserve the right not to come :) Enjoy.