Flip-It Friday: At What Age Did You Become Yourself?

THIS.

Every since I was a baby I wanted no one's help. 

STAHPIT was my first word. (As in, "Stop trying to help me" ... or maybe, "Stop touching me.")

Either way I was hopelessly I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T:

"She cook, she clean, never smell like onion rings"

(This video is hilarious and I don't know why. Maybe it's how censored it is.)

So one day I decided I didn't need help dressing myself. 

I got out everything red I had and put it all on at once. 

My debut elicited laughter and I went straight back into my room to pout.

Now I realize that that was my true self. 

Hopelessly independent and critically susceptible to public opinion. 

When did you realize your true self? 

I always imaged it was around the 4th or 5th grade, but maybe I'm just projecting my own experience on everyone. Something about being old enough to think for yourself but young enough to make bold statements. 

Math, Math, Math ... Elvira!

I belong to flash sale sites like Fab.com, Ideeli, Rue La La, Jetsetter, Groupon, Joss and Main, etc.

And have logins to other favorite online stores like ASOS, ShopRuche, Everlane, etc.

I occasionally click on the email promptings or log on to see how I can spend my money.

I need a lot of things:

reliable winter tights
a rug for our living room
a trip somewhere tropical in February
a chandelier for our dinning room
scented candles for housewarming gifts
sweaters that pair well with button downs
comfortable flats for the office

Did I say need? I mean, first-world-need/want.

Thankfully I get overwhelmed when I have two things in my cart and end up closing the browser window in a panic.

Was I really about to spend $100 on 2 sweaters?

I know that this is a lot of money to some and not so much money to others. For sweaters anyway.

The past few clothing purchases I've made have been hit-or-miss in satisfaction. I even find that the more I weed my closet of the unwearables, the easier it is to get dressed.

You have one pair of black pants and 4 sweaters that look good with those pants and 2 pairs of shoes that hit the hemline just-so, so you only have ... math, math, math ... 8 options for an outfit. Easy!

But you know what I have no problem spending money on? Others who really need it.

I love to love people with my credit card. And I can't tell if that statement is endearing or sad.

So when I got an email prompting from Kiva this morning, I click-clicked through to find Elvira's story and click-clicked to help her buy charcoal to sell.

from Kiva.org

She lives in the Philippines where the average annual salary is $1175. She needs a $400 loan to continue her business (... math, math, math, that's 8 fancy sweaters).

So if you feel like going on a shopping spree to help people all over the world with a lil' micro-lending, check out Kiva. And when you get paid back (and I usually do), you can relend the money for even MORE giving and shopping!


---
I am in no way compensated for this post. I just really love Kiva and believe in their mission. 

WTWTW

What. To. Wear. To. Work.

I used to work in a construction office where I usually wore trousers while the rest of the crew wore jeans or coveralls. I was told I could "dress it down" more if I wanted to. I didn't want to.

Then I worked in a corporate office where my cute gladiator sandals were poo-poo'd on (I was young, so I didn't understand the 40+ common law "thou shalt not show all toes at once").

Now I work in a place where I think my outfitting fits just fine, but where some others (*cough cough* accounting!) could use some reminders.

What you can/should wear in my the office:
Jeans on Fridays
Jerseys if there is an event specifying so
Suits if you choose
Closed toed shoes
Skirts just above the knee or longer
A blazer with clients

What you CAN'T wear in my office (explicit or understood):
Leggings - at all! No matter how long your shirt is/how tall your boots are... even worse in some cases.
Flip-flops
Jeans on any other day than Friday
Jeans when you have a meeting with a client (even if that meeting is on a Friday)
Sandals
Sweatshirts

Is this strict? What are your workplace's policies? Do you wish they were more buttoned-up or laid back?

Last Minute Halloween Costume Advice

All of my inner circle seems to have given up on Halloween just this year.

Last year it was all

"We're going to this club"

or

"There's this house party"

This year? Turn down Monster Mash! We're staying in with the lights off so kids don't come ringing the doorbell!

But for you kids out there who are still hitting up a creepy kegger, I have some ideas.

Julia Child

Scary and funny.

Button down shirt.

Handkerchief scarf or string of pearls.

Apron.

Knife.

Accent.

Stuff a small pillow or extra scarf between your shoulder blades for a slight hunchback. 

Gloria from Modern Family

Source: google.com via Charles on Pinterest

Source: morethanjustanimage.tumblr.com via Hayley on Pinterest

Tight wrap dress 

Hair down 

Lip liner outside the lines of your lips 

Accent 

Pregnancy pillow
Wear the slippers from the episode at the theme park if you want to be lazy

 Possibly get your date to wear a golf polo, grey wig and look disinterested at the whole party

Larry King

Source: Uploaded by user via Daisy on Pinterest

Suspenders

Tie

Glasses

Button down

Shoulderpads

Or you could just dress as you normally would for a night out and claim that you're one of the following after a few drinks:

Miley Cyrus

Source: leis-ure.tumblr.com via Myranda on Pinterest

Lana Del Ray

Source: Uploaded by user via Emilie on Pinterest

Adam Levine

Source: imgfave.com via Allie on Pinterest

Recycling Brigades!

Mr. S said we need to get rid of the pile of corks we've saved. (Why do we save corks anyway, people?)

I saw this site and my eyes lit up when I saw that you can recycle corks here!

and flip flops
and those single-cup coffee pods (they just need these for K-Cups now!)
and toothpaste tubes, toothbrushes, floss and more!

How freaking neat!

The Real Cost of Cheap Fashion

I just read this excerpt of a book on the high cost of cheap fashion. (Of course, NPR... you go, NPR)

Ironically enough, I found in a post from a blog called The Budget Babe. It reminded me of when my friend Makenzie vowed to take a year off from buying new clothing - and she got her mom and sister to join her! They would stick to buying only thrifted clothing or buy from ethical, sustainable sources. (Underwear and socks were the exception.)

I have thought lately about my choices in clothing. My personal budget has an awesome dip in if for the first time in probably a year. I haven't spent my "fun money" because I usually spend it on clothing or shopping for myself and I can't bring myself to buy another shirt or candle. I will even go as far as wandering around a store for 20 minutes carrying a pair of shoes just to put them back and leave the store. I can't do it. I get guilty thinking about where the shoes were made, who made them, how they can possibly be so inexpensive, and, selfishly, if I even really LIKE the shoes or if I'm just looking for the purchase-high.

I really want to read the book by Elizabeth Cline referenced above. Maybe it will spur me forward into ethical clothing choices. Maybe it will give me hope that I won't look like an outdated homeless person if I vow to make better fashion selections - or none at all.

Let the Personal Integration Begin!

Dear Diary,

If I am going to integrate my blogs and only have one of them on which to dump my brain, you'll have to be prepared for posts like this - 

1) Coffee on the porch this past weekend at 7 AM, before the day got really hot. I'm reading my kindle touch. It was a birthday present. And the coffee is decaf french press. Decaf because that's what I have and honestly I don't drink as much caffeine as I used to. It's nice to know I am not dependent on it.
(Advice: Break habits or addictions when you can. Prove to yourself you are flexible.)
Beverage Pairing: Coffee, decaf.

2) Pasta salad (made by me) on a bed of organic spinach (grown by the neighbors - thanks Bob and Josie!). Their little daughter brought it up to me to share. I asked her if she like spinach and she said no. I assumed I'm getting her 2nd choice, but I'm not mad.
(Advice: Eat your greens. Or eat someone else's greens.)
Bev Pair: Green juice, like Naked's Green Machine.

3) I wore a fishtail braid yesterday. This is my first time wearing one and doing it myself!
(Advice: Get out of your hair rut by trying a new style before you cut it all off.)
Bev Pair: Water. Hydrate and your hair and skin will thank you.

4) I went to Home Depot yesterday to get some plant supplies. I love their garden section. It feels like a cheap thrill to walk around in the pallets of pansies. I texted a bit with my brother who is a landscape expert to get some free advice :) I bought:
- spikes and twine to hold up my tomato plants
- pots to re-pot a hosta
- marigolds to ward off bugs from my other plants (the poor massacred lettuce!)
- a succulent for my desk at work
(Advice: Take time to stop and smell the roses. Even if they are Home Depot roses.)
Bev Pair: Lemonade. I saw a lemon tree at the Home Deep and wanted to buy it badly. 

5) I wore a suit today (am still wearing it) because it was our company's annual meeting. Yes, the suit is cream. I feel like I'm in a 70's movie or I'm Chloe Sevigny.
(Advice: Always dress over the occasion slightly if you are are unaware of the protocol.)
Bev Pair: White wine. Don't you dare spill on that lovely white suit!

all pics are mine except this one.

Get ready for more integration, Diary.

Tipsy Tuesday: How to Save on Utilities

We love being thrifty, don't we?

In light of this post by Newlyweds on a Budget, what are your utilities? Do articles like this cause you to look at what you spend on utilities?

What we spend:
Hulu: $8 for extra content and HD (Mr. S likes that)
Netflix: $8 (streaming only)
Cable/Internet bundle: $50 (We'll get a break on this from S's employer for his working from home and it will only be $30!)
Cell phones: $200 (We get reimbursed portions of it as we are the executors of a family plan with several people AND S's job will give us a break on it since he won't opt to get a work phone which will bring this down to $70 for us!)
Gas: $40
Electric: $50

Yikes. That looks like more than I thought when it's all lined up!

Anywho, we've been able to add in some luxuries lately (so thankful for turning the AC on in 90 degree heat!) and have skimped in the past. Here's how we cut corners.

1) No cable. Cable used to leave a big whole in a person's life if they had to give it up. But now that Hulu and Netflix are available, why bother?! The only reason we have it is because it was super cheap with the internet (they're practically giving it away now!).

2) Share internet. If you live in a multi-unit building or even in a close neighborhood,  you can piggyback internet for general web-surfing with no slowing speeds. If you are working from home or running a data center out of your house (ha), then this might not be a good option, but for general email or hulu-ing, this can work. We did this for a while and it worked ok (for only paying $20 a month for our portion).

3) Cell phone family plans. You see those deals all the time to add-a-line to your current plan. If you and a few family members/friends share a plan, you can save a ton of money.

4) Hulu. It's free without HD, and free is pretty affordable! (You can also read. My book club is reading this book. Anyone else read it?)

5) Dress for the weather, not for style. I wear thick hiking socks to bed in the winter and walk around pants-less in the summer. It saves on heating and cooling and I get to use a full range of my wardrobe. Win win! If you're cold in the winter, get a fleece and a blanket. Some people complain that our house is roasting or freezing and to them I say, "I'll change the temp when you agree to pay the bill!" I love the adventure of seeing how little we can pay for energy. I think I'm a masochist!

via

Do you do anything to save on utilities? Do you consider more than just the bottom line when you adjust your habits? We also like feeling that we're saving the environment by sweating in the summer!

Flip-It Friday: What's your shopping style?

S and I went on a mini shopping spree for him at TopShop/TopMan last night. His new job requires fancier clothes than he has, so he needed to spruce up about 5 days worth of work attire. That's a lot of clothing for one man in one shopping trip. More on what we bought, here.

We have different shopping styles, so I know that putting our nose to the grind could be a struggle. I get worn out with all the people early on and he gets worn out with the decisions and walking around. We have to do things quickly and efficiently - "Do you like this shirt? Yes or no!", "Would you wear these pants with those shoes? No? Then don't get either!", "These pants fit perfectly... lets get 3 pairs in different colors!" Bing, bang, boom, we're done.

What's your shopping style? 

Do you make lists and are an in-and-out shopper?
Do you like to browse and could make a day of it?

If the former, how do you make decisions so quickly?
If the latter, how do you keep going after you've seen 100 pairs of navy trousers!? And how do you keep from spending a fortune?

We didn't get this bag, but I really loved it. It came in a weathered green version and a black version too. I liked the green, even if it is a men's bag :)

Flip-It Friday: Double Header

Answer one of the two for today's Flip-It Friday:

A) From my personal blog (are they really separate anymore? who knows.)

 - What is your guilty pleasure TV show? 

or

B) From yesterday's post

- What can you not part with when cleaning out your closet/home even though you know the item is impractical?

Song suggestion: Shake it Out by Florence and The Machine

Beverage pairing: In honor of my tea party tomorrow and cleaning out your closet how about a Peter Pantsless  (or in my family, a Neener Pantsless!). The cocktail is made of dark rum and iced tea. 

via

TreatYoSelf!

Today is a special day. I got, among other things, this awesome swimsuit to Treat Yo (my) Self!

asos.com

Do you treat yourself for your special days? What do you treat yourself to?

I might treat myself to this sweet treat (remember them from Sex and the City?) too!

How to Enter Modern Day Survival Mode/Advice I'm Giving Myself

The modern woman worker adult person sometimes just has to pull up their britches and keep on trucking. We often get overstimulated rather than under and let me tell ya, it's overwhelming.

Survival mode: Being so bogged down with stuff to do that one has to trim the fat in their day and decide what really needs to be done. Out of the options of fight or flight, put up your dukes. 

Some of you might know this as "finals week", "end of the quarter", "the publication goes live in x hours", "grades are due", "the G8 is coming to Chicago", "callbacks" or  "sh*t hit the fan".

All Photos via Pinterest. 

I've been busy lately. I've picked/torn/filed off all of my nails (after just painting them this past weekend!) from writer's block. We've had leftovers for dinner (which usually are only reserved for lunch) even though we have many fresh-meal options. I am only running a fraction of what I aspire to each day.

So how do we survive it all?

Here are my tips for surviving survival mode, keeping your friends/family and not looking homeless while doing it.

Health and Beauty Maintenance

- Stretch your hairstyles. Wash as little as possible and look up fun ways to do a bun to save you time in the morning. Say hello to more sleep.
- Don't get down on yourself if you don't stick to your usual workout routine. As long as you get moving everyday, let that be enough. Sometimes your time cannot be stretched. Let is go and catch up on the treadmill time after your deadline.
- Wear your glasses. Hide the eye-bags.
- Have a week's worth of work outfits ready in case you sleep in. You can still get dressed in the dark/with your eyes closed when you know what pants/shirt/socks go together. Plus, this will keep you from making a game-time decision to put on a "desperation outfit". You know you've had one.
- Keep a pair of nude/black/neutral shoes at your desk. I used to tote my shoes back and forth to work since I use public transit and commute in flats/Merrells Mary Janes. Now I keep all of my non-flashy pumps at work. I have an entire shoe drawer and I'm so lucky to have it.
- Get enough sleep. If you're stuck on a problem, go to bed if you can. Chances are you'll have fresh eyes and a clear head in the morning.

Friend and Family Maintenance

- Think twice before emailing/calling/texting. You're in survival mode and what comes out of your mouth might not be what you really mean. Think things through twice and even ask a 3rd party if what you're saying makes sense. You can always say "I'll get back to you" and think it through when you have a chance to slow down.
- Keep the appointments you've made, but make no more. You don't want to appear anti-social and you also don't want to keep piling on the obligations. Freeze your Calendar.
- Look a week/month ahead to see where birthdays are coming up. Use Facebook or your mom's memory to help you get them all mapped out now. Use an online service to help you send a card - at least - or have your significant other/roommate/mom remind you.

Media Maintenance

- Turn the TV off. Just do it.
- If you are chewing off your fingernails in frustration, try putting on some mellow music. Distract the immediate (medical term, I'm sure) part of your brain so that your deeper conscious can sort through a problem. I guess it works in classrooms too. Might I suggest Ron Pope's "Shoot Out The Lights".
- Close your email, turn off your phone. If you don't need these two things for the task at hand, then they are distractions just laying-in-wait. Give yourself a window of time when you can check them both and then turn them back off/log out.

Head/Heart Maintenance

- Be kind to yourself. Reward yourself for milestones or the job completion. Let yourself have a treat, but be wary about making food a reward. You're not running as much as you should, remember? Choose a low-cal popcorn, one piece of candy, as much sugar-free tea as you like, allow yourself to buy that book on Amazon, spend too much money on a candle at Anthropologie (it smells like "good boy"!), or just take a break and walk around in the fresh air.

Then get back to work.

Ok, long winded. Now you tell me. What do you do when in survival mode?

What to Resolve for NYE

Do you have a new years resolution?

I'm reading that some people are tossing them out of the window and just living 2012 like they did 2011. Fine, fine. But if you're going to change something, why not resolve to change it when you have the support of the world and their resolutions too?

Lost on what to resolve? Here are some strange/sincere/silly suggestions:

- Eat dessert. Whenever it's available.
- Do a walking tour of your hometown or some place familiar.
- Go to bed an hour earlier (or later... but do something awesome with that hour!).
- Pick a new tv series and follow it religiously.
- Immerse yourself in a new author's works and finish the lot of 'em.
- Cook "Around the World" by making a dish a week that represents another country.
- Become a "Yes man", but within reason. Not like Jim Carrey.
- Incorporate a new article of clothing into your regular attire (ponchos, scarves, argyle).
- Give up holding grudges.
- Live on less and save or donate the rest.
- Vow to do one thing that scares you a month (ski, see a movie alone, sing in public)
- If you haven't been in a while, go to the dentist!
- Give up caffeine (or don't, haha!).
- Instead of trying to lose weight, vow to mind portion sizes and keep a food journal.
-  Date wildly in 2012. Whether you have a permanent person to date or whether you are still open to suggestion. If you're shy, ask for phone numbers. If you're used to meeting people at bars, approach someone in an art museum. Walk up to the bassist after a metal show. If you're dating/married don't forget to date that person. Ask them out. Wear perfume. Turn up the charm! [Note: This is not a hint to S. I feel well dated... er, you date me well... er... you know what I mean.]

Maybe my favorite suggestion: Treat Yo Self

Drink pairing? Champagne of course!

Note: I am still not drinking until New Years. I got through the holidays only having 1 beer because I couldn't find an ibuprofen. I think it was a fair trade.

Tipsy Tuesday: Baby It's Cold Outside So Get a Merm.

Chicagoans must have a proper coat (or several) to make it through winter alive. This morning I saw frost on the car windows and thought that now is the time to do the coat post.

I have a merm and I swear by it. Urban dictionary did not help me out on determining what a merm is, or at least backing up my current understanding. (Isn't that why any of us use a dictionary? To back up our own interpretation?

Merm is short for mermaid and can mean a number of terrible things according to urban dictionary. But for the purpose of the coat chat, let's determine that it means a long coat that sorta binds your legs together like a mermaid's tail. Let's now use it in a sentence.

"The woman ran in short steps to catch her train because of her merm."

or

"I can go to the party in this dress without tights because my merm will keep me warm from head to ankle."

Get the picture? Well here's some pictures:

Pea Coats are professional.

via

Capes are classy.

via

But the merms are marvelously mmm-mmm warm.

via

This one could stand to be even longer!

Get the idea? More coat is more warmth.

Drink pairing: Hot cider with cloves and cinnamon. Unprocessed cider, preferably, heated on the stove with some citrus like fresh OJ.

Mo Money Mo Power Mo Pie

If money is power and time is money wouldn't you think the unemployed would hold a LOT of the power?

Wrong.

Money IS power. However fortunate or unfortunate that is.

Think about how you spend your money. (Or see my pie charts here.) But seriously, think about how you spend.

The money you spend votes more than any marks you make in a ballot box.

Like Gavin Degraw's new song? Buy it instead of pirating it.

Think Kanye is an ignorant racist? Pirate instead of buy. (I wouldn't really encourage pirating... or would I?)

Think Southwest is a fair airline? Fly with them instead of giving your business to United leave-you-for-dead-in-a-foreign-country Airlines even if UA gives you points on your credit card.

Think kids in 3rd World Countries shouldn't be put to work at age 5 to making your clothes to support their families? Do like my friends at Retell Retail do and buy used, local, fair trade, organic and/or conflict free.

Think a politician is out of line? Don't feed into their sensation by not watching their debates.

Think before you buy and make every dollar count. Policy isn't made because some big wigs in Washington had their tin-man hearts removed. It's made because we ask for it. We vote for it. We want our cake and we want to eat it too. Educate yourself and make informed decisions. Nothing in this world is free; always look for the total cost of your decision.

Drink pairings? Whatever goes with humble pie. Or a candy-tini made with frangelico, buttershots, amaretto, captain morgan, root beer smirnoff (100 proof - get it), homemade whipped cream from the shaker to top and a butterscotch sucker to garnish. Trust me, you only need one.

This one isn't mine, but mine looked sorta like this. Via Pinterest.com.

Ten Tips Tuesday: How to Effectively Downsize Your Wardrobe without Limiting Your Options

For the Inaugural Ten Tips Tuesday post idea, I thank my friend Sarah!

1) Get rid of anything that doesn't fit. Whether you've gained or lost weight, don't keep things around in hopes (or discouragement) that they might fit again.

2) If you haven't worn it in a year, you probably won't wear it. Save for something special or sentimental like a wedding dress or graduation cap & gown (which you could vacuum seal and put under your bed to save closet space), clothes that are forgotten for a year are usually forgotten forever.

3) You don't need more than 2 pairs of black pants and *at most* 3 pairs of jeans. Get black pants in lengths that work with both heels and flats and jeans that work with both heels and flats. The only reason you'd need 3 pairs of jeans is if you have them in different washes. Getting all of your jeans in dark washes assures that they are both professional and dressy and therefore more versatile.

4) T-shirts. Downsize your t-shirts to just the ones that are from that special concert or the one that is finally broken-in and oh-so-soft. You don't need "Team Building Exercise '99". See Flight of the Conchords below. You won't regret it.


5) Invest in a good blazer. One good blazer can replace 3 ill-fitting blazers, jackets, hoodies (yes, blazers should be comfy) and some of your bulky sweaters.

6) Rid yourself of anything that you haven't had time to take to the tailor/cobbler in the past month. If it doesn't fit/is falling apart and you haven't tried to fix it yet, you're not gonna. I can't tell you through how many moves I've lugged these broken shoes around and it's not worth it.

7) Yellow pit stains (or any stain for that matter)? Don't deny 'em, chuck 'em!

8) We've all got some slippers, jewelry, sweater that is just not quite our style and we keep it around because it's not polite to re-gift. Now is the time to let it be someone else's style. Liberate it!

9) Special occasion dresses. Some girls like to go out and buy a new dress for every wedding/bar mitzvah/company outting anyway. If you buy new for every occasion, then cycle out the old. If you like to recycle (I do), then limit yourself to the perfect LBD (little black dress) and revamp it with accessories and bright heels to switch it up. Guys: pick your one suit or one jacket/pants combo.

10) Keep one purse/shoulder bag at a time. If you're like me, you ditch the old bag when the new one comes along. Either you cycle through your bags seasonally, or you never return to that old one. Either keep 4 seasonal bags in an appropriate size for your lifestyle or just keep the one you currently use until you buy a new one. Promptly toss the old one.

Sometimes we get attached to our stuff. Remember, it's just stuff.

And don't forget to donate your gently used clothes and accessories to a Salvation Army or a Goodwill store to help support organizations that employ people in your community and work towards good causes.

Some other things to do with stuff from your purged closet? Host a clothing swap (my favorite idea!). Give them away to friends. Sell them on eBay or Craigslist.



Picture via. I love that there is someone sitting in a purple dress in the right side of this photo... gotta play dress-up before you through out that bridesmaid dress! And get pictures. Then send them to me. I will blog them. You will be famous. It's that simple!