I would walk 500 miles

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Fantasy Map: Chicago El Overlaid On New York CityA bit of whimsy for you today from Reddit, brought to my attention by Twitter user@GordonWerner. The El has been flipped both horizontally and vertically, then rotated to fit Manhattan’s street grid, but the scaling is totally accurate. It looks like The Loop is placed in the area directly below Central Park. A few things from this: it’s actually kind of scary how well this fits; and it’s astounding just how dense the New York subway’s lines really are (shown here in white).(Source: Reddit)

I WILL walk 500 miles. Over 500 miles (624, to be exact) per year now, just walking to and from the train.

I used to live off of the orange squiggle above (in Chicago), but now will live off of one of the blue squiggles. My walking distance is 2 minutes on the home-side and 5 minutes on the work-side now. It will increase on both ends to 15 minutes on the home-side and 9 minutes on the work-side.

I may not need to run as much now. And I might be able to return to talking on the phone on my way home from work as I will spend more time in fresh, open air instead of cramped on a train.

Be prepared for more 12 minute phone calls, friends and family!

Sometimes I miss the luxury of driving to work.

Listening to the radio.
Putting your heels in the backseat and wearing something comfortable.
Being able to schlep and unlimited amount of bags (gym, lunch, purse, etc.) and not look crazy or take up too many train seats.
Not having to smell other people on the train.
And having private phone conversations.

At least I can talk on the phone now if I need to and I wont feel like a jerk disrupting the peace of the train car.

How do you commute? What do you do on your commutes?

Party on the CTA!

Did you know that you can charter a CTA train? Granted, you can't bring booze along, you can't charter it during rush hour (which would be sweet) and it will cost you at least $1800. But it is interesting!

Flip It Friday: What Grinds Your Gears When You Fly?

I wrote this post a while back (warning: includes sarcasm and hatred of loud crowds!). It was my 2nd most popular post and is about being courteous in public spaces.

Since that was a relative hit, I thought I should get your thoughts on what makes a courteous flight traveler?

Do you go out of your way to be kind to people when you travel (i.e. Tell the flight attendants your needs all at once instead of making them run back and forth for 2 waters, peanuts and an airsick bag.? Do you wear slip on shoes so you don't have to be the one holding up the conveyor belt at either end of security? Do you refuse to fly with your children because you know there is a 95% chance they will scream the whole time?

Are you a total jerk and listen to your music too loudly, talk too much, get drunk before you even get on the plane, get up from your window seat 3x to use the restroom, call the flight attendant over during turbulence to ask a million questions, allow your child to run all over the plane and scream (heck, flying with a kid at all!), take up both armrests, carry-on your upright bass and put it in the seat next to you (totally happened on our flight yesterday), etc.

How courteous are you when you fly?

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S and I had a lovely delayed honeymoon in Napa county wine country. We were gone for 5 days, saw a ton of vineyards, wine-tasted, ate too much, had dessert, spent a day at a spa, walked around charming towns where everyone was so nice, and even got a tour of a castle. It was so fun. I have found my vacation niche: wine-tasting and spas. I plan to post pictures and more information about it on my personal blog soon.

How to Enter Modern Day Survival Mode/Advice I'm Giving Myself

The modern woman worker adult person sometimes just has to pull up their britches and keep on trucking. We often get overstimulated rather than under and let me tell ya, it's overwhelming.

Survival mode: Being so bogged down with stuff to do that one has to trim the fat in their day and decide what really needs to be done. Out of the options of fight or flight, put up your dukes. 

Some of you might know this as "finals week", "end of the quarter", "the publication goes live in x hours", "grades are due", "the G8 is coming to Chicago", "callbacks" or  "sh*t hit the fan".

All Photos via Pinterest. 

I've been busy lately. I've picked/torn/filed off all of my nails (after just painting them this past weekend!) from writer's block. We've had leftovers for dinner (which usually are only reserved for lunch) even though we have many fresh-meal options. I am only running a fraction of what I aspire to each day.

So how do we survive it all?

Here are my tips for surviving survival mode, keeping your friends/family and not looking homeless while doing it.

Health and Beauty Maintenance

- Stretch your hairstyles. Wash as little as possible and look up fun ways to do a bun to save you time in the morning. Say hello to more sleep.
- Don't get down on yourself if you don't stick to your usual workout routine. As long as you get moving everyday, let that be enough. Sometimes your time cannot be stretched. Let is go and catch up on the treadmill time after your deadline.
- Wear your glasses. Hide the eye-bags.
- Have a week's worth of work outfits ready in case you sleep in. You can still get dressed in the dark/with your eyes closed when you know what pants/shirt/socks go together. Plus, this will keep you from making a game-time decision to put on a "desperation outfit". You know you've had one.
- Keep a pair of nude/black/neutral shoes at your desk. I used to tote my shoes back and forth to work since I use public transit and commute in flats/Merrells Mary Janes. Now I keep all of my non-flashy pumps at work. I have an entire shoe drawer and I'm so lucky to have it.
- Get enough sleep. If you're stuck on a problem, go to bed if you can. Chances are you'll have fresh eyes and a clear head in the morning.

Friend and Family Maintenance

- Think twice before emailing/calling/texting. You're in survival mode and what comes out of your mouth might not be what you really mean. Think things through twice and even ask a 3rd party if what you're saying makes sense. You can always say "I'll get back to you" and think it through when you have a chance to slow down.
- Keep the appointments you've made, but make no more. You don't want to appear anti-social and you also don't want to keep piling on the obligations. Freeze your Calendar.
- Look a week/month ahead to see where birthdays are coming up. Use Facebook or your mom's memory to help you get them all mapped out now. Use an online service to help you send a card - at least - or have your significant other/roommate/mom remind you.

Media Maintenance

- Turn the TV off. Just do it.
- If you are chewing off your fingernails in frustration, try putting on some mellow music. Distract the immediate (medical term, I'm sure) part of your brain so that your deeper conscious can sort through a problem. I guess it works in classrooms too. Might I suggest Ron Pope's "Shoot Out The Lights".
- Close your email, turn off your phone. If you don't need these two things for the task at hand, then they are distractions just laying-in-wait. Give yourself a window of time when you can check them both and then turn them back off/log out.

Head/Heart Maintenance

- Be kind to yourself. Reward yourself for milestones or the job completion. Let yourself have a treat, but be wary about making food a reward. You're not running as much as you should, remember? Choose a low-cal popcorn, one piece of candy, as much sugar-free tea as you like, allow yourself to buy that book on Amazon, spend too much money on a candle at Anthropologie (it smells like "good boy"!), or just take a break and walk around in the fresh air.

Then get back to work.

Ok, long winded. Now you tell me. What do you do when in survival mode?

Flip-It Friday: Walk It Off

Do you walk up/down escalators?

I certainly do and I feel like it's rude to stand on them if you can physically afford to walk. I feel like there's no reason to be so lazy, not burn the calories, and hold everyone up behind you.

Below is a funny flow chart from I Love Charts about how to decide if you should walk on an escalator.

Does this change your mind? Does it reinforce what you think?

Tipsy Tuesday: Are You the Sand or the Pearl?

This morning on my CTA commute in to The Loop and back out the other side, I sat next to a woman who shook my world at 7:30 AM.

She said, "Good morning", after I made her move so I could sit down.

To be brutally honest (and brutal only to myself for even thinking the way I do), I often hold my conversational breath and try not to stare when riding this certain train. It brings people from the deep south side of Chicago into the city and runs through The Loop to service some of Chicago's worst neighborhoods on its way to a nearby suburb. (Don't worry, Mom, I get off the train before it hits the bad 'hoods.)

This part of my commute is rarely quiet, full of single moms with too many babies and too few hands, men on cell phones yelling expletives too loudly for the morning hours (as if there's ever a good time to do that publicly), large women taking up 2 seats each and talking at (not to, but at) one another from across the train, and not to mention the headphones that ironically share unwelcomed music-for-one in the form of rap-crap and someone's basement acoustics.

So when this woman greeted me kindly and then went back to reading her book, I was startled and then wary that she might try to talk to me. I like my commutes like I like my sleep - cool, quiet and comfortable (and I'd add clean, but that's not a CTA priority... although I did see someone Cloroxing the turnstiles once!).

The woman went back to reading her book but then muttered in my direction 4 stops later, "Excuse me?" Good gravy, I thought. It starts.

"Do you know what this word means?" She pointed at the page and mispronounced it, stuttering.

A quick panic washed over me. This is every writer's/literary's test. Put your grammar, language and vocabulary skills to test in the real world! Oh glory be, I should get this right. I had to think about it, but was able to come up with the correct pronunciation and defintion quickly enough to appear credible. She said thank you and we shared a weird giggle (I think it was a giggle).

I strutted off of the train as she said, "Have a good day", to me. I squeaked out after a too-long pause, "Thanks, you too". Walking with pride all the way down to the street level, I fished for my phone among the beverage fixings in my purse.

The beverages in my purse (not the water, but you get the idea).

Upon hitting pavement I Googled the word. Whew. I got it right. Mostly right. The women could probably deduce the tone of the word from the text she was reading to get the right connotation.

And then the guilt filled in where the relief subsided. I was so wonderfully proud of myself for getting an SAT word right on a real life test, that I forgot to return her verbal well-wishes for the day until an awkward beat later.

I may have puffed with pride at my book-knowledge, but where would that get me? How often will someone feed me a line about needing to know a word or a definition? And, by comparison, how far will that woman's kindness get her? I may have access to good jobs, have a great education, be a shameful iPhone user - having the world at my literal fingertips. But she, she has everything and then some because she's kind to strangers, doesn't see color or class and is humble enough to ask questions.

The world is her oyster and I'm the sand feeding into the pearl.

Hold onto your Hat (and your iPhone): How to Be a Good Patron of the CTA

I've been meaning to write this post for a while regarding the general public when it comes to public transit.

The CTA trains have overhead speakers announcing courteous traveler protocol, but apparently that's not enough. Folks still disregard the comfort and safety of other passengers on Chicago's buses and trains.

I travel using the CTA as much as the average car-less bear out there and through some shotty math I have concluded that I spend over 2 weeks a year riding a CTA vehicle.

Let's take a look at some helpful hints for all you newbies and rude-ies out there.

- Keep your smelly to your self(y). We are in an enclosed space folks, so try to stay outta my 3-ft bubble with your petri-dish-teeth and crotch-rot.

- Crazy people. Lock it up or stay home. Your choice.

- People on cell phones. We can all hear you.

- People using cell phones as boom boxes. We can all hear you. Thanks for sharing but we don't like your racial slur slingin' rap as much as you do.

- People listening to broke-a** headphones at high volume. We can still hear you and you aren't fooling anyone Mr. grown-man-listening-to-T.Swift. Take our sideways glances as a hint to lower the volume.

- Don't talk to someone unless you are sitting by them and even then, use your inside voice. Because, again, we can all hear you.

- Move your bags (from your back, from the seat next to you, from the aisle) to allow people to get around the train. Keeping a handle on your bags will help keep you and the people around you safe. It might also keep you from getting your iPhone stolen.

- Put your cigarette out before entering a subway station or other confined space.

- Don't move seats a lot just to find the best view. This isn't musical chairs. There will be no prizes.

- If you don't know me, don't talk to me. I am not here to make friends. And if you do know me, it's still ok to ignore me. It's not like we chose to meet up here.

- Soliciting hobos? If you must panhandle, please don't stare me down if I am hesitant to reach for my wallet. I did not choose to be your captive audience.

- If you are a standing passenger, please hold on to a bar or handles. I know you have a latte and a newspaper, but my morning commute isn't your morning break so hold on and stop dry-humping me when the bus/train jerks/stops.

- The train will give you plenty of time to exit. You needn't get up so early to get off the train that you cause a domino effect of other passengers.

- If the train is crowded and you are in a doorway, step off the train to allow others to exit. You are not a ghost (oh how I wish you were) and people cannot walk through you.

- Strollers. If you're baby can't walk on his/her own, why is he/she in the city?! Don't you know we live in the time of bird flu, H1N1 and SARS!? Keep that baby underground (but not in the subway)!


(Alternate title for this post? Things that make me lose my sh*t.)

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