I've been meaning to write this post for a while regarding the general public when it comes to public transit.
The CTA trains have overhead speakers announcing courteous traveler protocol, but apparently that's not enough. Folks still disregard the comfort and safety of other passengers on Chicago's buses and trains.
I travel using the CTA as much as the average car-less bear out there and through some shotty math I have concluded that I spend over 2 weeks a year riding a CTA vehicle.
Let's take a look at some helpful hints for all you newbies and rude-ies out there.
- Keep your smelly to your self(y). We are in an enclosed space folks, so try to stay outta my 3-ft bubble with your petri-dish-teeth and crotch-rot.
- Crazy people. Lock it up or stay home. Your choice.
- People on cell phones. We can all hear you.
- People using cell phones as boom boxes. We can all hear you. Thanks for sharing but we don't like your racial slur slingin' rap as much as you do.
- People listening to broke-a** headphones at high volume. We can still hear you and you aren't fooling anyone Mr. grown-man-listening-to-T.Swift. Take our sideways glances as a hint to lower the volume.
- Don't talk to someone unless you are sitting by them and even then, use your inside voice. Because, again, we can all hear you.
- Move your bags (from your back, from the seat next to you, from the aisle) to allow people to get around the train. Keeping a handle on your bags will help keep you and the people around you safe. It might also keep you from getting your iPhone stolen.
- Put your cigarette out before entering a subway station or other confined space.
- Don't move seats a lot just to find the best view. This isn't musical chairs. There will be no prizes.
- If you don't know me, don't talk to me. I am not here to make friends. And if you do know me, it's still ok to ignore me. It's not like we chose to meet up here.
- Soliciting hobos? If you must panhandle, please don't stare me down if I am hesitant to reach for my wallet. I did not choose to be your captive audience.
- If you are a standing passenger, please hold on to a bar or handles. I know you have a latte and a newspaper, but my morning commute isn't your morning break so hold on and stop dry-humping me when the bus/train jerks/stops.
- The train will give you plenty of time to exit. You needn't get up so early to get off the train that you cause a domino effect of other passengers.
- If the train is crowded and you are in a doorway, step off the train to allow others to exit. You are not a ghost (oh how I wish you were) and people cannot walk through you.
- Strollers. If you're baby can't walk on his/her own, why is he/she in the city?! Don't you know we live in the time of bird flu, H1N1 and SARS!? Keep that baby underground (but not in the subway)!
(Alternate title for this post? Things that make me lose my sh*t.)
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