Tipsy Tuesday: Become an Engineer

Or a nurse. Or an computer programmer. Or an accountant.

I'll stick with engineer because: needles, binary and boring.

In High School I took advanced Science and Math courses, but not English. So, why then, did I choose to go into English (Creative Writing) in college? And tack on Psychology as a minor? Because I wanted to be an advice columnist.

And advice columnist. I'll give you a second to look where you are and realize that this is what's become of my degree.

I gave up my established track in the coveted STEM fields for the Liberal Arts.

Liberal - not bound by authoritarianism
Arts - the conscious use of skill and creative imagination especially in the production of aesthetic objects
Liberal Arts - college or university studies intended to provide chiefly general knowledge and to develop general intellectual capacities as opposed to professional or vocational skills

By definition I shouldn't expect to get a job from the Liberal Arts.
Alternate Title: Social Media is the New Homemaking
AKA. Shit People With Little Education Can Do At Home For No/Low Income*
AKA Twitter = Cross stitch

Did I love taking Pre-Calculus a year early? No. It was hard.

And you bet I got nervous around upperclassmen in Biology II. So much that I stuttered nervously over simple things like genetics diagrams. ("It would have a 25% chance of being a ppppurple ppppeony.")

So what if you got a C in Physics? You know what they call C-grade doctors? Doctors.**

I chose writing and the arts. I stuck to my dreams and now I'm living them. I play Facebook for a day job and consult a thesaurus more than I do my own reasoning. Hopefully I'll get a few years in before my salary caps out or Social Media gives out and I'll have to get to cocoon and rebirth myself as a Creative Director.

Or an Engineer.

--
*Not that you are stupid. Just saying you don't have a to be a genius to do either. And both can trend toward degradation quickly. (LinkedIn is to me what toilets are to June Cleaver.)
**Not endorsing doing substandard work. Just endorsing some practical motivation to do something concrete and maybe hard in your life -  even if you aren't the best at it.

Online Shopping Supports My Decision to Not Become a Parent

Searching for a gift for my niece's first birthday (Happy Birthday on the 23rd!), I narrowed my choices down to 3 and let the reviews do the choosing. Among other notes (usefulness, educational level and if it will be gender neutral to share with her brother), these negative reviews steered me toward an easy winner.

"Awful! Loud, chaotic, no real educational value, and worst of all not [the toy it advertised]."

"... a riot of crazy beeps, chimes, and voices goes off. We had it on the quiet setting and even so, it drove us crazy just testing it."

"...it just brings on another seizure-inducing round of flashes and shrill noises."

"... I am reluctant to let her play with it because she can fit the entire circle shapes (cookie and orange) completely into her mouth."

Bwahhahahah! My sister should thank me for avoiding the riotous, seizure-inducing, mouthful toys.

For the baby who has everything? A smartphone with 4-G, Fisher Price technology.

I'm seriously considering writing a check for her college fund. It's the ultimate educational gift and she can share with her brother, should he grow up to be a deadbeat.

Tipsy Tuesday: Just Say No to School

I'm done with school.

Don't get me wrong, I loved school at all levels and plan to be a life-long learner (hello reading!), but until collegiate learning is more affordable, I won't go back.

I was reading this girl's tale about graduating with 6-figure debt. She and I have parallel lives (grew up on a tight budget, got scholarships for undergrad, got degrees in Creative Writing and Psychology, graduated with no debt) right up until she decides to go back to school.

I'm taking this as the final sign that I should take grad school off the table.

Listen, I know for some of you out there, higher degrees have helped your career and you are making 3-fold what you would have made without that masters/doctorate. To you, I say my new favorite phrase:

"Good on ya."

But the rest of you. C'mon! Creative Writing or other "arts" don't need a higher degree... especially if you cannot afford it! Unless scholarships/fellowships/dad is willing to pay for it, your 6-figure debt in loans will not be worth it. You'll never be able to pay it back without a lifetime of sacrifice.

Come. on.

I've been guilty of thinking about getting a masters. I wanted to do it. I love school, learning and the idea that I can add an entire other line to my resume. But it would never be worth it.

I'm going to use my psychology (bah!) to list some words that might describe you who are pursing higher degrees for no other reason than the love of syllabi, freshly sharpened pencils and earning A's instead of $'s. If any of these resonate, take heart and stop wasting your time and money:

Coward
That's right, you may be a coward. You may be afraid to try and fail. You may be worried that no one will like your work. You may be worried that the real world is hard.

Idiot
You might be an idiot if you think that a master's degree is the sand in which you may stick your ostrich-head while you wait for the storm of low employment to pass and the economy to turn around.

Math-Challenged Idiot
You're this special breed of idiot if you think that your masters degree will guarantee you more money and therefore will be worth the expense. Life costs more than you think. For instance, you need to account for taxes. Take your potential salary and lop off a third of it. Use a calculator if you have to.

Elitist
You may be afraid to work a job you think is beneath you. You are better than the rest of us. You are so smart. You will wow us all at parties one day. But you won't be invited to those parties if you stink of pretension and too-poor-for-deodorant.

Parasite
You are totally okay with living off the land (Walden style) or living off of others (Tinker Grey style). Some may have sympathy for you and give you a hand-out. "This starving artist I know", they'd say. I'm not saying that struggling for your art is bad; I am saying that planning on relying on others is bad. And relying on them when you could have avoided some massive debt is bad.  Heaven help you if you rub elbows with Republicans.

Lesson? Don't go back to school if you can't afford it.

Any of those sound familiar?
Are you in a master's program and you see a light at the end of the tunnel, both financially and career-wise?
Did you get your masters/doctorate and regret it?
Do you regret undergrad?
Am I too harsh? Comment and chew me out :)

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Get a Job or Get a Diploma

[Or just get a life! -*zing*]

I kid, I kid. School is awesome. I wish I could make a living out of going to school.

But after going to a social media marketing conference last week ($200 for a day) I thought, "I'm not learning anything here; I should totally just give up on these one-offs and get my MBA in marketing!"

I spent the afternoon pricing out schools in the area, looking at class schedules and emailing those I know who have taken graduate exams to see what their thoughts are on it.

Backing up a few months, I saw a quote to the following effect on Facebook and it made me cringe:

"Hey FB friends! What should I get my masters degree in??"

.... no words, lady. No words.

If you have to ask, maybe you shouldn't be going back to school, hmmm?

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Fast-forward again. I'm sitting on the train with my roommate (i.e. Mr. S) and say "I'm going to get my MBA. Would you mind living in Chicago for another few years while I wrap this up?"

He blinks at me, agrees that it's fine, but I think that's all just a tactic to go along with my wild ideas until I lose sight of them.

Consider THIS the reason that sight has been lost.

I have a great job that's entertaining my creativity but is still challenging enough that most days I pinch myself and worry that they'll find me out for the fraud I am (if they only knew what I don't know...). I have a career track that's worthwhile to me and that I can see rocketing me in the right direction. I have NO debt and I'm on schedule to BUY a house with my roommate/husband by the end of next year (woo-hoo!).

Why would I want to spend 3 years shoveling money into a maybe-pit? Thanks, but no thanks. I'll take my extra money and have a waiter bring me Mai Thais on my private rooftop deck.

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*Edit: As always, do what's right for you. I know many people who have several advanced degrees -some making use of these degrees, some not. Remember, for the sake of this blog (and in my life in general) I use extremes and seek to get a rise out of people. No shock about that. Carry on.