Swearing in Front of Mother Teresa and Pants-ing the Pope

What a RICH weekend. It was so full of wonderful things!

I've told you before that I grew up in a small town in Indiana and lost someone special to me as a teenager. My parents moved from my childhood home to Southern Indiana when I graduated college. My younger brother went with them. I had rarely returned to my hometown, but now my brother is back living there. This past weekend we returned just in time for a real, Midwestern fall.

My brother invited the Mr. and me to come to an outdoor party/concert/camp-out. We are choc-full-a activities from here until November, but this was the first invitation my brother extended so we didn't want to miss the opportunity. We first had lunch with my Grammy a few towns over, laughed at the stupidest things and then headed to Small Town, Indiana.

Does anyone else ever return to their hometown and it almost feels dreamlike? I feel that way. I recognize things and it seems real, but it's all totally different. Like I'm trying to remember my childhood after a head trauma.

My amnesia faded in and out as we drove through the heart of town. "The post office hasn't changed." "There used to be a coffee shop there." I'd remembered turns right as we were upon them. Thankfully, the Mr. had a good reaction time and was patient with my sporadic, "turn left NOW" commands.

We turned into my brother's drive knowing that the house he lives in was once inhabited by my high school boyfriend's parents. After the accident. My boyfriend never lived there, but I did stay the night there once to house sit and watch their dogs. It was surreal to walk back into the house with different furniture, different dogs.

My brother then took us to the shop where he works as a landscaper. I'd never seen where he works and the building was pretty new. It was so well put together and clean - especially for a group of guys who get dirty for a living! I'm so proud of him!

As we were leaving I noticed two crosses in the ditch and sputtered out half of a question before stopping myself. I hadn't recognized the intersection because the landscaping office was new to the corner. I also hadn't been back to the site of the accident in probably 8 years. One cross was original and the other was new and decorated with a pen and ever increasing signatures, but both to the same end.

We talked about the striking coincidence of it all without lumps in our throats. My brother is living and working where tough memories were stale and visceral, like fish fry garbage. He said he had unsettling dreams about it, but that they have stopped now. I hope he's been able to rewrite those areas with his own happy life. That the wood and paint in both places are just architecture.

The Mr. and I had so much fun this past weekend. It was our first time camping together in a tent. We listened to music by a high school friend. We had pulled pork around a campfire, breakfast links in a bay window, and pizza in a pub (Maddy, it was my first time at the Barbie hotel!). We hugged our host and hostess, thanking them for the 10th time. We hugged my brother a little tighter and longer than our welcome hug.

A while ago, the Mr. and I helped a coworker of my brother's who was given a raw deal. That coworker is doing a lot better now. We got to meet his whole family at this camp-out - in-laws, children, the works! They were all so kind and appreciative. Everyone was. Most of them are self-proclaimed red-necks who would swear in front of Mother Teresa and pants the Pope, but my brother has a good group of people around him and I'm thankful he's got "family" close.

The Week The Blog Went Black

Native Born on race:

We acquit each other when we accept the idea that “race is not an issue.”
I want to tell you all, for your own good, stop saying that. If you think race isn’t an issue, then race is most definitely an issue for you. When you pretend something does not exist, you give it power. That’s why Harry said “Voldemort” instead of “He Who Must Not Be Named.” Be Harry. You cannot destroy that which you think does not exist. You cannot heal a sickness if you refuse to believe that you are sick. You deny a sickness, though, and it only grows.

Sophia Nelson:

For me as an attorney, I am deeply concerned about how this case was prosecuted from the very beginning. The fact is that George Zimmerman shot and killed an unarmed 17-year-old black boy, who was doing nothing but walking home with some candy and tea. The fact that George Zimmerman pursued this young teen, scuffled with him, and ultimately shot him, proclaiming self-defense, and was not even arrested the night of the murder by authorities should jolt all Americans as to the true racial subtext of this case. The fact that George Zimmerman’s brother Robert took to CNN’s Piers Morgan last night and called Trayvon Martin “angry,” “violent,” wanting to possess a “gun” and a user of “drugs” and as such ultimately responsible for his own death actually reduced many of us to tears. The case was riddled with race from the very beginning. To deny that is dishonest and simply not the truth.

Rage Against the Minivan:

The nation is paying attention to the burden and risk of being a black man. Let’s move to action. I was heartened to see the protests tonight, and to observe that the crowds were very diverse. I felt that the verdict yesterday sent a horrible message to black men, and I hope the protest sends a message that many people care. But we can’t leave it at a protest. We’ve got to tell young black men that we’ve got their back today, and every day. That is what community looks like. That’s how we will find justice. 

This is a race and socioeconomic issue, says Cornel West (link to video of transcript below):

Maher brought up how Zimmerman got involved in the neighborhood watch after a string of burglaries in his neighborhood. He asked, “Why in this country do young black people still have no better prospects than committing petty theft?” 

West declared, “The criminal justice system itself is criminal.” He said that Wall Street executives can get away with practically anything, but people are freaking out about marijuana in Martin’s system. On the question of whether blacks commit more crime, Mair agreed that it’s harder to go after white-collar crime and fraud. West added that young blacks and whites consume drugs equally, but blacks are jailed more.

We have to remember this was an unarmed, high schooler:

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Tavis Smiley: You can 'stand your ground' as long as you're not black:

 

International News | Entertainment | Politics

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But it's not just the black community that's outraged. And it's not just the liberal community. It's young/old/white/Asian/Hispanic/Indian/educated/impoverished/upwardly mobile citizens for justice. It's anyone who's ever met a black man/loved a black man/talked to a black man/shook hands with a black man or respected a black man. It's parents/couples/singles and the childless. It's all of us who are citizens under a black president with blacks in our towns, our homes and at work.

The blog is black this week in honor of the memory of a child. 
And yeah, he was black.
It shouldn't matter, but it does.
And it carries significance so I won't overlook it.

When in Doubt, Say Thank You

Let me first of all thank you all for visiting my blog on Tuesday. This past Tipsy Tuesday was an overwhelming success with high pageviews and high commenting (for me, anyway). So, thank you!

It's nice to be thanked. Its nice to have something given to you or done for you that is worthy of a "thank you".

So if someone give you a compliment, say thank you. Don't refute them with "Oh, this old thing?" or "I'm worried it's too salty."

If someone gives you a gift, say thank you. Not "It's not my size/color/taste".

If a stranger holds the door for a line of their friends and then you happen to squeak in at the back, don't fumble back and forth on who should walk through first. Don't waste their time, just keep walking and say thank you. (Or hang back so there isn't that awkward moment of indecision.)

If someone wishes you a happy weekend, don't get into a drawn out explanation about why it's not happy. These sorts of valedictions are usually indicative of the end of a conversation. Say thank you and throw a "same to you" on the end if you're feeling spritely.

And one more thing. Stop apologizing so much. If you didn't do anything wrong ("sorry you have a head cold" "sorry I coughed into the phone" "sorry I ordered the salmon"), then don't apologize for it. Your apologies lose their oomph if you wear them around like stick-on mustache.

THANK YOU

I'm not sorry :)

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Tonight I am running a 3.5 mile race with some teammates from my company. It's nearly 90 degrees in Chi-town today, so after the race we'll have some sandwiches and cold beer (and water, of course!). I'm looking forward to the team building!

via

Listen, Learn, Speak Out: SOPA, Congressmen and AT&T

What is SOPA? (A biased article to explain and the actual bill.)

What do you think about it? Tell your congressman. Wikipedia can help you decide who that is.

Even Google got in on this.

In other news: I had a great time in Tucson with my husband and 'rents. I came back to a butt-load of work (at which I am happily chipping away) and the lights don't work in my interior office. I'd send you an iPhone pic, but AT&T sucks and I can't email them to myself. If you have AT&T and want to tell them to help you out with service, data coverage, fewer dropped calls then get this app and let them know when and where you experience trouble. If you live in Chicago, we've heard through the grapevine that data service should improve by April of this year.

Tipsy Tuesday: Increase Your QOL (Quality of Life)

I've been a whirlwind of ups and downs lately.

But enough about that. I want to give you some advice for hanging onto your hat this holiday season. No matter what bothers you (work, family, friends, a pack/blank social calendar), here are some of my tips for cooling-it.

Be sincere. If you are mad, express it lovingly. If you are apologizing, really mean it. Talk things through in your head so you don't fly off the handle. We all stay up late wrapping presents (eh-hem, like last night) and that makes us a little more reactive or sensitive in the mornings.

Be relevant. If you needn't say/do it, don't. Don't stress yourself out over the unnecessary. If you run out of holiday stamps for the Christmas cards, it's OK to use the liberty bell ones. ITS OK.

via Tiny Prints.

Have perspective. Someone is always going to out-Christmas you (matching sweater pictures, perfect holiday cookies, gifts mailed on-time). But someone will also make a worse fool of themselves at the holiday work party. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. If you consider dancing on the table in front of your boss "losing" then don't drink so much. In fact, maybe we should all give up alcohol for new years... hmm?

Breathe. And while you're stepping back to breathe, look at the panoramic picture. How is your action relevant? What can you see from your perspective? From their perspective? Are you being sincere? I read this cool technique on Mal's blog Sunday Morning Sugar. I did it at my desk and only got to 2 reps before I felt oh-la-la. Try it and report back!

How are you getting through the holidays? Do you stress? Do you let it roll off your back like a duck?

All unlabeled photos via Pinterest. Yay, work allows it again!! [But shhh. Don't tell them I know!]

Ten Tips Tuesday: Haters (don't) Hate

I'm a double-bloggin' on Emily Henderson today (both my personal blog and this lil ditty.)

Emily suggested on her blog that we open our minds to wicker (which I personally already like). But then she also asked what other things we initially disliked but should keep our minds open to... what we said we'd never come around to but have maybe ended up liking.

Have you ever said "no" or "I don't like ___" to:

1) Leggings or Jeggings. I used to think they were a cop-out, but then I tried 'em. Now I'm a bah-leeevah.

2) Olives, black licorice, cilantro. I've once said no to all of them. But now I like each of them.

3) Primary colors. I know that I love secondary colors (teal, purple, orange, green, etc.) but yesterday I caught myself wearing a navy skirt, yellow sweater and red necklace...

4) The smell of coffee. Growing up I think I didn't like it because it meant that I had to get up for school soon. Now I would buy coffee perfume if they make it.

I don't care if it's mens perfume. I sometimes wear S's cologne and he's all like "mmm, what's that smell?" in a good way :)

5) The song Clumsy by Fergie. I remember saying that I disliked that song in college but then I found myself youtubing the song. I'm not a huge fan of the song currently, but it did capture my attention for a while.

6) The Harry Potter Series. I denied them in high school but then one of my very literary friends recommended them and I got to book 4 (which was all they had at the time) before wandering away. I am putting my foot down with Twilight though.

7) Democrats. I used to consider myself a Republican. I now consider myself post-partisan. Like a party should tell you what to believe...

8) The color pink. I used to be worried that it would make me too girly. I think pink is freshly transcendent now. You can quote me on that, yes sir!

via etsy.com

9) Beer. Now I love it in all kindas rich brews. My first dark-beer love? New Castle.

via

10) Going to church. I used to fight my parents every week to not go and now I feel cleansed when I do go. I listen to sermons online or do reading on my own to make up for the times I can't be there. I can't imagine my life without my church community. (Not that you need to attend a church to have a Godly community.)

[Disclaimer: I had a family emergency this week that caused this blog post to go up late. I was 1/2 way through when I had to leave work and go to the hospital. Everyone's gonna be alright and thanks for your prayers.]

My Take on Bad Wedding Etiquette Comebacks

So Theknot.com just emailed me a list of ways to deflect or answer weird comments and statements made about your wedding.

Here are their answers and mine, respectively.

"Are you sure you're ready?"
Quick comeback (via theknot.com): Exude confidence and leave no room for anyone to debate if you or your fiance is in any way unprepared for what you're getting into: "Absolutely! We are completely in love and ready to be together forever."

Quicker comeback: Well, if we aren't and I end up bailing, here's my number. Call me ;)


"The marriage won't last."
Quick comeback: It's easy to get seriously offended by this one, but take the high road and try cheesy humor. Ask if their favorite precious stone is "jaded" or whether they hit any traffic on the Pessimist Expressway that morning.

Quicker comeback: I'm still not giving back the blender.


"Your engagement is too long."
Quick comeback: You have a few acceptable options: Explain that the best wedding vendors are booked more than a year in advance, that you're extending the engagement to save more money, or that you have something you want to accomplish (finish your degree, settle into a new job) before you make your marriage official.

Quicker comeback: Can we have the wedding at your house in 3 weeks then?


"Your engagement is too short."
Quick comeback: Reassure them that though your engagement is brief, you set the wedding planning wheels in motion well before he popped the question. Be calm -- if you seem too swept up in the excitement of the proposal, it supports the idea that you're rushing things.

Quicker comeback: The end of the world got moved from May 21st to July 4th. We want to go out with a bang as a married couple.


"Is that really the ring you wanted?"
Quick comeback: It's every newly engaged woman's right to show off her rock, but if you get negative vibes from someone, draw focus away from the ring with a simple reply like, "We're both really happy and excited."

Quicker comeback: You're a selfish a**hole, aren't you?

"This bridesmaid dress is ugly."
Quick comeback: Find out why she doesn't like it and try to locate some middle ground. Suggest that she stick with the dress color but then let her choose her own silhouette.

Quicker comeback: (If coming from a non-bridesmaid)- You have bad taste. (If coming from the 'maid herself)- You're just fat.

More to come later. TheKnot's post was 13 points long and I want to leave you hanging!