Andersonville

via

The Mr. and I are trying to make a point to go out to eat more. Rather, to date more. I usually like cooking at home but have not found joy in it lately. We also get so bogged down in the usual evening routine (walk dog, feed animals, walk dog, make dinner, work, watch the news, walk dog, clean up dishes/floors/laundry, bed) that we sorta don't connect with each other. 

So last night, I returned to Andersonville with said Mr. 

I was there on Tuesday buying art (see Instagram feed) and pastries. I thought it was so cute and we'd both been interested in returning to that fun little neighborhood (some say it's Uptown, some say it's Andersonville) ever since we attended a going away party at Hopleaf*. 

So we did the trek in afternoon traffic to Big Jones. I had the shrimp and grits and Mr. had the salmon. I usually don't go for shrimp because of the "vein", but trusted this place to clean them properly. They did and I had a great, cheesy dinner. We both enjoyed cocktails. I'd recommend the Mr.'s drink to anyone. It had chamomile infused gin in it! (Not on the online menu.) 

We were the sole patrons on their outdoor patio until another couple, celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary, joined us. They were given complimentary glasses of champagne but chose to give them to us as they weren't drinkers. So... cheers!

Next date night will be at Atlas.

--
*I just now see that they have a 'no-kids' policy. Must remember that one for the next time I want to guarantee a baby-free date!

10 years

Ten years ago today my hometown community and I lost someone significant.

Googling his name produces either dry articles from local papers about the specifics of the accident or sloppy-wet pleas from local pontificates about "healing" and "in a better place".

In honor of this milestone anniversary of his passing (and a week after his birthday - he would have been 26), I'd like to rewrite history and give him an online presence that is neither scientific nor somber. To show him we've thrived. And because he was funny and would have disliked such a monotone, sad legacy.

Here goes:

JP was a badass. He said yes to life while he had it. He didn't need authority or rules or grades - just ask his teachers! He died in an appropriately silly way: on what he called "scoot-ride", riding into the sun, and hearsay says, eating! He was one of few kids to have a full drum set in his room and probably the only one I know to have created a logo for himself and the set. He was handsome but would sacrifice a cool flick of his hair for a twisted-up face and goofy voice if it would get a laugh. He was cool but risked his popularity by working for a hot-dog joint. Alas! He made working the fryers cool! 

via

JP, we really had quite a thing going and I was devastated as anyone would have been to say goodbye. I'm sorry I lost touch with your family, but I somehow think that was for the best. But in good news, I got out of town. I graduated from a prestigious university. I moved to a big city and have had a few professional jobs. I am married, own a house, have a new car, a cute dog and a wonderful husband that I think you'd really like. He plays guitar, so I think you'd probably bond over a jam session.
Neither of you can sing though.
I'll handle that :)

---
Leave hate-mail comments if you like, but I think he'd applaud some irreverence.

Online Dating

IT'S REAL, PEOPLE!

Now that you're in the mood for online dating, let's discuss.

I never got the chance to date online and to be honest I'm jealous of my friends who have. It sounds really fun and the stigma about it is slipping away.

Heck, last night we had our real estate agent and his wife over for dinner (I made this with a few variations) and they told us how they met on match.com.

And I have two other girlfriends who are happily married for a few years now to men they met online.

And another girlfriend I know used a site I've never heard of to meet her new boyfriend.

Even my MIL has had some success online dating.

It makes so much sense, you know?

If someone's a smoker, boom, you can decline to meet them. If someone shares your love of pie eating contests, boom, take them for coffee.

You can pre-qualify your dates, get people who are closer to your ideal and only spend time with people who are looking for what you are (a short fling or the long haul).

So I applaud you Tinder, Match.com, J-Date and yes, you too FarmersOnly.com.

Yee-haw!


I saw farmersonly.com here first. 

Boo! - It's a Phone Call and Just Say No

I have been a receptionist more times in my life than any other profession. When you screen calls, people have the option to say, "No, I'm not going to take that call from XYC Company because it's a solicitor." I get a lot of people turning down calls like this and you know what? It never got to the root of problem and stopped the solicitor.

If you think about it, turning down the solicitor's calls turns the receptionist into your gatekeeper, your knight in shining stilettos. They save you from unwanted magazine subscriptions, rambling investments schemes and unknown 1-800 numbers. How ... nice?

No. Not nice. You are a coward and making someone totally unrelated to the situation fight your audio-battles when you could just: talk to the solicitor and tell them to take you off the list.

I just got a call, patched through from our current receptionist, that was clearly a solicitor. I said, "Um, sure, you can put them through," knowing full well that I would have to turn down this poor soul on the other end. I listened to his spiel, told him we weren't interested and thanked him for his follow up. Click. Painless and he got the point.

Grow a set and pick up the phone, won't you?

It is sick how much we are propelled into rigidity by fear. We refuse change. We hold ourselves back. We make it harder on the adapting world. We become irrelevant.

I've been there.

I used to avoid guys that asked me out more than once when I turned them down in a flaky way (I have actually used the excuse "I have to wash my hair" instead of coming out with it and saying I just wasn't attracted to them).

It's ok to say No. It doesn't have to be a personal dig on the recipient. And when people say No to you, don't take it personally. We have to learn to take on our opponents and tell them No.

So the next time you get a call from an unknown number or a name that doesn't sound familiar, just pick it up and deal with it. You can save yourself, the salesperson (or poor soul that asked you out) and the receptionist some time and grief.

---

On an unrelated note, tomorrow is Mr. S's last day at his old job. He is moving on to bigger (paychecks) and better (career track) things. In honor of him gaining VP status (congratulations, Mr.!), I thought I'd make him a cake:

via

Or just take a picture of a cake.

Ok, that's not my cake or my picture. I do like it though.

Flip-It Friday: Call It! The Time Of Dating Death

Sometimes when a fresh relationship goes sour, its obvious. The stench of unreturned texts. The wrinkles of impenetrable schedules. The mold of "It's not you, it's me."!!

Other times, we stand waiting for the wagon and it never comes.



via

*cough, cough*

Now that I have all the analogies out of my system, let's discuss how you know when a dating relationship is dead in the water.

Do you call it when someone can't make for you 4 weekends in a row? Are they really that busy?

Do you call it when their same-sex-outings (a la "girls night") take over prime time Friday AND Saturday? Or are they just a really good, popular friend?

How many days (or weeks) do you let pass without a text/call/face-to-face?

Do texts even count?*

Tell me your thoughts. Tell me your stories. Tell me if you are currently in limbo!

*I had a guy ask me out via text and I kept acting like I didn't know what he was talking about. I certainly did, but text? Really? He finally put in all-caps-texty-shouting "I'M TRYING TO ASK YOU OUT ON A DATE". I told him I got that, but would it kill him to pick up the phone? Apparently it did. The texting tapered off. I called it. Time of death? When all wooing was lost in texty translation.

Ten tips Tuesday: advice on dates (the late night/barely thinking clearly edition)

'tis only 9:30 (on Wednesday, I know I'm late) and I am thumb-penning this in bed from my phone. Between the w's of life (wedding, work, when's-Jesus-comin'-back-so-I-can-take-a-load-off-already?!), blogging has fallen by the wayside. Boo.

Anyway, down to bit-ness.

While weekend dates are more formal and straightforward, weeknight dates for drinks can be less clear. Here are some tips to be a weeknight datin' fool.

1) be early. If you're meeting up after work, give yourself plenty of time to be early so that you can secure a table/seat at the bar. Even if this means pushing your date back 15 min when you schedule it.
2) although weeknight dates are more relaxed typically, try to give it the same treatment you would a weekend date. If you bring flowers normally, do that.
3) order food. This may seem obvious but if you are coming from work and going straight to get drinks, at least get an appetizer for BOTH of your sakes.
4) don't make them watch you eat dinner. If your date isn't interested in getting dinner even at your urging, don't force it. No one likes to watch another person eat. If you cannot wait to eat, consider cutting the date short. Think I'm harsh? You choose. Your date or your dinner.
5) bedtime. No, not the sexy kind. Know when to quit so that they see you as responsible enough to want you both to have a productive day at work following the date.
6) pick a quieter place if you can so you can make the most of your conversation. Clubs are for Saturdays... And douche bags.
7) capitalize on a happy hour special or byob place. Any date worth their salt will appreciate you saving some paper (get it... Salt and paper? *note to self- copyright that as a band name.) Use the extra cash to spring for a cab. Your dates workday tootsies will thank you.
8) which brings me to cabs. If it's late or can just swing it to be nice, get your date a cab and prepay the driver for them. It'll help you end on a high note when the last impression they get of you is a thoughtful gesture.
9) don't blog on melatonin.
10) order the fish.

Gaga and I say goodnight to all the little monsters of the world.