Thoughful Thursday: Sassy is a Nice Way to Put It

Ever want to see "Mean Girls" as a horror movie?

Jump inside my head, ya'll. 

Just kidding, 

"You Can't Sit With Us!"

Yesterday I cut out coffee, carbs and alcohol until the Mr. poured me a glass of wine to save his own life. I'm detoxing cold turkey but have relapsed and am still not feeling like my old self. Unless my old self felt old and cranky and like crying for no reason. 

Even after going to bed at 8:30 last night I woke up feeling tired, sore and really really, shall we say, sassy. Are my eyes even open? Can I even see this screen right now?

Last night we watched House Hunters over steamed fish and all I could do was yell gay jokes at the TV.

"I'll tell YOU why he's so concerned about the orientation of the backyard!"

"Carpet, smarpet. Thou DOST protest too much." 

"She's a beard and you're a 'mo. Lesbi-honest, you're building a guest house because you aren't sharing the master!"

"Gavin the flight attendant brought along his sassy black girlfriend: not because Gavin doesn't have a boyfriend, but because Gavin doesn't love Gavin for who Gavin is."**

SweetJesusI'mAMonster.

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*This post is for Maddy, who understands that watching anger-inducing House Hunters while in a 'deodorant-aisle' state was all "my bad". 

*I'm sorry, Dad. 

**Watch this one, people. It's in Chicago and even the Realtor is all like, "Are you kidding me? I didn't sign up for this. I'm out."

Early to Bed, Early to Rise

So so of my friend might be astonished that I am looking forward to going to bed early this week as Mr. S is gone. We work on different schedules and he often stays up much later than I do and I always get up before him... even on weekends.

Here's an article for those early birds out there.

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I love this quote from William Blake, via Steve Murphy, the CEO of Christie's:

"'Think in the morning, act in the noon, read in the evening, and sleep at night."

Maybe this means a "C" title is in my future!

An Andy Apple A Day

Well well, it's Thursday and no one's heard from me since last week. I'd like to blame Andy Rooney for signing off and leaving 60 Minutes to become the most boring and unnecessarily sensationalized programming on TV (Oprah, should she still be on, would be a good contender).

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Boy, can that man tell it like it is. And aren't we all sad to see him go? We're pretty selfish and possessive of our 92 year old friend here.

Or maybe it's because I've been trying to find a gym all week. It's getting cooler out and, let's be honest, I don't run outside anymore anyway. I need some options to stay fit and a gym can give me a track, a treadmill, an elliptical AND tons of eyes watching me, judging me, spurring me forward to exhaustion.

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Or maybe I could blame is on the passing of Steve Jobs. But that's too recent and, again, being honest, I didn't even know the guy. Steve-o, you gave us Apple, I will have this apple in your memory. I took it with your iPhone and it came out sideways. I'm not sorry. I hope you like it.

All of the above is true (Especially the apple. You will be mine by lunchtime, apple.), but mainly it's because this work week has mowed me over. I might be fighting a sinus cold or something too. Going to bed at 9 PM all hopped up on nyquil/benedryl/vaselined-up-nostrils makes for a glass-eyed-blog-free adult.

No advice here today except, maybe, that vaseline is the best invention (note to self: do post on the many uses of petroleum jelly) and that green apples are good with any kind of cheese (cheddar, brie, gouda, boursin...) and that even running just a mile (I say "just" but it is kinda a struggle for me) can make you feel better about all the cheese you eat with your green apple before going to bed on a stomach full of cheese and apple acid.

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Beverage pairings for this post: Wine for the cheese, tea for the cold and yucky K-cup coffee from work because I broke my french press this past weekend :(

Ten Tips Tuesday: on Sleeping Better

Sleeping like a baby (or a dog and a baby).

Man-o-man do the weeks fly by when you post only a few times a week! I should make a theme for every day to keep me accountable. Sheesh! Now, down to business.

Yesterday was a long day for me. Got up at 6:30 to work from 8 AM - 5 PM. Then milled around town and did some reading before I headed off to small group from 7:30 until 9. Then got a ride (thanks again, Anna!) home to be in bed, reading, by 10:30.

It's been a topic more than once that society pushes each generation to their limit in regards work and use of time. We don't know which came first - the requirement to be go-go-go or the desire to be go-go-go, but subsequent generations are busier and busier.

Naturally we cannot make more hours in the day, so when our productivity is threatened, we sacrifice how we spend our time in other areas. The people we love, activies we enjoy, down-time and adequate sleep are some points we put on the front line in the battle against the 24hr day.

Do your best to balance your life with joys and loved ones. As for sleep, most say we can get by with less but function better with more. I, personally, "hit a wall" when I'm tired and will stop at nothing to get to sleep. Here are some of my tips.

1. Make a routine. Take a shower, brush your teeth, light a soothing candle for 15 min to get your mind and muscle memory going down the "oh yeah, I AM tired" track.

2. Lower the lights. If your bedroom lights aren't on dimmers, you can get ready for bed by candlelight or buy only putting a bedside light on instead of a harsh overhead light.

3. Trying listening to classical music or music without lyrics. Lyrics can get stuck in your head and keep your mind a'workin'.

4. Read an easy read. I've been reading a book loaned to me by my friend Giselle (thanks!) written by the Dalai Lama that is very placid. Although I don't believe the theology the book is based on, Mr. Lama (I know that's not his name) does approach life calmly and compassionately, which I do admire.

5. Put your iPhone down. Staring at a back-lit screen only wakes your mind up and keeps you alert and thinking. Put. It. Down.

6. Shower or at least wash your feet. I cannot sleep without clean feet. I feel like dirty feet make dirty sheets and I cannot sleep in dirty sheets!

7. Make your bed in the morning. There is something transitional about folding back the sheets that helps you think about bedtime as final and a good exhale to the day. There's nothing else to prepare, it's already done and you can hop right in.

8. Stop drinking coffee 5 hours before you go to bed. Most people shouldn't drink coffee outside of the work day. If you are a tea or decaf drinker, remember you are still getting caffeine. Give your physical body no excuse to be restless.

9. Exercise. Burning off some calories and energy stored in your desk-bound-body will help your muscles and mind relax. Running and other forms of cardio can even help you clear your mind of worries and a worriless mind is a happy, sleepy mind.

10. Melatonin. Taken occasionally, a supplement of melatonin can help aid in sleep by naturally restoring your body's sleep cycle. I take it when I've had a busy day and really need help winding down or when I travel between time zones.

I feel like days are taken off of my life when I do not get enough sleep. Here's to big, fat ZZZs.