Last night I had book club with some lovely ladies at a swanky wine bar in Logan Square. We discussed Rules of Civility - a great read by most standards.
The conversation turned to manners and upbringing and some of us agreed that we were interrupters. We will blatantly talk over you to get our point across and straight cut you off.
Now, I know this is rude - I'm one of the offenders! What do we do to stop ourselves from cutting other people off?
We can start by listening. If you are actively listening and not just waiting for them to take a breath so you can butt in, then most likely you'll see that the conversation is organically moving away from your soon-to-be-moot point anyway. Give up your zinger point for the good of the conversation and wait your turn. You might also be taking the spotlight away from a quieter contributor. Don't squeeze people out.
I am terrible at waiting for my turn in conversation. My dad has told me more than once, "Let me finish!" And I always know that I'm in the wrong. Some of us may not have dads telling us to wait. And all of us have friends that are kind enough not to reprimand us for butting in. Let's all do them a favor and pause before we speak to allow others to finish their thoughts.
[Disclaimer: The woman who brought this up was in no way being a butt-in-ski in our convos. She just brought it up for discussion.]
On the flip-side (which I'm also guilty of, yet on fewer occasions than interrupting), if you are the speaker please don't filibuster the conversation! It is a power-play and unkind to your fellows. You are controlling the conversation by talking through everyone. It shows that you are less confident in your argument and are seeking to wear the others out rather than win them over. No one is listening to you anyway. Say things once and end it with a "know what I mean?" before launching into scenarios and multiple explanations. Be concise. Pause if you have to think of the right words to say, don't keep rambling until you get it right. Less is more here, people.
Do you have any bad habits that you are seeking to correct?
