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Monday, May 20, 2013

Why I Sneered at The History Channel's "The Bible"

The Bible played on the History Channel a few months ago. I believe you can purchase it online or stream it somehow. We streamed it and leisurely watched it on our time, which is why I am leisurely writing this review.

Now, I usually have a hard time with Christianity-for-entertainment/profit*, but I watched this series with the Mr. and his cousin while she lived with us. They were both interested and I found myself playing solitaire on my phone to keep from interjecting like a rude patron at a movie. This doesn't mean I wasn't paying attention, though.

First of all, the mini series is produced by Touched By An Angel's Roma Downey and her husband of Survivor fame, Mark Burnett. Not that they can't use their powers for good, but Burnett didn't make a butt load of money from Survivor by exhibiting Christ-like qualities. And someone please tell me how he could put his name on The Apprentice and The Bible in the same lifetime**.

Secondly, they changed little things about the Bible to make it more dramatic. In the History Channel version: The wise men show up when Jesus is a baby. Sarah (wife of Abraham) chases Abraham and Isaac up the mountain as Abe is about to put a blade to Isaac. The arc has a ton of windows, when it's only supposed to have one. You know... for drama!


But then, they also change big stuff to help make for good TV.

In their version: Jesus is light skinned (Portuguese, but light skinned). In fact, all of the awesome folks are white. Only the black sheep are, well, darker. Satan is played by a Moroccan actor who is basically put in black-face.

Also, when Lot and his family are living in Sodom and the angel comes to get them out before the fall of the city, the TV show left out some pretty chilling details. Lot is supposedly honorable by biblical standards but douchey by today's standards by offering up his virgin daughters to the angry mob in exchange for them leaving the angels alone. The town is called Sodom. You get where this is going. Burnett and Downey chose to leave this bit out of the story.

This portrayal is Christian at best, but not historical. I wonder why the channel picked it up at all ***.

For more inaccuracies, see this article... especially #4... or should I say, #2****



*I've refused to see Passion of the Christ on principle alone.
** Because God loves Capitalism?
*** Not really. It's a good story line that has a dead panel of writers and no royalties! Profit, profit, profit!
**** Hey-o!