We cannot expect others to live like us, like the things we do, react the way we do or even understand us. I'm deeply flawed in thinking "I like lentils. So. Shall. You!"
and other generalizations.
But this past week, in observation of completely different family dynamics, I am so aware of what is universal -
Moms and daughters don't naturally click, yo.
Women are competitive. We challenge one another in seemingly harmless ways. We can be the sneakiest of enemies or the bravest of friends (sometimes both). And we get jealous.
I have friends who, growing up, told their mom everything. They are hooked-finger-best-buds-fo-life with their moms.
Best friends? More like Regina George and Cady ("It's Katie!") Heron from Mean Girls.
I've seen moms/daughters bullied into dating the right guy, wearing their hair a certain way, going to college near home, etc. I've seen the best manipulation out of mothers and daughters. Probably because we know one another too well.
I had a different relationship with my mom. I talked to her when I needed to. She listened. She sometimes bugged me too much about sunscreen or wearing a scarf ("It'll keep your neck warm!"), but all in all, she was mom - not best friend.
Because of the way I approached my job as a daughter, I've had to get to know my mom in my adulthood from scratch. I was sorta mean to her growing up (tough to admit, such shame) and never realized how awesome she was at being herself and making others feel comfortable around her (a skill I admire now that I'm older!).
So, as a reminder to all moms and daughters:
Be nice to one another. Be encouraging. Be a mom/daughter first and a friend second. Daughters: grow up and tell mom she's not the boss of you! Moms: let your girls grow up, but never remove the lens of "loving mom".
*Update* It's totally cool to be friends with your mom. Not knockin' that at all.
