(un)Solicited Advice

Giving Up or Trading?

2012-03-02T13:55:00.001-08:00

I've heard that when we forfeit a habit, we really just replace it with another habit.

Instead of going out for a smoke, we snack.
Instead of snacking, we shop.
Instead of shopping, we ... read? Maybe this is where it comes full circle and we smoke again. Ha!

Since we are in Lent, I've given up alcohol until Easter. It's easy to stick by my commitment when I'm not socially busy, but I will have some trials in the next few weeks including a wedding, my birthday, a dinner party, a potential reunion with a friend, another book club and the return of MadMen.

(*gulp* in trepidation and irony)

Since I'm looking at this as 40 days of deprivation, I'm wondering if I can substitute with something else to make me feel like I'm not missing out.

I love beverages (as you may know by now) but sparkling water can only carry me so far.

So I ask you, what would you do/drink in place of giving up alcohol? Did you give up something for Lent? Do you find that when you give something up you end up indulging in something worse just to keep your sanity?

P.S. It should be easier to comment than ever! I took off the stupid word-encryption thing and made the comment page another screen so that it would load more quickly. Notice a difference? Now you have no excuses!

Cool graphic about what, according to Twitter, people are giving up for Lent. Some of my favorites that are tiny (i.e. not many people are giving them up): Gossip, Bacon, My Job.

Leap For Loaves: Put Your Leap Day To Good Use

2012-02-29T10:11:00.000-08:00

Use this app to fight hunger in the Midwest.

Leap For Loaves! uses a smart phone app to calculate how high you jump. It then takes the total jumps of all users and donates money to Second Harvest Heartland.

So go on and JUMP!

Never Make Boring Mac and Cheese Again

2012-02-29T07:03:00.006-08:00

I usually add hot sauce, mustard, onion and whatever veggies I have on hand to my mac-n-cheese.

Do you add anything fun? What about duck confit?! This chart makes me want to add beer to my macaroni and cheese!

via

If you can't see the chart, click here to see the original.

Tipsy Tuesday: The Quarterly Financial Roundup and Retirement

2012-02-28T11:32:00.000-08:00

(The last time I did this was for October, so therefore, 'tis quarterly when measured on my own, made-up cycle.)

**Update at the bottom**

Get excited! I've got charts for you:

The first chart shows how conservative we are with our spending. When I say "not spending" I don't always mean "saving" because sometimes that extra money sits in our checking account (instead of our higher-interest savings account) until we move it over to savings. Which we/Mr. S recently did.

Boom... and...

The second chart shows the breakdown of our expenses. There is some wiggle room in there as we did just pay for flights to Nicaragua in January (the dark blue slice) and we pay for a family plan for cell phones when we get reimbursed for the cost of some of the users (the lighter blue slice) and that reimbursement isn't reflected here.

BAM!

These charts reflect January's spending, saving and where all the money went. It's it glorious!?

When we were in Nica with our friends B.Lill and her husband (collectively they are called BaM), B and I started discussing investments, particularly retirement. (If retirement savings isn't considered an "investment", please leave a comment to correct me. I love learning and am working on humbly accepting fault!)

Anyway, BaM saves aggressively for retirement. M's parent's retired early after selling their dental practice and are still living-da-vida-loca as young retirees. BaM want to do the same and are busting their butts to make it happen.

Their primary goal is retirement savings (as they already own their forever-home, a car and probably have a nice cushion set up if/when kids come along in the next few years).

Hearing about Social Security in the news and learning how flawed of a plan it is for both our parents and our own golden years makes me scared for retirement. Not for me necessarily, because I believe Mr. S and I are aware of the issue there and realize that we need to start planning now if we want to take it easy in our older years, but for our generation.

Are you scared about retirement? Do you know where your security is going to come from when you're older? Are you squirreling away ANYTHING now? Yes, even in your 20's.

My advice to you: start saving for your retirement. Max out your 401k. Is a Roth IRA better for you? More tips for planning for retirement while in your 20's.

Also, keep a handle on your finances. Check them regularly (I have made charts quarterly, but I check Mint.com regularly). Get a handle on overspending and reward yourself when you've done well.

What tools do you use to plan for retirement? To save?

Drink Pairing: fresh orange, pear, parsley and strawberry juice. We juiced this morning (as we committed to do everyday this week for breakfast) and it was our best combo yet. Parsley may be an odd choice, but it has vitamin K!

**Update**
I had a comment from what I assume is my college roommate, RM. Not sure what happened to the comment, but she said she uses Mint.com and that her transactions are appearing twice. Does this help? If not, should you alert Mint to your problem? I know Mint is working on fixing things overtime and opening tickets with them might help you and others get solutions faster. :) So glad you use Mint!!

Get a Job or Get a Diploma

2012-02-27T14:17:00.000-08:00

[Or just get a life! -*zing*]

I kid, I kid. School is awesome. I wish I could make a living out of going to school.

But after going to a social media marketing conference last week ($200 for a day) I thought, "I'm not learning anything here; I should totally just give up on these one-offs and get my MBA in marketing!"

I spent the afternoon pricing out schools in the area, looking at class schedules and emailing those I know who have taken graduate exams to see what their thoughts are on it.

Backing up a few months, I saw a quote to the following effect on Facebook and it made me cringe:

"Hey FB friends! What should I get my masters degree in??"

.... no words, lady. No words.

If you have to ask, maybe you shouldn't be going back to school, hmmm?

via

Fast-forward again. I'm sitting on the train with my roommate (i.e. Mr. S) and say "I'm going to get my MBA. Would you mind living in Chicago for another few years while I wrap this up?"

He blinks at me, agrees that it's fine, but I think that's all just a tactic to go along with my wild ideas until I lose sight of them.

Consider THIS the reason that sight has been lost.

I have a great job that's entertaining my creativity but is still challenging enough that most days I pinch myself and worry that they'll find me out for the fraud I am (if they only knew what I don't know...). I have a career track that's worthwhile to me and that I can see rocketing me in the right direction. I have NO debt and I'm on schedule to BUY a house with my roommate/husband by the end of next year (woo-hoo!).

Why would I want to spend 3 years shoveling money into a maybe-pit? Thanks, but no thanks. I'll take my extra money and have a waiter bring me Mai Thais on my private rooftop deck.

via

*Edit: As always, do what's right for you. I know many people who have several advanced degrees -some making use of these degrees, some not. Remember, for the sake of this blog (and in my life in general) I use extremes and seek to get a rise out of people. No shock about that. Carry on.

Flip It Friday: Disney Trips for Adults :/

2012-02-24T12:04:00.000-08:00

Would you, as an adult, go to Disney World/Land?

(Frankly, I don't know the difference and I'd be ashamed of myself for Googling it. Not because I'm ashamed not to know, but rather because I'd be ashamed I cared enough.)

The topic of going to Disney as an adult has come up more than once in conversation with my peers.

There's a guy at work who has no children and he and his wife go with a group of adult friends and have a good time. On our recent Nicaragua trip, our travel buddies said they know adults who've gone for years - with or without children.

I personally cannot stand the thought of doing that. All those kids. All the street people dressed up in costume and wanting to hug you. Awful.

Did I mention my biggest fear is street performers/being pulled on stage by a comedy act?

Please don't touch me or pick me out of a crowd.

Anyway, Mr. S has to go to Or-lahn-doe for work over my birthday (sob sob*) and people suggest I take time off and go with him to enjoy Or-lahn-doe.

I say, "F-that".

They say, "But Disney".

I laugh at their silly joke-of-a-suggestion and then droop my face into a frown when I realize they don't get the joke. They're serious.

People rave about the food, rides, shows, weather, fun, ~~distractions~~ er, attractions at Disney, but I feel I can get a top meal and see a show in most major cities. Why would I do it with a million snot-waddlers around?

Have you "done Disney"?

So which party do you fall into? Disney-as-an-Adult or Thank-You-Southwest-Stewardess-For-The-Free-Cocktails-on-the-Way-Home-From-OrLahnDoe. (footnote)

(footnote a line later) Mr. S and I had to attend a Pakistani wedding in Or-lahn-doe last year and we seemed to be the only non-child-riddled people on the flight so to help us cope with the screams and tantrums she brought us free cocktails. Bless her!

Scared of Social Media? [a.k.a. Bullsh*t]

2012-02-22T09:00:00.000-08:00

10 Reasons Employers Should Block FaceBook

Productivity. This was briefly mentioned above but the reality is you can quickly get lost in FaceBook where minutes turn into hours and all of a sudden your work just doesn’t get done. Remember you are at work for a paycheck, but the company pays you to do your job not to keep up with relatives that are miles away.
Malicious Malware. Social networks today are known for malicious malware from spyware to viruses. When it comes to these threats, a business network can be a gold mine to hackers, costing an organization millions. This can be a real headache for system administrators and eventually the whole company.
Illegal Content. Facebook isn’t known for the cleanest of content. In fact, part of what makes it so much fun is that you can say just about anything you want to there (whether you should or shouldn’t). This can lead to all kinds of problems in the workplace and can easily offend the other employees.
Discrimination. Unfortunately, discrimination is still prominent in the world and therefore on FaceBook. While that may be just distasteful in the comfort of your own home it can lead to very real discrimination and harassment lawsuits that the company just doesn’t want to deal with.
Illicit Images. Okay we aren’t necessarily talking about all-out porn though that could exist. We are also talking about that picture that your friend took last night after having a little too much to drink and felt like flashing the camera. Hey, we’ve all been there…
Network Use. While most networks have tons of bandwidth, there is no reason to let the network get bogged down in any way with content that is not work related. You never know what may be posted on FaceBook nor how much bandwidth it might take to show those flip videos.
Employees Are Paid To Work. Sorry if it seems repetitive but it’s really important to point out that you are paid to work and unless you are in social media yourself, not to be on FaceBook.
Time Consuming Activity. I have spent literally hours on FaceBook playing games and/or tracing down all of my high school classmates. There is just so much there that is interesting that before you know it you have shot a whole day.
Confidentiality. Confidentiality is an extremely high priority issue within any organization in all industries. Especially when it comes to HIPAA within health care organizations, there are tough measures that must be taken to ensure that confidentiality is upheld at all times. Getting on social networks like Facebook could definitely lead to information from work ending up on the net.
Networking Between Companies. When you employ people, you are competing with other companies. You definitely don’t want your employees on Facebook networking between companies, sharing information and giving away all your secrets. Even if this isn’t going on while the employee is on Facebook, it is a risk that you shouldn’t have to deal with.

People can waste time without FB.

Malware can be found anywhere and clicked on through various sites.

Illegal content? I bet Victoria's Secret is blocked at your workplace too.

I don't even understand the point on discrimination.

Number 5 is number 3 all over again.

Network use... how about the use of the time around the water-cooler? How about we just chain people to their desks!

7 is number 1 all over again.

8 is number 7 and 1.

If you're worried about confidentiality either hire professional people or literally gag them and go through their mail.

10 is a problem with LinkedIn... or anyone with a thumb drive... or anyone who's ever belonged to a country club.

---

The ignorance in this article reminds me of this amateur high school reporter writing on why women don't need to go to college.

via

Tipsy Tuesday: Vacation and Travel

2012-02-21T11:17:00.000-08:00

I spent the past few days in Nicaragua [San Juan Del Sur] with my husband and 2 friends. Have a look and be jealous!

Tip One: Wear Sunscreen. And when that doesn't work, sit in the shade.

Tip Two: Take time to stop and smell the sunset. I love this photo of a woman doing her sun salutation yoga as the sun in setting.

Tip Three: Don't forget to take photos of people as well as landscapes.

Tip Four: Detox when you get back. Raw vegan for me this time around.

I'm not the best person to give vacation advice. I've learned through the years that I don't travel well and am still negotiating the best way to take a vacation (travel, stay-cation, short-stay, desert/mountain/warm/cold?).

Can I tell you something, friends? I have some guilt about vacation. I feel like I don't "do" vacation well and that's both sad for me and frustrating for those I'm with. There were a series of factors I could blame (sun poisoning, a few bumps to the head while surfing, my digestive system getting out of whack every-single-time, or the lack of alone time), but I wonder if I am just missing whatever it is that makes people enjoy travel. The perfect storm of fun-loving people and fresh experiences still can't pull me from my funk about it.

I love time off of work. I love seeing new things. I love eating fun food. I also love coming back to my familiar home and be able to do things the way I'm used to.

I read about vacation depression here. Basically, if you take a trip that doesn't align with your personality, it can cause more stress than stress-relief. I don't think that this applies to me since I don't see a pattern for the types of vacations that stress me out. The only common denominator for my travel is me ... and that makes it all the more embarrassing.

What about you all? Do you struggle with travel at all? Have any of you had the 'perfect vacation' that just blew all other trips out of the water?

You are also free to comment and tell me I'm straight-trippin', boo.

Song Suggestion: Merry Happy by Kate Nash

Tipsy Tuesday: Valentines Day Recovery / Water Changes Everything

2012-02-14T13:03:00.000-08:00

Today is my Friday because tomorrow (on a 5:30 AM flight - gulp!) I leave for Nicaragua with some fun people. Oh and my husband's coming too. Ha!

Some remedies to recover from typical Valentines-ness.

Problem: Too much chocolate/ too many conversation hearts
Solution: Be satisfied. You ate all that crap, you should at least enjoy it :) Then brush your tooth-sweaters and be sure to flush it down with tons of water

Problem: Too much champagne on Valentines night
Solution: Sleep late, wear an eye mask, take a salt-bath and drink tons of water. Or have a bloody mary.

Problem: You got a large stuffed animal for V-day
Solution: Put him on the floor of your closet and make him the butler of your shoes. Name him Harold. But not really "Harold" cause that's the name of my closet shoe butler.

Problem: You don't have a traditional Valentine.
Solution: Make googly eyes at everyone until someone stares back. Then reel 'em in with a curling-come-hither-finger. Or... I'm your Valentine ;)

Source: familyfun.go.com via Beth on Pinterest

Problem: You do have a Valentine, but they forgot your gift
Solution: Let it go today, but bring it up at their birthday. "What? You wanted a birthday present? Well I thought it wouldn't be fair for me to be 2-up on you, so I just am going to lay low until I get that 2012 V-day gift. You're welcome."

Source: vulture.com via Jill on Pinterest

Problem: Your Valentine wants to take you to dinner but you didn't wash your hair this week and you have to get up early tomorrow.
Solution: Tell them the truth. And then when they mumble 'bullsh*t' give them the googly eyes from the "don't have a traditional Valentine?" solution. They'll either think you're interested in skipping dinner or just plain crazy. Either way, you'll get out of dinner.

Source: thecraftmonkey.blogspot.com via Maureen on Pinterest

Problem: One in eight people in the world don't have access to clean water.
Solution: charity:water. Donate to the site in honor of my 26th birthday, here! We're halfway to our goal, loved ones! Let's keep going ask my birthday is a month an a half away.

Song Suggestion: We belong together by Gavin Degraw (Happy Valentines Day, kids)

Flip it Friday: Writing it Out Loud

2012-02-10T07:13:00.000-08:00

I'm going to write a book.

I had the thought since college and it reappeared last night as I avoided a small panic before bed and then again this morning as I implanted my bad dreams (of losing teeth) into memory.

And they say you can remember your dreams by reiterating them to someone in your wakefulness. So here, I'm reiterating this dream to you. I will write a book.

If I was in the business of making disclaimers, I'd say that I make no promises for its publishing. It might live in a drawer (a metaphorical place on my hard drive). I might not start to write it until next year, but at least I have an idea now. I know what's awake enough inside of me to finally put pen to paper. And who knows, maybe it'll be good. Maybe it'll be crap.

I'm not ready to share what it is because then I'll be locked into that idea. What I will tell you is that is will not be a novel. I will not be making anything up. And no, it's not my autobiography. I'm [I hope!] not that shallow. It will be a commentary. It will be like blogging, but all in one place and all well-thought-out.

This girl also inspires me. Her "Field Notes" read my mind:

1. Last night crossing over the highway to the train, the city’s skyline over my left shoulder was clouded in gloom—completely invisible. The other day B said, eyeing the fog, “It’s like someone took an eraser to the tops of the buildings,” and it is.
2. My bangs are cut so bluntly, that every time I pass a mirror my heart whelps out in horror.
3. The office is filled with heavy intermittent sighing. I want to hide behind this wall and call out, “Is your life really that bad?”
4. When my day-to-day becomes well, very day-to-day—very wash my hair in the morning, button up my shirt, trudge to the train, stare at this computer, go home and make potatoes, begin again—I think about buying a plane ticket. It’s true. I think about wandering a different city with my hands balled up in my pockets, my throat thick from not speaking. But suddenly I am fiscally responsible and can’t justify allocating any money toward what is now egregiously frivolous. If it isn’t the money then it’s the idea of leaving, alone, and stretching out in bed without B beside me.
4a. I dated a boy, J, who landed in Chicago only after he’d been living in New York and then Seattle and Missouri, or wherever really. The point is that he’d bounced, consistently for years. His parents had a little house off the train line that feeds directly into the airport. One time, after several margaritas on his mother’s kitchen floor well after everyone had gone to bed, he said to me, “It is dangerous to ride the train home after work, because there is always the threat of continuing right onto the airport and never coming back.” That being said, that was a summer of instability and mosquito bites.

But my book wont be like the above bullets either.

So, on this Flip It Friday, tell me your dreams? In other words, what would you do if you knew you could not fail?

Source: art-sponge.com via C on Pinterest

How to Enter Modern Day Survival Mode/Advice I'm Giving Myself

2012-02-08T07:26:00.000-08:00

The modern ~~woman~~ ~~worker~~ ~~adult~~ person sometimes just has to pull up their britches and keep on trucking. We often get overstimulated rather than under and let me tell ya, it's overwhelming.

Survival mode: Being so bogged down with stuff to do that one has to trim the fat in their day and decide what really needs to be done. Out of the options of fight or flight, put up your dukes.

Some of you might know this as "finals week", "end of the quarter", "the publication goes live in x hours", "grades are due", "the G8 is coming to Chicago", "callbacks" or "sh*t hit the fan".

All Photos via Pinterest.

I've been busy lately. I've picked/torn/filed off all of my nails (after just painting them this past weekend!) from writer's block. We've had leftovers for dinner (which usually are only reserved for lunch) even though we have many fresh-meal options. I am only running a fraction of what I aspire to each day.

So how do we survive it all?

Here are my tips for surviving survival mode, keeping your friends/family and not looking homeless while doing it.

Health and Beauty Maintenance

- Stretch your hairstyles. Wash as little as possible and look up fun ways to do a bun to save you time in the morning. Say hello to more sleep.
- Don't get down on yourself if you don't stick to your usual workout routine. As long as you get moving everyday, let that be enough. Sometimes your time cannot be stretched. Let is go and catch up on the treadmill time after your deadline.
- Wear your glasses. Hide the eye-bags.
- Have a week's worth of work outfits ready in case you sleep in. You can still get dressed in the dark/with your eyes closed when you know what pants/shirt/socks go together. Plus, this will keep you from making a game-time decision to put on a "desperation outfit". You know you've had one.
- Keep a pair of nude/black/neutral shoes at your desk. I used to tote my shoes back and forth to work since I use public transit and commute in flats/Merrells Mary Janes. Now I keep all of my non-flashy pumps at work. I have an entire shoe drawer and I'm so lucky to have it.
- Get enough sleep. If you're stuck on a problem, go to bed if you can. Chances are you'll have fresh eyes and a clear head in the morning.

Friend and Family Maintenance

- Think twice before emailing/calling/texting. You're in survival mode and what comes out of your mouth might not be what you really mean. Think things through twice and even ask a 3rd party if what you're saying makes sense. You can always say "I'll get back to you" and think it through when you have a chance to slow down.
- Keep the appointments you've made, but make no more. You don't want to appear anti-social and you also don't want to keep piling on the obligations. Freeze your Calendar.
- Look a week/month ahead to see where birthdays are coming up. Use Facebook or your mom's memory to help you get them all mapped out now. Use an online service to help you send a card - at least - or have your significant other/roommate/mom remind you.

Media Maintenance

- Turn the TV off. Just do it.
- If you are chewing off your fingernails in frustration, try putting on some mellow music. Distract the immediate (medical term, I'm sure) part of your brain so that your deeper conscious can sort through a problem. I guess it works in classrooms too. Might I suggest Ron Pope's "Shoot Out The Lights".
- Close your email, turn off your phone. If you don't need these two things for the task at hand, then they are distractions just laying-in-wait. Give yourself a window of time when you can check them both and then turn them back off/log out.

Head/Heart Maintenance

- Be kind to yourself. Reward yourself for milestones or the job completion. Let yourself have a treat, but be wary about making food a reward. You're not running as much as you should, remember? Choose a low-cal popcorn, one piece of candy, as much sugar-free tea as you like, allow yourself to buy that book on Amazon, spend too much money on a candle at Anthropologie (it smells like "good boy"!), or just take a break and walk around in the fresh air.

Then get back to work.

Ok, long winded. Now you tell me. What do you do when in survival mode?

Tipsy Tuesday: Freelancing Tips

2012-02-07T09:12:00.000-08:00

I'm busy busy today/this week. I just found out I'm incompetent at work (who knew!?), so reversing that image will take some time. AND my lovely friends in Fort Worth are throwing me a free-lance bone and letting me a take a crack at some website content. Yippee Skippy (smooth peanut butter) for friends who care about my self esteem!

So here to phone it in is J.Mill's Google Reader feed. Design Sponge, take it away (my interpretations are in parenthesis. I like D*S, but sometimes their posts are painfully lengthy and we all - on the interwebs - love brevity!):

How to Get More Clients

1. Get Clear on Your Results (What, would you say, ya do here? - Office Space, anyone?)

2. Get Clear on Whom You Want to Serve (pick a niche)
3. Create Prices and Packages That Make Sense (Charging by the hour is for lazy, slow people)

4. Play Your Own Game (If you're a baker, eat the donuts; if you're a writer, read)
5. Have Conversations That Matter (Be and opportunist and make some of opportunities happen for yourself)

My favorite is point #3. Why should you be paid less if you were more efficient? Same goes for lazy people being paid more for filling a whole day with nonsense. Check out the descriptions and whole article on Design Sponge.

via

Pair this reading with a mug of black coffee and a liter or water to keep you hydrated in the 8-to-5. Then go run a few miles to keep from nightmaring the night away. I dunno why, but I nightmare less when I go to bed really, really tired. Or just get this App and dream romantic dreams. Credit goes to Mr. S for sending me that article. I had a weird dream about dating a solider who flew a helicopter. I guess I'm the one who gets the nightmares while Mr. S is the one who gets to ~~kill himself~~ fly in a Cessna a la last weekend.

Flip-It Friday: Public Postal, Private Postal?

2012-02-03T07:24:00.000-08:00

When I go to the local post office near my work, I usually shuffle at the door to find all of my letters, addresses and rehearse in my head what I want ("signature required; no there's nothing liquid, flamable or potentially hazardous in this box; have it arrive by Saturday"). I need to be prepared when I get to the front of the line cause I get one shot to make this go smoothly.

I've seen men storm out of line, frustrated, and women raise up their hands in disgust.

Customer Lady: So you're telling me that I can't ship this because you're out of the priority boxes?
Sassy Postal Lady: You can ship it, but you'd need to buy one our out boxes.
CL: But I already reserved one of your priority boxes online. You are supposed to have it. I paid for it.
SPL: But we're out.
CL: What is your back-up plan then?
SPL: Ma'am you can buy one of the boxes that we do have or you can have a box shipped to you from usps.com and then bring your materials back in another time.
CL: You're telling me I'd have to go home and have the shipping materials SHIPPED to me?!
SPL: Yee-ah.
CL: Can I talk to your manager?!
SPL: They're not in.
CL: What's your name then, cause I'll be calling in to report this lack of service.
SPL: You can read can't you? My name's on my name tag!

So you can see that I must not mess up when I get to the head of the line. There are only two old, hardened black women working at this branch at any time - and only one when the other's on lunch - and they don't take shit from anyone. They actually don't take anything from anyone. I'm scared to buy stamps.

Too bad you can't get the right size priority boxes at a branch... ever.

So, why is the government in charge of the post office? I can understand why vital records, the DMV and other heinously bad customer service offices are under the government umbrella, but why the mail?! It becoming obsolete and although I love sending mail (and getting it!), I hate the post office.

If the free market were allowed into first class mail, what would happen? Would it deteriorate or would it gain some competition and would customer service improve?

Help me predict the future:

What would happen if we privatize the USPS?

Quit It! (Not Really This Time... So Put The Phone Down)

2012-02-02T09:00:00.000-08:00

My first word(s) growing up were, "Topit!" ("Stop it!"). I'm a middle child with a bossy older sister and a bite-y younger brother.

So it should have come as no surprise when I quit my job out of the blue. I'm a solid quitter.

via, but I made an edit.

So I was surprised to see this article about people who can't/won't quit their jobs. I know it is not the best decision for everyone, but I cannot tell you how liberating it was to let that piss-poor job go and turn over a new leaf.

Even as some people in my life are struggling with their job happiness, I am optimistic for them. I think, "Yeah, you can hang onto that until your next raise/promotion/holiday." How eye-opening it is to see all of the reasons we won't quit.

Quitting for me was a gut-thing. I did it because I was tired and strung out and it was just the right time. Not everyone should quit when the going gets tough. And don't get me wrong, being unemployed was no cake-walk. I had to call on a lot of support from my family and friends to get me through. But I also got to take a step back and figure out what was best.

Some of you may use the points in the "quitting article" to spur you forward into action. You may ask for a raise, host a meeting with your boss to discuss your responsibilities, even ask for help. This might just give you some comfort to keep trudging through, knowing that other people are having an equally hard time. It might, also, help you realize that you may not have it that bad at work.

Don't be self-entitled (oh hey, America!), don't be rash, but also don't sell yourself short.

Pep-talk over.

How to Get Rich and Thin

2012-02-01T07:14:00.000-08:00

Gotcha. That's what all of those scams should say, anyway.

I was reading this blog, Broke and Healthy, that I used to follow for recipes but now she's expanded to writing about so much more. I admire her viewpoints. Take a look at what she has to say on wealth and weightloss!

Source: waterproofvalentines.tumblr.com via Evan on Pinterest

Rich and Thin

Source: google.ca via Colleen on Pinterest

Rich and Thin

Source: google.com via YLKphotography on Pinterest

Rich and Thin

Broke...

via

And healthy :)

Happy One-Year Blog-iversary

2012-01-30T07:44:00.000-08:00

I had a pre-written blog-iversary reminder typed in here months ago and set to post for today. I liked none of the milestone sentences I had prepared, so instead I'll give you some lovely sentiments from Pinterest to ease into this Monday and to celebrate my one-year of blogging at (un)solicited advice. I could thank the academy of people who stood behind me, pushing and got me to start two blogs that helped me get to the next step in my career. Being that it is awards season, I'll leave the hot air to the really famous. Cheers, friends.

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Source: iconjane.tumblr.com via ferhan on Pinterest

Source: yourcupofcake.com via Brooke on Pinterest

Source: instructables.com via Tyana on Pinterest

Source: 26.media.tumblr.com via April on Pinterest

Flip It Friday:Inside Jokes and some other lightness

2012-01-27T09:25:00.000-08:00

I know I already posted today. Here's one for those who aren't interested in all of the finance stuff.

Inside Jokes: Mega-funny or Mean?

Discuss!

Also, here are a few things to start your weekend right:

1) Nerd is the new stud.
2) Did you start off a new years resolution to get fit? I did by vowing to run/walk 5 miles a week and I already feel fitter! I am taking a tropical vacation next month and looking for a one-piece. You know how at the end of a vacation you aren't your sveltest? How do you deal with that? And what do you think of this one and this one?
3) See my other blog for how I'm spending my weekend!
4) WhatTheWhat? I'm older than Caboodle?

5) I used to live on West Oakdale (my live-alone-heaven studio) but not this terra cotta wonder! I could fill those bookshelves, though. It looks like they weren't even trying.

Flip It Friday: Equally Yolked Finances

2012-01-27T08:48:00.000-08:00

I am really on the finance train lately. So much so that I couldn't fit all of my noisy opinions on couples finance into this one post. I even cut out paragraphs of opinionated babble.

Yolked, get it? I know it's "yoked"... or do I?

But don't worry, I saved that babble for this post! Lucky ducks, all of ya!

So I've had this debate with single and married friends alike. How do you handle finances with income disparities within a household?

Let me tell you that income disparities are normal, but somehow still not easy to maneuver. I make half (or less than 1/2, depending on raises) of the salary of my spouse. It's hard to wrap your head around your worth sometimes when that's the truth. It's equally hard (maybe, I dunno, I've never been there) to be making dramatically more than your spouse and to feel like you're both pulling your weight.

It may not be a lie to split every cost as a couple(especially a married couple) downthe middle, but it can be damaging. I don't care who you are, if you aresplitting the cable bill, your groceries, vacations with your spouse 50/50 andgoing so far as to lay ourreceipts and writing each other checks, you be crazy. Even if you'resplitting it 70/30 you're ridiculous.

People might think I'm wrong onthis; I want you to leave your contradictory comments!

I know a couple who are married and split everything 50/50. He transfers money to her for the bills and she pays 'em out of her account. (I can only assume that they have no joint checking or at least don't both contribute to it regularly.) I think she does this because she works full time and he's a struggling artist. I think she feels like he's not pulling his weight.

Marriage (or yourequivalent union) is a partnership. You both own equal shares of your marriageand should be doing life together.

What am I missing? Do you ever feel awkward about income disparity in your household? Discuss!

Financial Infidelity (I've written this post 3 times now).

2012-01-26T08:22:00.000-08:00

ohmyword Ijustwroteawholepostandlostitbyclosingthewindow.

hrumpf.

Ok, well I was excited to share this post with you because it stemmed from a question from my friend B.Lill about when one crosses the line of financial infidelity and, alas, all of my good musings are awash and I am apissed.

Let me try to catch you up on the highlights:

Yes, financial infidelity is real and damaging. No, I don't believe I am financially unfaithful, especially according to this survey/article.

Mr. S and I both came into our marriage debt-free and money conscious. We save a ton of money (my entire salary!) to afford a nice down payment on a house in 2013, survive on one budget (no DINK problem here!) and bought our used car outright (heck no to car payments!).

Not us. Picture via.

Being financially stable is like a passion of ours. Here are some easy ways we avoid financial infidelity and stay on track with our goals:

Consider your expenses. It may benefit you to decide on a spending limit that you can be within and not have to share the deets of your purchase. Like, say, $200. Or say $50 (cause our bank, Chase, emails Mr. S if any purchase is over $50... oftentimes before I even sign the receipt...)

Mr. S and I are allotted the same amount each month to spend as we choose. An allowance, if you will. We can choose to spend less than our budget and roll that amount to the next month for bigger purchases or if we over-spend, we have to watch ourselves the following month as our debt to our group budget roles. I am lucky that we get equal amounts as I make half of what he makes. We think that although I bring in less money, my role in the relationship is just as important and therefore I shouldn't be restricted. Blah blah blah, I have it good.

We also keep all of our transactions public to one another by using the same checking account/credit card account and tracking it all with Mint.com [note to self: write another post about Mint.com and it's benefits/downfalls]. The only transactions we keep private would be ones on our personal cards. We each have a personal credit card that we use for buying each other gifts or for when we are buying things that are only for ourselves. We still report the cost of the credit card bill to Mint, but we keep the details of the purchases mum.

Now, some people cannot have a secret credit card. It may sound silly, but if the swipe of the credit card is too easy for you and you've been in the debt-doghouse before, consider limiting yourself to gift-buying with cash-only. If you are at a risk for financial infidelity by having a secret card, then don't get one. Cash is discrete but an ATM withdrawal is still immediately traceable. That way you only spend what you have and you wont ruin the joy of giving a gift by going into the poor house over it.

Some tricky situations arise when extra income comes through. Raises should be considered part of your joint income and should be applied to joint things - whether fun stuff like vacations or necessities like groceries or paying down debt. And yes, your debt is now a joint expense!

Bonuses and money made from side jobs (as long as the side job is not considered part of your necessary, monthly income) can be dealt with by the earner. Yes, you can keep all the money for yourself, but don't forget that while you were out fixing that old lady's computer for $40/hr, someone was at home doing your laundry, feeding your cats and making you brown bag lunches for the week! [Not that that's a real scenario...]

I have started to write this post 3 times now. If it's unclear on any point, please let me know. Also, if I missed something or you disagree, leave a comment below!

It's All Been Said Before, But Apparently Couples Aren't Listening

2012-01-23T07:14:00.000-08:00

More relationship advice. Go ahead and click away now if you're sick of it. I can't remember if I've been writing a lot of relationship advice lately, but I know it's been done. Cliche, of course, but on the heels of yet another celebrity split (apparently a shocker), and after meeting another set of newlyweds this weekend that boasted "We've only been married a few months... but at least we beat Kim Kardashian!" I feel I/we/you could use some friendly reminders.

Let's take the recent spotlight separation - Heidi Klum and Seal - for an example and dissect it into it's wrong turns.

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Their statement:
“While we have enjoyed seven very loving, loyal and happy (1) years of marriage, after much soul-searching (2) we have decided to separate.We have had the deepest respect for one another throughout our relationship and continue to love each other very much, but we have grown apart (3). This is an amicable process (4) and protecting the well-being of our children remains our top priority (5), especially during this time of transition.”

1) Marriage is based on a commitment (or, rather, should be) and commitment has nothing to do with the feeling of "love" or "happiness". Yes, you usually love your partner when you marry them, but if you based that marriage on your feelings you would love them when the sun shines and leave them when it rains. Why get married then? Why not just date, perpetually? Because you want to start a family with them, you want to have someone there to take care of you if you become a vegetable, or you want to be important enough to someone else that they trust you with their lives. Commitment based on feelings is childish and selfish. Which brings me to ...

2) Soul-searching is selfish. It implies that you are seeing what will "work" for you. Can you make this marriage work? Can you stand to keep living life alongside this person? It's all about you, huh? Marriage used to mean that two people were now a unit, acting as one. Soul-searching is an inward discussion and cuts the other person out. Of course you split up after "soul-searching". Your animalistic fight or flight response turns on your marriage when you become an "I" instead of a "we". Which brings me to...

3) Growing apart is product of your decisions. Now, wait. Don't get me wrong. All couples need to be able to spend time with friends or have hobbies on their own. You cannot literally spend every waking second together. Or maybe you can but it could get really annoying. A bit of separate time makes you appreciate the time you have together, but growing apart is an extreme symptom of a decision to be separate. In high profile, high stress, high travel, dual-career, multiple-child marriages oftentimes couples have to schedule time together to nurture their relationship. Regular date night, even if you have to make them so regular that it's the same restaurant reservation on the same night once a month, do it! Marriage is about growing with someone. Making time to listen to them, ask questions, focus on them will remind you why you make a great team in the first place. Put your phone down, call a sitter and go on a date! If you're in trouble, don't go it alone and don't ignore it. Seek counseling, go on a marriage retreat, do something annually to nurture your marriage (whether you have problems or not) and consider it preventative medicine.

4) Lies.

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5) If your children were your top priority, you'd work on your marriage. Period. Divorce just does something to a family. To the kids specifically. I know my marriage is still wet behind the ears, but I am channeling the advice of our church's mentor couples and other successful marriages in my life by saying that you have to work on your marriage for your kids. Your spouse comes first, your kids come second. That might be a tough pill to swallow, but you have to have a stable spousal relationship to effectively, joyously raise a family. People think that they are doing their kids a favor by not fighting anymore when they divorce. But divorcing before going to counseling, taking a retreat with your spouse, and investing in your marriage by remembering your commitment is like putting a bandaid on a bandaid instead of re-dressing the wound - it only covers up the problem and lets it fester beyond salvation.

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Here is a relationship series that my church did. I heard a few of these in person and found them really inspiring.

Marriage is hard. Divorce is harder. Don't take either lightly.

Think I'm wrong? Am I missing something? Do you have marriage advice for me? Comment below!

Flip-It Friday: You're Too Broke for That!

2012-01-20T09:49:00.000-08:00

Right off the top here I'm going to say that this question could get political. Please comment honestly, but with a conscious filter that this is a public forum. And if you must be crude to comment, go ahead, I just might delete your comment. Haha... like people ever comment anyway :)

So what bone am I picking? Welfare.

There has been a debate about whether those on welfare should have to pass a drug test to receive government assistance. I think this is just the tip of the iceberg. (P.S. I spelled "iceburg" the first time like Suburgatory, which, btw, is really funny and reminds me of Mean Girls...carry on.)

Should taxpayers have more of a say in how individuals receiving welfare spend their money? Whether it be having more strict guidelines with how food stamps can be spent or not allowing welfare dependent families to buy "extras" like pets or have satellite TV.

I once was behind a family with young children in the grocery line and they had boxes of donuts, several gallon jugs of sugary "fruit" punch drink, chips, greasy "salads" from the deli and pork cracklin's. Not one green vegetable on the whole conveyor belt and this is a local market that has extremely affordable produce. (A 5 lb bag of carrots for $2.99, hello!!) The parent's total was well over $100 but they only had to pay about $40 of it because of their Link Card.

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I grew up in a money-conscious household and my parents were very smart (from my perspective) on raising 3 kids on one modest salary. We rarely had "fake" food (didn't even keep soda in the house for a long time) nor did we have cable or satellite TV. Even now as I am making my own way, S and I cut back on the unnecessary to afford the things we need and value.

Priorities are in the eye of the beholder, but when it comes to a family's health or the well-being of children, I get riled up. To think, with the junk food they eat, they are making their children more at risk for high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity and other health-related illnesses. I don't believe that these families can afford huge medical bills if they can't even afford groceries.

So what do you think? Does something about a food-stamp family buying junk food just make your jaw hit the floor? Should those that get assistance from our tax dollars be able to "splurge" on the unnecessary? Am I being really insensitive and not seeing the big-picture?

Listen, Learn, Speak Out: SOPA, Congressmen and AT&T

2012-01-18T08:01:00.000-08:00

What is SOPA? (A biased article to explain and the actual bill.)

What do you think about it? Tell your congressman. Wikipedia can help you decide who that is.

Even Google got in on this.

In other news: I had a great time in Tucson with my husband and 'rents. I came back to a butt-load of work (at which I am happily chipping away) and the lights don't work in my interior office. I'd send you an iPhone pic, but AT&T sucks and I can't email them to myself. If you have AT&T and want to tell them to help you out with service, data coverage, fewer dropped calls then get this app and let them know when and where you experience trouble. If you live in Chicago, we've heard through the grapevine that data service should improve by April of this year.

Fool Me Once, Shame on You. Fool Me Twice, You Can't... Huh, You Can't Get Fooled Again

2012-01-13T11:22:00.000-08:00

Oh, good heavens, G.W.

We've all been a fool occasionally. As I am about to check out and go on a lovely weekend in Tucson, I'm reminded of airlines who have wronged me and airlines who are always there to help me book, patient when I am losing mine, and there to give me free peanuts.

I'm talking about you, Southwest Airlines!

As for those who have earned a hearty rejection from me? United Airlines. Strand me, jack up your prices and be inflexible in emergencies. Who cares if your corporate miles programs are the bomb (I tried bringing back "the bomb"... not yet? too soon for cliche retro?), you are a soulless corporation. Boo to you.

What's your airline experience? Any specific lines that you've written off? Any lines that you'd like to write off but you've racked up thousands of miles and they've got you by the wallet?

Bev Pairing? I'm having some Swiss Miss right now.

I Stole This Idea From REAL SIMPLE

2012-01-12T09:27:00.000-08:00

I used to love a cheesy magazine as much as the next girl. Celebrity fashion, make-up tips, how to pick out the perfect jeans for you.

And then I grew up and got sick of all that drama/unnecessary hoopla.

What I am not sick of? What is worth some glossy-good-glances? Real Simple.

First of all, the cover isn't glossy. It's matte and usually has some placid photography to both grab your attention and give your eyes a hug. Think Kim Kardashian in a deep-v swapped out for a stack-of-leather-books-pedestal for a bowl of pureed soup. Martha Stewart without the angry, judgmental, "you must measure your cinnamon before adding it to your scented wreath spice mix" eyes. It's not a "good thing" if you take all the fun out of it!

Please don't tell Martha I said that. She lived through prison by knitting an afghan. Peeps musta not been scared of (just) the knitting needles.

But Real Simple. They do this thing where they come up with different uses for everyday items. BLill first turned me onto this.

Some of the things are ridiculous (luggage tag to hold paint swatches, whhaaa?), but others are quite good (I'm talking about the tie-rack turned mail organizer!).

Being inspired to share, here are some of my double-duty household items:

We got this Nambe plate (we call it the love plate) for our wedding. We didn't register for it and had no idea what to do with this heavy, metal plate. So now, it's a spoon rest!

Hair ties. They bind decks of cards, stacks of bobby pins AND they act as child locks when looped around two conjoining cabinet knobs. For the cats. Not for children. The cats in our house are like children in that I want them to go away and not drag our food out of the cabinets and shred it.

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I also recently finished a small pot of jam. Instead of recycling the jar at a facility, I recycled it at home/work and refilled it with more jam. That way, I can take some spread to work without depleting the home supply or having to buy 2x the jam. I think I'm the only one who likes jam, so it takes me a while to get through one regular sized jar.

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What does double-duty in your house?

Early to Bed, Early to Rise

2012-01-11T14:55:00.000-08:00

So so of my friend might be astonished that I am looking forward to going to bed early this week as Mr. S is gone. We work on different schedules and he often stays up much later than I do and I always get up before him... even on weekends.

Here's an article for those early birds out there.

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I love this quote from William Blake, via Steve Murphy, the CEO of Christie's:

"'Think in the morning, act in the noon, read in the evening, and sleep at night."

Maybe this means a "C" title is in my future!

Tipsy Tuesday: Say "No" to No Commitment

2012-01-10T15:01:00.000-08:00

My list of single friends (or family members) is dwindling, but for those of your out there who still are, this is for you.

Its super cliche, but if you are with someone and know that it's not going anywhere you MUST let them go. For both of your sakes. Maybe you're on the fence (but you have clear-cut signs from them - that you may be ignoring), but you cannot just wait there... on that fence... ouch! Keep living your life and make it known to them that it's all-or-nothing with you.

One of my recent roommates (before I got married) did this when some guy was flipping between dating her and dating his ex-girlfriend (yikes!). She put her foot down and said, "Hey, it's fine if you want to date her, but we you can't have both. I'm [out-skis]." And not that this is commonplace, but once she stood up for herself, he respected her more. He eventually came around to date her exclusively and they're happily together now.

We've all hung onto people for too long before and it's only hurt more to end it. Rip the band-aid off quickly.

The following are lies you may have heard:

- He said he wanted to be friends and we went straight from dating to being friends. Seamlessly. I don't feel hurt at all. In fact, I'm so not-hurt he comes over to change the light bulbs when I need him and even brought his new girlfriend so I could meet her. We're. such. good. friends.

- We're free to see other people while we date. I mean, I'm not seeing anyone, but I could if I wanted to. I just don't want to...

- I'm still talking to him because he owes me money/has my sweatshirt/gives me that birthday gift. The second I get what belongs to me, I'm done.

- I need him.

- He needs me.

- I don't have anyone else in my life.

Lies, lies, lies. You're not friends, he's cheating on you, your stuff's not worth it, no you don't, no he doesn't, sure you do. You're reading this, aren't you?

You can't let anyone else in until you push him/her out. I've been on both sides of this situation and it's not worth hanging on. Draw a clear line in the sand and go your separate ways.

Sorry, this one was content-heavy and preachy. I get fired up about this nonsense.

Bev? How about something with, appropriately, bitters :)

You're Invited! [to pay]

2012-01-09T09:00:00.000-08:00

Ever been invited to someone's house and asked to pay for part of your stay/entertainment/food?

It's happened more than once this winter season - to me and others - so I thought it was a worthy blog topic.

Whether the hosts are inviting you for dinner or for the weekend, you should never be required to pay for things. Of course, a courteous guest always offers to pick up lunch or brings fresh flowers, local cheese or a fun wine. But the host should never require for the guest to pay for things. Ever.

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If you are hosting a large meal and want to spread the burden of the cost evenly, make it a potluck. That way, people can choose to spend $2 on rice or $50 on a cheese tray.

If you want to cook the whole thing yourself, stick to your menu and stick to your budget. Don't overdo it in the cash department just to impress people. I can't tell you how many times a roast chicken (feeds 4 with sides) for under $8 has wowed people.

If you want to host a party to collect money for a cause, suggest a donation amount, but leave room for people to be more generous or conservative. Your guests may surprise you.

If you want to give out party favors, don't require that the guests pay for those either. If you can't afford to give party gifts, don't give 'em. People should be happy just to hang out with you, right?

I understand that you may be required to pay for your parking outside of their home (most people are on their own when it comes to that in my area because we live so close to public transit stops that people could get there for $2.25 if they choose.), but once they are in your house, you pick up the tab.

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It's perfectly acceptable to go out to eat in a group and ask that the tab be split, but be kind and let your friends know ahead of time that that's the arrangement. You don't have to outright tell them they have to pay; you can suggest it in a way that makes them feel like they are part of the decision: "Hey, S and I were thinking that if we went to tapas, we could share the pitchers of sangria, the cured meats and the tab. That way, we can afford to taste more things!"

Bottom line: If you cannot afford to pay for the entire meal(s) when you host (and afford the water bill of their showers and linen laundry), then don't host.

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Although people may reserve the right to do things their way in their home, you also reserve the right not to come :) Enjoy.

Resolutions for 20-Somethings

2012-01-09T08:37:00.000-08:00

Love this list. I think we could all stand to learn a thing or two:

Before you status update, Tweet, Tumble or Instagram, pause and say to yourself, “is it entirely necessary that I share this morsel of thought with my entire social network?”and if the answer is not, “yes, I absolutely must,” then step away from the Internet.

Know which candidate you’re going to vote for in the upcoming presidential election, and know why.

Enough with the 14-day juice cleanses. If you want to lose a little weight quickly, eat less and exercise like crazy. If you want to lose a lot of weight slowly, do whatever Jennifer Hudson did.

If you really like the person you’re hooking up with and would like them to be your boyfriend/ girlfriend, find a way to tell them, and hope for the best. If you don’t and wouldn’t, stop.

Find a way to save approximately 300 dollars and spend it on a flight to see a friend or family member who lives far away.

Please stop liking the Kardashians, all of them. It’s not helping anyone, least of all the Kardashians.

Spend less than or equal to the money you earn each month.

Wear clothes that fit you, especially to work.

Call someone on the phone at least once a week, and speak to him or her for at least ten minutes.

Start preparing now to get over the fact that Facebook is probably going to change again in six months. You’re not going to deactivate your account. You don’t know how.

Wait 30 seconds before you look up a fact you can’t remember on your phone, and try to remember it using your brain. This is what the olden days were like.

Replace one terrible reality show you’re currently watching with one wonderful scripted show currently available on television. Swap suggestion: Real Housewives of Anywhere for HBO’s Enlightened.

Try that food you think you don’t like but have never actually tried, unless it’s brussels sprouts. They really don’t need any more attention.

Cut one person out of your life who you truly do not like and add one person who you truly do. Note: not on Facebook, on Earth.

If you’re still blacking out regularly, you should stop.

Volunteer once over the next 90 days. You’ll feel really good about it, and probably end up volunteering again over the next 275.

Tell someone who you love that you love them on a more regular basis. To their face, not in a text.
Back up your entire online life onto an external hard drive, especially your photos.

Crap or get off the pot. This applies to whatever thing you’re not doing that you should just sack up and do already.

And in the eternal words of Tom Haverford, “TREAT YO SELF!”

Via here. Seen here first.

The Best Show You're Not Watching

2012-01-07T07:16:00.000-08:00

Bob's Burgers.

Seriously one of the best new discoveries of 2011. (Thanks Aunt Celeste and Uncle Bob!)

It went off the air last year (I blame Michele Bachmann) but now it appears it will be back in 2011 (March 11. Take that Ms. Bachy).

So get caught up and join me for Season 2!

This is not a sponsored post. What, do you think Fox would PAY me to write about their cartoons? I do this for free, sir. Out of the goodness of my funny bone.

And if you need another reason to watch this show - aside from my endorsement - know that Louise is played by Kristen Schaal of Flight of the Conchords.

Flip It Friday: NYR Music

2012-01-06T15:00:00.000-08:00

Now for a lighter FIF: Your New Years Resolution Music. NPR is calling all dont-quit-your-day-job DJs to make the ultimate playlist.

2-fold question: What is your NYR and what song(s) will help you accomplish this?

For instance, if you want to lose weight, what songs would help keep you jogging? If you want to cook at home more, what songs will inspire you? If you want to be sure to return all emails on time, what songs do you listen to at work.

Like a beverage pairing, but with music.

Mine
NYR: to "go" 5 miles a week. Sounds weak, but I am not athletic, so to run/walk/bike/dance/shop for 5 miles is an attainable but inspiring goal.
Bev pairing: water to hydrate after a workout.
Song suggestion: I'm Not Your Boyfriend Baby by 3Oh3 (Warning: Most of my workout music is explicit. What can I say, the beats are good.)

Flip It Friday: NBC's The More You Know (the more you're scared)

2012-01-06T07:39:00.000-08:00

I'm reading Jack Abramoff's new book called Capital Punishment. After seeing the movie Casino Jack, based on the same Jack, and getting into his book, I feel that I can trust no one in authority.

Not that I knew enough about Tom Daley before to make a judgment on his character, but after 50 pages of Capital Punishment I'm think he's a Jack-A of another sort.

I feel that the more I watch food documentaries, or read about people who have no clean drinking water, or now that I work under some important VPs I just don't have faith in authority.

The people we trust to make decisions, the people we elect, the people we deem respectable are, in fact, abhorrent when held under a microscope.

Aren't we all, though? Talking with my brother about a post I put on my more personal blog (I know what you're thinking, "Doesn't she shed enough emotional skin on this site?!"), we discussed how everyone has baggage to carry and a shadow of past decisions to live next door to. Laying down on the floor may make the shadow go away, but it also makes you immobile.

Back to the point. If messed-up is normal and the people we see as superior are messed up, does that mean that it's ok because they are being normal?

Between my side reading, articles on NPR and the documentaries I watch on the weekends (for fun?! seeing a cow shot in the head and then drained of its blood... gag... fun?), I am seriously wondering about what humanity is up to.

Should our superiors be held to a higher standard or forgiven for their humility and supported for doing a hard job? Of whom are you skeptical?

I might post another FIF later as this one is heavy and disjointed.

99 Problems and B*tches Be All Of 'Em?

2012-01-05T14:55:00.000-08:00

Here's a map of the female heart to help you.

BTW, I love this print.
Originally seen on I Love Charts.

How to Change Your Last Name After Getting Married - Chicago Style

2012-01-03T07:38:00.000-08:00

I wrote this email to a good friend who became a Mrs. in October. Yes, I am just copy/pasting this from the email.

So You Think You're a Mrs. - Chicago Edition

Now let's prove it!

In the weeks it took me to change my name on all things important, I carried my ID, passport, SS card and marriage certificate around with me in a large, brown envelope. I would also recommend having $20-$40 cash on you at all times as that may save you some ATM fees. It will take a while to change your name, so patience is a virtue! Its all part of the chaos of being married. You know, I know b/c I've been ripened by 7 months of it! (7 months today: 1-3-12)

1) Get your marriage Certificate. You got your marriage license before you got married, now you have to get the cert to prove that you are married. You can do this at the Daley Center in the same place you got your marriage license. You should order 2+ copies of the certificate as some systems may require you to mail in an original copy. These copies will cost you money, so be prepared.

2) Get your new Social Security Card. Take your marriage cert, current social security card and driver's license/passport to the social security office on 77 W Jackson.

3) Get a new Driver's License. Bring your new SS Card (heck, I started carrying all ID with me at this point, just in case) and CASH with you to the Thompson Center (downstairs) or any DMV. The DMV in the Thompson Center doesn't take Visa, so I had to get cash out of an ATM to go there. I think it's $5 to change your name. Make sure they get your name right (they spelled mine wrong) and be prepared for them to take your picture. They wouldn't let me use the old photo. Here is a chart of what IDs you can bring with you to prove your new name. We qualify as "Duplicate/Corrected ID". You should be able to elect to have your voter's registration changed here too. If you want to change your address, you may need to bring a piece of mail with you (one that has your name and new address on it).

4) Passport. I did mine via mail, but I think you can do it in person somewhere. Mail in old passport, DS 82 Form, renewal fee of $110 (check), original marriage cert and a color photo. I had a passport photo taken at CVS. Read the DS 82 Form thoroughly as I couldn't tell if you staple your passport photo to it or not. It's a tricky form.

5) Take new ID and/or SS Card to your work and get your benefits changed to your new name. Your HR should be able to assist you.

6) Update banks and credit cards. Some banks will let you walk in with new ID and change it there. Some (like our online bank, Ally) will make you fax in proper ID and a copy of your marriage cert. to qualify for a name change.

7) If you have any separate loans (school or otherwise), utilities in your name, investments, doctor's office, and are registered to vote, get those changed as well.

Photo of Mr. and Mrs. S 7 months ago. That's me on the left.

I have yet to change my Ally bank account, my voter's registration card (I got a new one with my ID, but they spelled my name wrong the first time and it didn't get corrected on the voter card), and my American Airlines rewards account. Gotta get that changed before I head to Nicaragua in February!

What am I missing? What's different about how you changed your name? Did anyone else think that changing your last name should be easier since people get married all. the. time.??

Drink Pairing: something hot! 2012 is coming in in cold style. Woke up to freezing temps this morning and was glad I wore my merm to work today!

Tips for Taking Care of Yourself in Busy Times

2012-01-02T09:05:00.000-08:00

I do nearly all of these. What do you do to take time for yourself and keep your sanity?

Source: thefreedomexperiment.com via Amanda on Pinterest

Flip-It Friday: Brevity

2011-12-30T09:00:00.000-08:00

My other blog, Addressing the Corner, was born out of a debate I had with my high school creative writing teacher. "If you aren't going to write so that people can understand (and want to read), then why not go write yourself to death in a corner?!" He said.

Being able to let go of words that don't further your message is tough, but should be an active part of writing.

Do you think that in a world of micro-bloggers that we are losing the art of words? Or is condensing our points into 140 poignant characters making us more effective communicators? Does it hinder or refine art?

I got in a debate with my father-in-law about this over Christmas.

Here's one perspective.
Microblogging might be what you make it.
Biting, sassy words from a copy writer.

What do you think?

How to Avoid my 2011 Health Pitfalls

2011-12-29T09:59:00.000-08:00

My Symptoms: Brittle, frizzy hair. "Lesions". Nose bleeds. Dry skin.

TMI.

Sorry, kids, but that's what my 2011 doctor and beautician visits have included. Hair stylists, facialists, dermatologists, internal medicine docs, allergists and ear/nose/throat docs have concluded that we (I) need to achieve one thing in 2012 to be healthy: hydration.

Ok, that's an over generalization. But for me, hydration has been a common vein.

I seriously saw more docs this year than I feel like I saw in previous years. I guess that's what having health insurance (and a dehydrated body) will do for/to you.

My Causes: Hair dryer. Space heater. Fire place. Hot showers. Allergy pills that dry my nose out. Dehydrating drinks that counteract my h2o - alcohol, coffee, tea.

via All Women Stalk - more tips for dry hair

I drink a TON of water, so let's get that out of the way. My friend Sarah is a healthcare professional and says that you should drink 1/2 of your body weight in ounces per day. You weigh120 lbs = 120 oz, and half is 60 oz/day = 7.5 cups. Her comment is found here.

But that might not be enough.

Let that sink in. You can drink 8 glasses a day and that might not be enough. You have to hydrate yourself from the inside out and the outside in. Heat sucks the moisture from your skin. The air is also dryer here in Chi-town in the winter than it is in the summer. Low humidity is good for your hairstyle but can suck the moisture out of your body.

My Solutions: Dry hair less and use a protective serum. Lotion, lotion, lotion. Shorter, cooler showers (I know, tear!). Ointment-type hand creams. Antibiotic ointments. Cut back on allergy pills (even if that means more sneezing) or alternate what pills I use. Wash hands instead of using an alcohol-based sanitizer and then use lotion.

And while you have hydration on the brain, I'll plug my new charity of choice again:

Charity : Water blog

Beverage pairing: clean water for all people.

What to Resolve for NYE

2011-12-28T07:33:00.000-08:00

Do you have a new years resolution?

I'm reading that some people are tossing them out of the window and just living 2012 like they did 2011. Fine, fine. But if you're going to change something, why not resolve to change it when you have the support of the world and their resolutions too?

Lost on what to resolve? Here are some strange/sincere/silly suggestions:

- Eat dessert. Whenever it's available.
- Do a walking tour of your hometown or some place familiar.
- Go to bed an hour earlier (or later... but do something awesome with that hour!).
- Pick a new tv series and follow it religiously.
- Immerse yourself in a new author's works and finish the lot of 'em.
- Cook "Around the World" by making a dish a week that represents another country.
- Become a "Yes man", but within reason. Not like Jim Carrey.
- Incorporate a new article of clothing into your regular attire (ponchos, scarves, argyle).
- Give up holding grudges.
- Live on less and save or donate the rest.
- Vow to do one thing that scares you a month (ski, see a movie alone, sing in public)
- If you haven't been in a while, go to the dentist!
- Give up caffeine (or don't, haha!).
- Instead of trying to lose weight, vow to mind portion sizes and keep a food journal.
- Date wildly in 2012. Whether you have a permanent person to date or whether you are still open to suggestion. If you're shy, ask for phone numbers. If you're used to meeting people at bars, approach someone in an art museum. Walk up to the bassist after a metal show. If you're dating/married don't forget to date that person. Ask them out. Wear perfume. Turn up the charm! [Note: This is not a hint to S. I feel well dated... er, you date me well... er... you know what I mean.]

Maybe my favorite suggestion: Treat Yo Self

Drink pairing? Champagne of course!

Note: I am still not drinking until New Years. I got through the holidays only having 1 beer because I couldn't find an ibuprofen. I think it was a fair trade.

Flip It Friday: What do your holidays look like?

2011-12-23T08:00:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving:

My brother owns his own landscaping business and we all have company shirts!

Dad ~~carving~~ picking apart the turkey leftovers and my brother and friend Heidi are helping us make a mess. I think this is my tired-but-so-thrilled face.

After Thanksgiving:

I made him trim a tree and listen to stories of every little ornament. It was important to me and he got (fake?) excited!

And then this happened. Cat criminals tore down the tree with their bare claws!

And then S made it his mission to find a way to keep the tree upright after the base got broken. We ended up using a stand for a real tree. Still works!

But leans....

The oranges are to fend off the cats. I read a lot of old-wives tales to try and keep the cats away. Turns out they're mostly scared of it now because they never know when the tree will fall down on top of them again.

Good tree. Bad kitty.

Merry Christmas.

What do your holidays look like? Comment with a link/photo/description!

How to Be a Lady

2011-12-21T13:05:00.000-08:00

Funny story.

I was in a white elephant gift swap a few years ago and got this wonderful book:

via

When I opened it up, I saw that the front page was inscribed. I forget the exact phrasing, but with all seriousness, it went something like this:

"Dear [daughter's name] - I hope this helps you find your man. xoxo, Mom".

No joke.

The girl was single at the time (though happily married now!) and was giving this book away (like the plague it was!). Poor mom. Poor girl.

So what I saw this post on All Women Stalk (a new blog obsession of mine), I thought it would be perfect to share. I mean, who isn't going to try to make a few changes in the upcoming new year? It's good advice for men too!

Tipsy Tuesday: Battling the Cobras, a Tale of Time Management

2011-12-20T08:19:00.001-08:00

My new boss in my new job is awesome. He's hands-off but always in your corner and encourages people to think for themselves while pooling their resources. The best of being a team-player and leader, if you ask me.

Although I work in a fiery industry (fire protection, rather), my boss encourages us to remind ourselves that we are not in the business of putting out fires. No one should call us with an emergency. We are respected professionals whose time matters.

That said, we always have a list of to-dos beating down our office doors. My boss's philosophy on this is "kill the closest cobra".

You may be in a room of snakes, all of which are slithering your way. You don't need to tomb-raider whack them all in one swing (i.e. finish your list in one day), you just need to kill the closest cobra (take care of the most pertinent item).

So with the holidays ~~approaching~~ here, we all have some quick cobras coming our way. Things that we need to do before we ~~check out~~ leave for vacation or things on which we need to collaborate with others before they leave.

So time management advice? List your snakes, then whack them in order of importance.

Now, I don't support the killing of actual snakes. PSA on that one here.

He's not a cobra. He's a good lil green snake!

Even list making sometimes doesn't help us stay the course to check, check, check victory. Here are some of my personal tips for accomplishing your list:

1) Build in breaks. Tell yourself you can take a bathroom break or go talk to someone down the hall after you finish typing your next page. (Yes, bathroom breaks are sometimes just a way for us to avoid work... you know you do it!)

2) Honor your breaks. If you say you can walk after the next mile marker, then let yourself walk. If you keep lying to yourself (i.e. "Just run for 1 more min, you can do it!"), then you'll never trust your breaks and you'll end up giving up sooner.

3) Slow down. If you make mistakes while you work, you'll have to go back and fix them, which can be time-consuming.

4) Switch it up. For every hour of doing an easy task, switch it up and do a harder/less pleasant/lengthier task for 30 min. You can feel like you're getting 2x time the work done AND not have to do that difficult project in one sitting. Plus, most of us can't get past writer's block or being stuck on a problem just by staring at it.

5) Get out! I feel better when I take some time outside during the day. Walking around on my lunch break allows me to get some fresh air - regardless of the weather, get a change of scenery and get my legs moving after sitting all morning. Being inside all the time can actually make you sicker/weaker. So, get OUT!

___

Also, on this Tipsy Tuesday, I'd like to announce that I am not drinking for the majority of December. I have been curious about resetting my body's alcohol tolerance for a while. Just one week after quitting alcohol I got a facial. The technician told me that my face looked "plump" with moisture and well hydrated. I've never gotten this report from a facialist before. They usually say that I'm dehydrated and that I need to "pound the water" even if I drink 8 - 10 glasses a day. I think that just cutting out alcohol has allowed my body to properly hydrate for the first time in a while. I'm feeling great so far and will keep you posted.

Drink of choice for the non-alchies? Tea. I am leaning on tea like a crutch right now. It still can dehydrate, but has antioxidants, light caffeine and is warming on these cold days!

Have you ever given up alcohol? How did it make you feel? Notice any benefits? Why did you give it up? What did you drink instead?

My Morning Mate by Teavana. A gift from my aunt and cousin.

Double Duty

2011-12-19T10:45:00.000-08:00

This is for my thrifty friends who are looking to make their household items do double duty! I know there are a few of you out there and maybe even more now that the holidays are here (we all have less time/money and need to make ever minute/dollar count!)

http://manofthehouse.com/home/projects/new-uses-for-everyday-items

I've seen cabbies use rubber bands as this article suggests, but I'm skeptical of all of the toothpaste uses...

Trying to Comment?

2011-12-15T11:24:00.000-08:00

I've had some friends and family say that they've had trouble commenting.

I just went through the process myself and am happy to report it work! Even using the new (awesome) browser, Google Chrome.

Here's how:

Select "Comment on this post" or "[#] Comments" at the bottom of the post.
Type in the text box provided.
"Comment as" should be filled in with either your Google ID, Anonymous, or another alias. If you fear giving out information online, you may comment anonymously, but please leave your name in the text so I know who you are!
Then click "publish".
You will be redirected to a similar screen that asks you to type in the characters for a letter/number validation. This is a built in safety feature that keeps all comments authentic.
Then click "publish" again.

See your comment? Great!
Don't see your comment? Let me know... I'll try to help you figure it out.

Tipsy Tuesday: Increase Your QOL (Quality of Life)

2011-12-13T09:24:00.000-08:00

I've been a whirlwind of ups and downs lately.

But enough about that. I want to give you some advice for hanging onto your hat this holiday season. No matter what bothers you (work, family, friends, a pack/blank social calendar), here are some of my tips for cooling-it.

Be sincere. If you are mad, express it lovingly. If you are apologizing, really mean it. Talk things through in your head so you don't fly off the handle. We all stay up late wrapping presents (eh-hem, like last night) and that makes us a little more reactive or sensitive in the mornings.

Be relevant. If you needn't say/do it, don't. Don't stress yourself out over the unnecessary. If you run out of holiday stamps for the Christmas cards, it's OK to use the liberty bell ones. ITS OK.

via Tiny Prints.

Have perspective. Someone is always going to out-Christmas you (matching sweater pictures, perfect holiday cookies, gifts mailed on-time). But someone will also make a worse fool of themselves at the holiday work party. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. If you consider dancing on the table in front of your boss "losing" then don't drink so much. In fact, maybe we should all give up alcohol for new years... hmm?

Breathe. And while you're stepping back to breathe, look at the panoramic picture. How is your action relevant? What can you see from your perspective? From their perspective? Are you being sincere? I read this cool technique on Mal's blog Sunday Morning Sugar. I did it at my desk and only got to 2 reps before I felt oh-la-la. Try it and report back!

How are you getting through the holidays? Do you stress? Do you let it roll off your back like a duck?

All unlabeled photos via Pinterest. Yay, work allows it again!! [But shhh. Don't tell them I know!]

Reads

2011-12-07T09:38:00.001-08:00

No advice today. This week has been all up in my grill.

Read this in the mean time. You know you can trust her, she's a Jenny too!

Flip It Friday: Sometimes There is an "I" in Team

2011-12-02T13:28:00.001-08:00

Do you like working in teams or by yourself?

And when you have to work the less preferred way, how do you manage?

Lend me your thoughts, ye independent and ye group thinkers!

[If you are having trouble commenting, try signing in with your Google (gmail) account and make sure that pop-up blockers are off. Blogger requires you to put in a visual code which it gives you in a window that pops up after you make a comment. I know, it's hard. I'm looking into making it easier. Keep trying, friends and comment below if you have figured it out and can help those who haven't!]

It's Beginning to Feel a Lot Like Stress-mas

2011-12-01T12:48:00.001-08:00

If you're like me, then you're just now getting really motivated (or motor-mated, right Maddy?) for Christmas. And if you're also like me, then you are about to drown a pair of black cats for tearing down your beloved Christmas tree with their bare, menacing claws. Deep breaths.

One of the reasons the tree and its trimmings were special to me was because somewhere after believing in Santa and before being out on my own, I didn't really liked Christmas.

It was a season of "I want." It was financially draining and that certainly affects a family. It was stressful and travel-ful but not the fun kind of travel. The kind of travel where you are stuck in the backseat of a sedan with 2 siblings side-to-side and the one on the right of you is asleep against the cool, stable car door (jealous*) and the one on the left just spilled canned nuts all over the seat and is squishing you even more to try and get all the little peanutty chunks out of the cracks of the faux leather and the whole car smells like warm string cheese and banana.

The winter I was 16 I bought a Christmas tree, ornaments, lights and garland with my babysitting money. I love that tree. It stood for independence, personal style, life and hard work and hope - all that was good about the holidays. It was probably the largest purchase I had made for myself at the time. I put it in my room to have my own vignette.

Every year I put up this tree. In my childhood room. Sharing it with my family when we didn't buy a tree collectively. Putting it up in my dorm room on top of the TV which lived on top of the minifridge (quite a tower!). In both of my city apartments and now in my first apartment with my newest, closest family - my husband.

Taking its disassembled pieces and all of the little accessories out of the box was a joyful and emotional experience for me. I took them all out of their newspaper and tissue wrapping to reminisce when I got each one and who gave it to me. I coached S to nestle the heavy ones on thicker branches and closer to the trunk and to use the plain silver ones as filler to hide the naked wires in between. Not that he needed coaching but I needed to voice my theory for the tree, to share the process that I went through annually with this now needle-flinging decoration.

So when S came into the bathroom while I was in the middle of a different routine (morning make-up) and gently broke the news to me that the cats had torn the tree down and broken a ceramic angel ornament I was surprised that I didn't immediately whip down the hallway in a rage.

"It's just stuff," I told him later that day.

He seemed to be even madder than me. I think he saw how touched I was by all of the little things in bubble wrap and old laundry sacks and didn't want me to feel like Christmas was broken. Granted, I was not happy, but I was not destroyed either.

Yes, we stayed up until midnight decorating it and running out for a few strings of white lights when we couldn't locate my old ones. He and I drank beer and wine, respectively, and make the trimming a party set to the sounds of Bing Crosby Pandora radio. Mumbling through the wrong lyrics to White Christmas, S chasing me around with a vacuum when I dropped pine needles and blew dust off of boxes, turning up the fire on full blast. The whole thing was Christmas.

I think I wasn't as crushed because I still had the experience of decorating and we made some new memories.

Also, because I know that I can now beg for a new tree and will get to do this all over again this weekend!

With that in mind, spend your money wisely this holiday season. Be responsible. Spend local. Be thankful for what really matters because everything else is "just stuff".

Want some really cool stuff (if you must)? Join me in supporting small local business with this awesome sounding bazaar: Chicago's Renegade Craft Fair Holiday Market or look for Renegade in your area (they have other major cities too!). Thanks for the tip, Anna!

Ten Thanks Thursday

2011-11-24T09:08:00.000-08:00

This Thanksgiving, I'm not going to list the usual things for which I'm thankful. Here's a weird, but honest list.

1) My broken eyes. I don't see very well without artificial assistance. No, not a seeing eye monkey, but glasses or contacts. Why am I thankful for broken eyes? Because I get to wear cool glasses and it reminds me that I live in a time, a country, and a health system that allow for people like me (broken) to see. And eyes are pretty amazing, yes!?

via

2) Roasts. No, not the kind that go well with gravy. Well, maybe also the kind that go with gravy. I mean the kind of roast where comedians make fun of each other. A good sense of humor is gold in my book. And people who can both take a joke and give one are solid-statue-gold.

via

3) 4:30. I am thankful for the home stretch of the workday when the evening is full of possibilities and you can knock out that last project to feel productive and bounce all the way to the train stop. Or maybe I'm thankful for 6:15 when I'm home, showered, in clean pj's and on the couch eating snacks or pondering dinner. Yeah maybe the latter because the whole dirty-train-ride-with-yappy-general-public is over.

4) I'm thankful for clean sheets and a husband who does laundry. But not my laundry. He's scared to wash panty hose, sweaters, underwear, etc. for fear of shrinking, pilling, fading, etc. But he does a mean sheet!

5) Metabolism. I would say high metabolism, but I think mine is slowing. I'm just grateful that I can eat slop occasionally and not turn into an amoeba of floating bones and fat.

6) USPS. Yes, those people are angry SOBs most of the time, but it's amazing that you can write a letter and send it across the world, huh? And I love writing letters!

7) Inside jokes. Not the exclusivity of them, but the fact that they can be conveyed in a look, a word or a gesture. Instant fun and laughter!

via

8) Pundits. 'Cause being told what to think is the new black. Actually, it's amazing how informative they are and how they reach a generation would not be interested in news or current events otherwise. Look at regular news and how biased that is... do you think listening to pundits is any more slanted? [I'm thankful for NPR too.]

via

9) The internet. Isn't it amazing how you can find almost anything within a few seconds? Remember encyclopedias? Your children (or grandchildren) wont!

10) I'm thankful that I don't live in North Korea. S and I have watched some documentaries (you know, buy documentarians - inside joke!!) and have had some NK talks lately. Its really shocking how a country can be under that type of oppression in this day and age. So thankful that my family and I are all safe and healthy where we are!

What have you found lately for which to be thankful? Gimme your weirdest notions!

Common Sense on a Blogroll Wednesday: Shout Outs for Makin' It Rain Pennies

2011-11-23T07:35:00.000-08:00

Do you hate fun, creativity and the internet? Then you are probably the company for which I work. They just blocked Pinterest. Get ready for some terrible stock photos via the internet on this blog instead of fun inspirations from P--terest. (It hurts too much to say its name.)

Do you love fun, creativity, individuals (not people, people in general are terrible, individuals can be great), reading, blogging, fun (yes, 2x) and the internet? Then maybe Pay a Blogger Day (Nov 29th) is for you.

No, I'm not asking you to pay me. Not anytime soon anyway!

I blog because I like it and its good practice and a resume builder for me. I spend no money to make my blog (unless you count the money I spend on the things of which I take pictures- drinks and toys for children), so I need no money from it. To be honest, I was sorta scared to ask for sponsors or hock my blog on other sites. I just want to love it and not be worried about tying it to a PayPal account.

But if you are looking to put a few dollars in the caps of some virtual street performers, you can do so through Flattr. What a neat concept.

And who could you flatter? How about some of my favorites who are NOT making a living from their blogs, but who probably could if they had the right support:

Waiting for Sunday

Newlyweds on a Budget

Sense and Stilettos

None of these people asked me to share their links. I just like their blogs (for content, relatability and honesty) and they're not famous people (as far as I know).

There are tons of good blogs out there, but some are just on the cusp of fame! Who are you loving that is an up-and-comer? I'd love to add them to my blogroll.

Tipsy Tuesday: Leave Yourself Alone

2011-11-22T09:20:00.001-08:00

I am not a doctor and my opinion is just that. Don't go off your meds on my account and certainly consult your doctor before making any drastic changes. There, I said it. Now let's move on.

As we head into winter, chances are we'll experience a series of ailments. Running noses, chapped lips, dry skin, cold sores, colds, etc. Yuck, right?

To combat all these symptoms we take pills, use creams, take vitamins, eat cough drops, slather chapstick, etc.

Mmm Chapstick

But then we're building a tolerance to the pills, peeing neon yellow expensive pee water, getting cavities from sleeping with cough drops in, drying out nose out with allergy pills just to Vaseline it up to keep it from cracking and bleeding. Yuck, I know.

So how do we stop the cycle of self-medicating?

Just leave yourself alone.

Don't take medication to counter the side affects of your other medication. Take the smallest dose possible to cure what ails ya, which may be smaller than the recommended dose. Or find a (more) natural alternative. If you have a headache, for instance, see if you can treat the cause of the headache and not the symptom (i.e. Are you dehydrated? Are the lights - or your computer screen - too bright? Do you need more sleep? Are you under stress?)

In the winter/low humidity, your body is naturally more dehydrated. Drink lots of water, use basic moisturizers without fragrance or additives (like body oil).

via

Don't scrub your skin (or your face or your hair for that matter) when you shower. You should be more scared of losing that protective layer of "schmutz" than you are of being "dirty". Some oil on your skin is necessary to protect it and why not let your body's own oil be it's own protectant. Chances are you aren't allergic to your own oil :) Apparently taking hot showers can also get rid of that protective oil. I refuse to think about that though as hot showers are my saving grace!

Vitamins may be helpful to some people (the elderly, the pregnant), but most people don't need vitamins. You are better off eating healthy foods to get your vitamins as your body can break them down and absorb them better when they are in food.

Use bar soap instead of liquid soap. Liquid soaps tend to have alcohol or another additive to keep them in their liquid state. The additives can be drying.

So, just think about getting back to basics and just leave yourself alone! So what do you do to get through the winter healthy?
Do you get a flu shot?
Do you use petroleum jelly on your lips or cracked skin? I just read this article that made me think differently about P.J.

Drink Pairing: Water, 8 glasses a day +

Go For Broke but Don't Go Broke For the Holidays

2011-11-21T11:35:00.001-08:00

money money money mon-ey ... Mo-NEE!

Geepers. S and I have put our wallets on lock-down as of yesterday until our budget starts over next month. We have to make it 9 more days without any noticeable purchases. (Can we do it?!)

via

Between holiday gift$, the turkey and trimming$, entertaining friend$, the mo$t awe$ome cu$tom card$, and needing/wanting new pant$, we/I have tapped the budget and then $ome.

Granted, I got a wee bit of a raise when I was promoted, but not enough to justify all this over-spending. Where did I go wrong??

Custom cards, a fresh, local turkey and new pants were really the only splurges. But I have excuses for all of that:

1) This is the only appropriate time to use wedding/engagement photos in card-form. If I don't stomp on this milestone this year, I never can!
2) This may be the only Thanksgiving I host so I need to make it wow-ser.
3) And well, I am popping buttons on my old pants and am upgrading from hand-me-downs.

Ok, ok. Calm down mom and dad. We are still meeting all of our basic needs, paying all of our bills, and still contributing to savings. All's well.

So let's explore where we went right:

1) Use coupons/Groupons/sales to shop for gifts. I was able to use a coupon on like 80% of our gifts for family this year and the rest were on sale/discount. Fives.
2) Splurge on only some things (the turkey).
3) When entertaining, go pot-luck! Even our Thanksgiving dinner is going to be a group effort.
4) We're spending inside of our means. No lay-away, no credit card bills larger than our checking account balance, no opening up new lines of credit, no black-Friday plans to buy electronics we don't need (cough cough, S, cough cough).
5) Eat leftovers! To make room for all of the Thanksgiving food and all of the Thanksgiving leftovers, eat what you have now. Oh and leftover make great lunches, so pack your lunch.

What are you doing to financially survive the holidays?
Have you found Black Friday deals for which you were glad to get up at 3 AM?
I am seriously curious.

Flip It Friday: What Are You Doing to Give Back for the Holidays?

2011-11-18T06:17:00.001-08:00

Happy Friday! Be warned, this post is full of exclamation points because I am just that excited!

Last night S and I went to Target to get some gifts for a few charities we are supporting this season. We budget our giving so that we can be generous on a monthly basis, and this month it was super-freak-fun to shop for the needy - young and young-at-heart.

The children's charity we are supporting this Christmas is Operation Christmas Child. I loved packing shoeboxes for this charity when I was in high school and it was no different this time around. Shopping the toy aisle as an adult is like stepping into a whole new world.

S packing a slinkie, velcro catch game, monster truck, jump rope, chapstick, soap, washcloths, toothbrushes, toothpaste, coloring supplies, pencils and a sharpener, silly putty, baseball cards, a harmonica, chewing gum, fun flossers and more!

Tiana fairy princess barbie! (I know Disney is not socially accurate, but these shoeboxes go to countries all over the world. I would have bought a Filipino barbie if they sold one at Target.)

Get. In. The. Shoebox. Barbie!

The tiniest little reigndeer socks ohmywordthey'recute!

My little girl's shoebox contained a lot of the same stuff as S's but also some hair ties in pretty colors, a Hello Kitty puzzle and some glitter stickers.

I wrote a little handwritten note to put in each box - telling them how much fun we had shopping for them and how we love them because Jesus loves all of us. Sappy sappy, I know, but important.

We also did some shopping for Northpointe Resources, an organization that helps the mentally and physically challenged here in northern Illinois. A girl at work and I are splitting up a wish list for a woman named Ilona and getting her fun things like body spray and headbands. I'm going to make her a mix CD of her favorite music - 60's and 70's - to add to her gift bag. So much fun!

So how are you giving back this season? Do you have charities that you give to regularly? Are you looking for ideas on how to give back? Some of you may be doing Chicago Loot Drop. Are you one of 'em?

Comment, comment, comment!

What Can I Bring?

2011-11-17T12:41:00.001-08:00

When invited to a dinner party it's polite to ask, "What can I bring?" Gifts can be food and related to the meal or they can be objects and related to the host or the home. So, what do you bring?

1) What if they said: Just bring yourself!

If the host protests that you needn't bring anything, you can still knock their socks off and show up with flowers, a bottle of wine, or some dessert. Caution: if you bring dessert, bring candy or something single-serve and pre-wrapped. The host may have already accounted for dessert and you don't want to outshine their baking or make more dirty dishes.

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2) What if they are allergic to traditional gifts?

Keep allergies in mind as well. Are they allergic to flowers? Bring fresh herbs from your garden. Are they off sugar? Bring cheese. Lactose intollerant? Bring candy but be sure to read the label to avoid dairy products.

Candy Cane Marshmallows!

3) What if there are restrictions related to their home?

Also consider the state of their house. Do they live in rented housing that doesn't allow for candles (a dorm, I guess)? You can get flameless candles, scented room oils, or a bag of gourmet pretzels. Are they pack-rats who don't need one more thing? Bring consumables and eat them while you're there or just help with the dishes after the meal :)

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4) What if you're strapped for cash but don't want to show up empty handed?

Bring a note. Either write it beforehand or during the party while they're distracted and leave it in their mailbox on the way out, on the bathroom sink before you leave (I've done this one!), or somewhere conspicuous. They'll love the double thank you that they get - verbally and written.

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Of course not all hosts need/want/expect a gift. Chances are when they said that they are happy to have you - with or without the bottle of wine - they aren't lying. Be on time, wipe your feet and compliment the chef. Just being a good guest will get you invited back!

Tipsy Tuesday - Er Wednesday: Host a Throwback Thanksgiving

2011-11-16T09:06:00.001-08:00

I'm hosting Thanksgiving for the first time this year! Eeep! (I told S that I'm already having undercooked-turkey/had-to-get-food-from-Boston-Market-at-the-last-minute-and-everyone-was-disappointed/shame-on-me nightmares.)

To keep put my own twist on the festivities, I'd like to keep them socially and ethically minded. No big box store turkey for me! I placed my order at my local butcher for a 14 pound beauty. I'm buying only enough decor to keep the traditionalist happy and there WILL be candles and a fire in the fireplace and the fire will be for warmth and ambiance. (S and I have only recently turned the heat on. And if you don't think that's a big deal, it's November in Chicago. Hello, Minnesota. I know you feel me.)

Oh, and we are inviting more than family to the meal. In keeping with the unity at the first Thanksgiving, S and I invited a foreign student who's away from her family and husband for years - including Thanksgiving - while in school. They're in Singapore, she's here. Le sigh. I hope she attends.

More tips on a real Thanksgiving here. And read more about how to have a really real Thanksgiving here (Oysters and goose anyone? And can you believe the effect one woman writer/editor had on the history of this holiday?)

Picture of the "First Thanksgiving" via Unusual Cards by way of ionlylikemonsters.

Drink pairing: Candied Pumpkin Martini with leftover candy corn from Halloween.

Soak candy corn in vodka until dissolved. Not sure if you're supposed to dissolve it, but I did and we just went with it. In a shaker: candy vodka, pumpkin spice coffee creamer, touch of honey, ice. Shakie Shakie. Strain into a martini glass that's been swirled with a stream of honey. Top with seltzer water or milk, depending on if you have milk (we didn't) or if you want to cut the creaminess (we did).

Flip It Friday: Gift Giving and Some Gibberish

2011-11-11T14:31:00.001-08:00

Let's get the flippin' Friday thing over with so I can brag a little:

When giving a gift, is it acceptable to be fruigal? Or is inexpensive always considered "cheap"? Can you get and then give a deal? If you know someone isn't going to use a years supply worth of bath salts in their lifetime, is it ok to be reasonable and get them just a few bath's worth?

Via Pinterest. Yes, Sarah, Pinterest. You know the drill. Reply with comments on what you think.
---
Ok, on to bigger, braggier fish.

I have readers in the US, Russia, Germany, Peru and South Korea!!!!

I probably have for at least a little while now, I just didn't know how to check for my blog's globalization. That's right, Russia, you are reading real, American, ignorant writing! Feel authentic!

And upon my Magellan of a discovery, I am going to honor my foreign readers in their language. [Per a sketchy site with babble-like translation... here goes]

Я Tooting свой рог

Ich bin tooting meine eigene

Hupe Estoy tocando mi propio cuerno

내 자신의 경적을 tooting 오전

And there you have it. I said "I am tooting my own horn" in 4 languages. Of course, I'm sure that the literal translations of what I just said refers to farting, but I'm proud nonetheless!

[p.s. The Korean looked like wingdings on the translation page. Sorta glad they actually appear to be characters, but also kinda sad that Koreans don't speak "wingdings", but then glad again because they don't have a word for "tooting" and the English word helps ground the phrase on the page, but then sad again because what do the Koreans call it?? Oh, translation machine says: 방귀뀌다]

Tipsy Tuesday: Tights Should Get the (panty)Hose

2011-11-08T14:55:00.000-08:00

Is anyone out there wearing tights or pantyhose comfortably?

I am a smallish woman (read: not stretching my tights vertically or horizontally) and find that wearing tights/panty hose is just about gonna be the end of me.

Don't wear tights, you say? Well I love wearing skirts year-round and tights/hose are the way to keep you warm and office appropriate.

So why do they always ~~hurt~~ cut me in half?

Maybe there's a way to wear them, or a brand/style that doesn't dig into your waistline. I've tried buying a size bigger than normal, wearing the band under my bra strap and buying expensive styles to try and keep from boa-constricting my middle.

Nothing works.

My advice to you? Wear pants. It's not worth the tights-induced heartburn!

Your advice to me? Please, someone, give me a brand/style/technique for beating the squeeze!

And why can't I google about how much panyhose hurt without getting an abundance or porn sites...

xoxo
- PantyhosePleaForHelpInChicago

More Capeidence

2011-11-07T08:35:00.001-08:00

That's Cape-Evidence:

If the Sartorialist is doing it, it's gotta be good.

I want to do this... I advise that you should too!

2011-11-07T06:15:00.000-08:00

It's easy, ethical (no one is being oppressed in the making of this cape - unless you are really mean to your scissors...), unique (unless everyone wants one now... and I think they do!), no-sew, warm, billowy and fun!

From P.S. I made this.

Who's with me!? We can have a cape-party at my house! (That's either a party for making the cape or a party for wearing the cape... or both... meet me at JoAnn's fabrics...)

Seriously, I never DIY and I di-DO want to do this.

Flip It Friday: What is the Point of Herman Cain?

2011-11-04T06:51:00.000-07:00

I am reblogging this, but it bears reblogging. So funny.

"What is the point of this guy??? Why don’t the Republicans nominate Bishop Don instead?"

Go to the website here and see the comparison. You will not be sorry.

And if you need more fuel for the Cain Crazy Train, there's this:

So tell me your thoughts. What IS the point of Herman Cain?

Advice: Yee-haw! Get Back On The Horse

2011-11-03T07:09:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you're up. Sometimes you're down. I feel like there's a song here.

I've had an awesome and terrible couple of weeks.

I've also exaggerated how terrible it's been. It's been mostly great with a few slight hiccups, if I'm being honest and reasonable.

But I'm not honest and reasonable. I all sortsa crazy on a whim.

So what do you do when you've: picked 3 fights with your family in 24 hours, put your foot in your mouth, broke the website at work that they JUST entrusted to you, been late to dinner, wasted money on a cab when you should have walked, let your emails pile up, been "overserved" and therefore "dehydrated" the next morning when you have to go to work and deal with a problem, AND failed to sew the button back onto the only pants that match the sweater you NEED to wear and just say 'screw it' and go to work all sloppy-bobbie with an unbuttoned pocked flap?

High five me. High five.

What do I do after all of this and a solid half hour of complaining and dramatizing my demise (a la phrases like "This outfit? Take a good look. This is the outfit I'll be wearing when I get fired.").

But after all that I get back on the horse. Nothing's all that bad. I still have a family that loves me (sorry guys, I know you love me even if I've tried to alienate each of you lately), a job (no, I didn't get fired), friends that are willing to say "yes" to a 3rd (or 4th?) bottle of wine, and a trip to Tucson in January to look forward to. Nothing is that bad. All will turn out fine.

So maybe the song should be Where the Blacktop Ends. Original, drugged-out, short-haired Keith Urban.

Actually, no. This is the song.

Tipsy Tuesday: Baby It's Cold Outside So Get a Merm.

2011-11-01T08:16:00.000-07:00

Chicagoans must have a proper coat (or several) to make it through winter alive. This morning I saw frost on the car windows and thought that now is the time to do the coat post.

I have a merm and I swear by it. Urban dictionary did not help me out on determining what a merm is, or at least backing up my current understanding. (Isn't that why any of us use a dictionary? To back up our own interpretation?

Merm is short for mermaid and can mean a number of terrible things according to urban dictionary. But for the purpose of the coat chat, let's determine that it means a long coat that sorta binds your legs together like a mermaid's tail. Let's now use it in a sentence.

"The woman ran in short steps to catch her train because of her merm."

or

"I can go to the party in this dress without tights because my merm will keep me warm from head to ankle."

Get the picture? Well here's some pictures:

Pea Coats are professional.

via

Capes are classy.

via

But the merms are marvelously mmm-mmm warm.

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This one could stand to be even longer!

Get the idea? More coat is more warmth.

Drink pairing: Hot cider with cloves and cinnamon. Unprocessed cider, preferably, heated on the stove with some citrus like fresh OJ.

Happy Halloween

2011-10-31T14:49:00.001-07:00

via

Advice: Look for clues when determining if your loved one has a problem.

2011-10-31T08:44:00.000-07:00

I saw that in my last post, the one about balls, church and the great hat chase of 2011, in the background of the photo you can see...

vacuums.

Of course. Vacuum aisle is his sanctuary. Not to be sacrilegious.

S is obsessed with vacuums. We have 4. I try to stop him, but he's a clean machine and vacuums are his tool of choice.

He may lint roll the cats. He may let the cold groceries spoil on the counter so he can reorganize a closet. He may vacuum the air...

But ~~he puts up with me blogging about him, chasing him through Target, going through large bouts of anti-social behavior and making fun of him to his face.~~

I'm just gracious and patient like that. Ha!

And he secretly loves all of this attention. Ha!

Beverage pairing: a New Glarius beer. S brought me back some soap made from one of their beers when on a tour recently. So one of my wish list items of beer soap has been fulfilled! He didn't even see the blog post on it, he just reasoned that I like soap. I do. I love bar soap.

If I had to do it over, I might not have said "balls"...

2011-10-25T14:44:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I give advice from an experience in my life that did not go well, one about which I should have given myself some better advice. Such an experience happened last night.

S and I had a newly-married small group send-off dinner. We've been in this lil class for 6 weeks (we skipped 2 for various conflicts) and at the end we, ideally, get matched with other couples to make up some small groups for Bible study. Neat neat.

We were going around the large, last-supper-like table saying our "how we met stories". S leaned to me and whispered, "Do we say what really happened?" I confirmed that now was the time to get it out in the open that we met at a college party in which I was dancing on the bar (*sober).

So we fessed up - sitting right. next. to. the. pastor. and. his. wife. They are a great bunch and really easy going. We thought we could get away with the truth in front of God, His pastors, and a bunch of our peer-strangers.

S said we talked that night and then he waited a week like a "real man" to find me on facebook and then ask me out in a non-threatening way via FB email. Chuckles all around for his timid action and then... I did it... I said balls.

"You can tell who has balls in this relationship."

I was dancing on a bar in a crowded room and he didn't have the cha-ho-neighs to ask me out in person. Good LORD why did I say balls?? I couldn't even sensor that. Not to mention earlier, in the parking lot, I was loudly carrying on a hypothetical conversation that involved naming a child "Toyota" and then distancing yourself from them as a parent, and of course people heard me ... good. Lord. I just can't be stopped apparently.

I got a pat on the back from laid-back pastor and a good hearty laugh from the room. Oh and a red-faced husband. I got that too.

Of course we later made a trip to Target in which I chased him around (whist chanting his name, no less) with this hat in my hands and then, once I caught him, demanded that he pose for a photo.

I'm keeping this photo small to protect the innocent, although, not really protecting them as I still posted it. I might be crusin' for a bruisin'.

All in all, I hope the church still lets me in the door, the kids accept me into their married small group and that my husband both lets me in the door AND into his married small group.

Advice? Cool it and sensor yourself when dining with a pastor and some churchy peers.

Beverage pairing? Apple water. Cut some apples, put them in water, and then drink it. We had it last night at dinner and it was refreshing.

Cause 'Errybody Should Know How To Tie A Tie

2011-10-24T09:23:00.000-07:00

via

Now go get ready for church.

Flip-It Friday: Tell Sandy Claus What You Want for Christmas

2011-10-21T06:38:00.000-07:00

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If Santa Claus is a cat and he goes by Sandy, I invite you to tell the above creature what you want for Christmas. "Uncle Dave" endorses this too.

If you prefer a different cat in a different hat, there's this creep-o.

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I'd be scared too, dog.

OR if you want to see a cat BEING a hat, there's this scenario:

via

Now, he's not a holiday cat, but if he makes you more comfortable than the first two cats (enough to spill your ho-lee-dai wishes) I'll allow it.

Ok, that face may not make you comfortable. Here's your black bar of comfort:

via Paint on my PC.

You're welcome.

So, what do you want for Christmahanakwanzika?

I've been keeping a list on my other blog here, but want to hear about your desires. Leave a comment with what you want (and a link if you really want it!) and which cat you'd prefer to tell about your wish list.

Drink pairing. A cliche mug o' nog. Or saucer of milk.

Last Money Chart For The Week, I Promise

2011-10-20T09:29:00.000-07:00

Put your laughing pants on. This is how I spend my money:

Bagels get their own catagory.

Here's what my spending looks like when put into broader terms.

This may show that I am over 75% more concerned with eating than I am with being clean.

Charts and weirdness from here, again.

C'mon. Someone else do some weird charties!

Thursday's Drink Pairing

2011-10-20T09:00:00.000-07:00

"you dont know how perilously close you came to a period joke today"

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I know this is gross (hence the "ew" label) but I couldn't resist! I was craving bloody mary's lately, but this has cured me of that craving.

Mo Money Mo Power Mo Pie

2011-10-19T08:32:00.000-07:00

If money is power and time is money wouldn't you think the unemployed would hold a LOT of the power?

Wrong.

Money IS power. However fortunate or unfortunate that is.

Think about how you spend your money. (Or see my pie charts here.) But seriously, think about how you spend.

The money you spend votes more than any marks you make in a ballot box.

Like Gavin Degraw's new song? Buy it instead of pirating it.

Think Kanye is an ignorant racist? Pirate instead of buy. (I wouldn't really encourage pirating... or would I?)

Think Southwest is a fair airline? Fly with them instead of giving your business to United leave-you-for-dead-in-a-foreign-country Airlines even if UA gives you points on your credit card.

Think kids in 3rd World Countries shouldn't be put to work at age 5 to making your clothes to support their families? Do like my friends at Retell Retail do and buy used, local, fair trade, organic and/or conflict free.

Think a politician is out of line? Don't feed into their sensation by not watching their debates.

Think before you buy and make every dollar count. Policy isn't made because some big wigs in Washington had their tin-man hearts removed. It's made because we ask for it. We vote for it. We want our cake and we want to eat it too. Educate yourself and make informed decisions. Nothing in this world is free; always look for the total cost of your decision.

Drink pairings? Whatever goes with humble pie. Or a candy-tini made with frangelico, buttershots, amaretto, captain morgan, root beer smirnoff (100 proof - get it), homemade whipped cream from the shaker to top and a butterscotch sucker to garnish. Trust me, you only need one.

This one isn't mine, but mine looked sorta like this. Via Pinterest.com.

Tipsy Tuesday Advice: Know Your Pie and How to Slice It

2011-10-18T09:23:00.000-07:00

I made this chart with the data from our Mint.com and this site. Yes, it may be a kids site, but it makes a pretty ~~good~~ free graph. Neat.

Looking at this graph, I'm all like, "Woah, are you supposed to spend 40% of your cha-ching on rent and stuff??"

Let's take a step back.

This chart only shows our total spending broken out by category. Whew. It's totally ok that out of our total spending, 40% is on rent. It SHOULD be the largest expense we have each month. Unless, we have a mortgage, then that should be our largest ticket item.

To give you some perspective, here's how much we really spend a month:

We save quite a bit, so the first pie chart shouldn't be so scary.

Now, people who claim to be experts say that you shouldn't spend more than 1/3 of your income in housing.

We seem to fit comfortably within our limit of spending less than a 1/4 of our income on rent. High five for saving, spending within our recommended limits and for charts in general.

Fives to NewlyWedsOnABudget too, for getting me excited for charting.

Drink suggestion for this post? What goes well with pie...

If it's a pot pie, a beer; if it's a dessert pie, then have a glass of Merlot. (Some would argue that you should have a sweeter wine with dessert, but who can take all that sugar... let's go DRY.) Last night I had a glass from a winery my parents visited in Paducah, Kentucky. Thanks Mom and Dad for the Purple Toad Merlot! I love a good, local wine with a story behind the hunt for it!

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Advice to other bloggers: Stop apologizing

2011-10-17T10:00:00.000-07:00

"I'm sorry I haven't been around lately, I've been:

a) sick
b) busy
c) sick and busy working - it takes me 3x as long to post because I can't see through the allergy tears and the NyQuil makes my head womp-womp when I try to read
d) lacking motivation/creativity/personal stories to share."

All excuses are boring and telling us what keeps you away is making us wish you just went away until you had something awesome to contribute.

I've been guilty of this too.

And my rant is equally irrelevant.

I'm not apologizing.

What I am doing is giving you this - some non-boring blog-goodness to get you through Monday:

She's never boring. I'd like to be her friend. Or her live-doll.

This is interesting. I found it here first. Do you know what you are putting on YOUR skin?

Good for a nerdy laugh. And they post several times a day, so go getcha some.

Spent some time window shopping here and here this weekend. Surprisingly not all that expensive. And by window shoppin' I mean that my fingers did the walkin'.

via

And maybe this evening you can get a bunch of children together and make Gertrude Steins and have a puppy party. Always a good choice.

Happy Monday. Don't be boring.

Flip-It Friday: I'll show you mine...

2011-10-14T11:59:00.000-07:00

Will you show me yours?

Apartment, house, duplex, cardboard box...

Here are a few photos of our apartment before we moved in. Somehow I always have pictures of the "befores" and not a lot of the "afters" when it comes to moving in.

(The above are all of the master bath. It was truely a selling (renting?) point for us when we saw it. Steam shower, jacuzzi tub, double sink and HUGE mirror? Yes, yes, yes, yes. Here's the main room empty. I have no wide-angle lens on my iPhone; the room is just that spacious.)

Except for this "after". This is after we got all of our stuff inside but not put away. Geeze Louise, that was a stressful weekend.

The "After-afters" [read: decorated and orderly] are coming soon!

So tell me, what does your place look like? Can you see where we went wrong with moving? Send me a link to your own house tour video or pictures! Or leave a comment describing the features you love in your home.

Beverage pairing with this post? We got a housewarming gift of champagne... or we could pair this with a PBR because that's what we drank at the local hole-in-the-wall/hipster-joint, Maria's, after we couldn't stand to look at this mess anymore! They have what they call "sh*tty beer of the day" and it's only $2 or something like that. It's a grab-bag o' beer, but it's cheap!

Advice for Yoplait on Lid Campaigns

2011-10-13T08:23:00.000-07:00

Why do you make part of your campaign to lick warm yogurt from foil that has been touched with a million dirty manufacturer/packing/stock-boy/consumer hands?

via

I do not lick the foil lid, Yoplait, despite my support of breast cancer awareness.

And even if your design is for us to rinse them off and send them back in in an envelope, I still won't do it. I don't think used dairy containers are very sanitary and even if you rinse them, they shouldn't be bused around the world for any reason. Carbon footprint from all that shipping around and back again and yucky dairy waste. No, no.

They do let you redeem the lids online though. How nice.

Does anyone else find licking-the-lid gross?

Tipsy Tuesday: J.Mill's Take on the Mrs. Lilien's 7 Persuasions of the Extraordinarily Successful

2011-10-11T10:19:00.000-07:00

Pretty awesome list of how to be awesome from Mrs. Lilien (blogger I just found today via Fancy Schmantzy's blog roll). Boom goes the name dropping and the shout-outs. I know Mitzi of Fancy Schmantzy personally. I have no idea if the Mrs. is even a woman. Here we go.

I decided to do my own list of 7 Persuasions Of Awesomeness. Here's the J.Mill version:

1) The Mrs. says: Bedeck to Impress.

J.Mill says: Dress to the 9's, yes. Dare to upstage. Think: "Can I get away with wearing jeans?" But then add a blazer. Avoid wearing panty hose unless it's cold. Panty hose will cut-you-in-half. I have the oddly mishapen waistline to prove it.

2) The Mrs. says: Begin with High Stakes in Mind.

J.Mill says: Under promise, over deliver. If you set the bar low, then people will appreciate your follow-through. Get a pat on the back just for waking up in the morning whenever possible.

via

"Hiiii-ya!" She gets a pat (or did that sound like a chop) on the back for waking up, fo sho.

3) The Mrs. says: Put Leisure First

J.Mill says: Can't argue there. Just make sure you define leisure in your own specially-tailored way. I, for instance, find shopping to be stressful, not leisurely. I'm more of a stare-out-the-window type of relaxer. Speaking of relaxers, muscle-putty-pills work for leisure-inducing too! Or at least they make shopping tollerable. You may walk out of a downtown Chi-town Target with nothing on your list, but at least you walk out of Target (as opposed to running, screaming out of Target).

4) The Mrs. says: Think Chin-chin. (cocktails)

J.Mill says: Can't argue with this one either. But to deviate from the Mrs., I suggest that you go more daring with your drink dates. Don't drink with friends. Drink with a bartender. Drink with Facebook. Drink with a good book. Drinking alone, once considered sad, now (or maybe not yet) is considered brave! One mojito down and I was de-friending half of my facebook friends. I didn't even KNOW these people. Try it. Purge your FB, your closet, your fridge with a glass of Malbec in hand and see how productive you are!

via awesome

5) The Mrs. says: Accessorize with Abandon

J.Mill says: Take only one piece of advice from Suzie Orman and only wear like 3 pieces of jewelry over and over again. Invest in some dime-store plastic pearls and wear them 'til the cows come home and crush'em. (If your cows are crushing your pearls, learn your lesson and pick your pearls up off of the floor/barn.)

via

6) The Mrs. says: Make Marveling Merry (rando acts of kindness)

J.Mill says: I just try not to scowl at the people who play their music too loudly through headphones. Random acts of kindness might be out of reach for me. (J/K... I do nice things)

(That's not me, btw. That's a random child. Get it. Random?)
7) The Mrs. says: Capitalize on Conviviality

J.Mill says: I don't believe conviviality is a word. Woopsie daisy. It is. It means to have a good ol' time with folks. I suppose I can stand behind that. That, or invite people over and then hide in the bathroom with a 6 pack and some kebobs.

Nom nom.

Untagged photos are via pinterest.com

Flip-It Friday: The Parental Doppelganger

2011-10-07T09:31:00.000-07:00

Doppelgangers (according to Wiki) are like evil twins. I think my generation has taken doppelganger to mean just a double or a lookalike in general. So on the understanding of the latter, I give you my parent's doppelgangers:

My mom is Ms. Frizzle.
via

She's smart and funny and patient with a carload of kids. She's edgy and comfortable in her own skin and looks damn good in an A-line dress with wacky prints. Not to mention my own mom has the red curly hair. One of my friends growing up dubbed her Ms. Frizzle and it just stuck - endearingly of course!

My dad is Ron Swanson.
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He's quiet and stoic and silly-with-a-straight-face. Ok, my dad make crack at his own jokes, but he's R. Swanson to a T when it comes to hunting, fishing, being alone, firm handshakes, working for the people of Indiana but trying to avoid the people of Indiana. He loves meat with a side of meat and orders "all the bacon and eggs you have" at the local diner. Not "a lot of bacon and eggs" but "ALL of the bacon and eggs you have".

The pyramid is worth a look-see. Find it here if you can't see it on my blog.

Another friend mentioned how my dad was like Ron Swanson moment and it was a "Eureka!" moment. Funny how other people show you things about your own family. Outsider's perspective, I guess.

Giving you this picture of my parents, one might be able to see how I got my desire to be alone, my devil-may-care fashion sense and my red, frizzy hair. I may not love steak like Ron does, but I do enjoy buffets. And I may not have have the patience of Ms. Frizzle, but I do have her imagination!

SO: How are you like your parents? Who would be their doppelganger? Do you have any dead-ringer, celebrity lookalikes in your family?

Beverage pairing for this post? Ms. Frizzle would probably have a juice box (or a wine cooler after the kids get off her damn bus). And Ron would probably have a domestic beer or scotch or, if he were my dad, an O'Douls.

An Andy Apple A Day

2011-10-06T07:15:00.000-07:00

Well well, it's Thursday and no one's heard from me since last week. I'd like to blame Andy Rooney for signing off and leaving 60 Minutes to become the most boring and unnecessarily sensationalized programming on TV (Oprah, should she still be on, would be a good contender).

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Boy, can that man tell it like it is. And aren't we all sad to see him go? We're pretty selfish and possessive of our 92 year old friend here.

Or maybe it's because I've been trying to find a gym all week. It's getting cooler out and, let's be honest, I don't run outside anymore anyway. I need some options to stay fit and a gym can give me a track, a treadmill, an elliptical AND tons of eyes watching me, judging me, spurring me forward to exhaustion.

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Or maybe I could blame is on the passing of Steve Jobs. But that's too recent and, again, being honest, I didn't even know the guy. Steve-o, you gave us Apple, I will have this apple in your memory. I took it with your iPhone and it came out sideways. I'm not sorry. I hope you like it.

All of the above is true (Especially the apple. You will be mine by lunchtime, apple.), but mainly it's because this work week has mowed me over. I might be fighting a sinus cold or something too. Going to bed at 9 PM all hopped up on nyquil/benedryl/vaselined-up-nostrils makes for a glass-eyed-blog-free adult.

No advice here today except, maybe, that vaseline is the best invention (note to self: do post on the many uses of petroleum jelly) and that green apples are good with any kind of cheese (cheddar, brie, gouda, boursin...) and that even running just a mile (I say "just" but it is kinda a struggle for me) can make you feel better about all the cheese you eat with your green apple before going to bed on a stomach full of cheese and apple acid.

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Beverage pairings for this post: Wine for the cheese, tea for the cold and yucky K-cup coffee from work because I broke my french press this past weekend :(

Flip-It Friday: Walk It Off

2011-09-30T07:22:00.000-07:00

Do you walk up/down escalators?

I certainly do and I feel like it's rude to stand on them if you can physically afford to walk. I feel like there's no reason to be so lazy, not burn the calories, and hold everyone up behind you.

Below is a funny flow chart from I Love Charts about how to decide if you should walk on an escalator.

Does this change your mind? Does it reinforce what you think?

Hand-Out or Cold-Heart?: Thoughts on the Homeless

2011-09-27T15:14:00.000-07:00

(Disclaimer: This post is lengthy and contains emotional material. Read on with a tissue, B.Lill, or you can just skip this one for now.)

Spending some time outside today, I dodged the rain by walking around a drug store. Just like Dane Cooks says, being at "The Wall" (Walgreens) or in my case, CVS, makes you want to steal stuff. Being honest, I paid for my knock-off Swedish fish and was on my merry way to peruse the rest of a train station, hiding from the rain. Leaving the station to return to work, headphones in, I was targeted by a young guy with a backpack and no umbrella.

"Ma'am, can I trouble you for a dollar? I'm trying to get on a tr..."

Ma'am. Pft. I handed him a little red fish that I was about to stick in my mouth, smiled, and turn to go without speaking. He looked bewildered, smiled back and then remembered his game.

"So, no then?"

This little scene I lived today reminded me of a conversation I've had with 2 separate groups of woman I value.

So what do you do when someone asks you for money on the street? How to do you deal (listen to me, "deal") with the homeless?

Both groups concluded that one should generally have something to give them - a meal, a snack, a dollar if they really look like they need it. I've heard of the great idea to carry around little "hobo packs" wherever you go so that you can provide someone who's saying they are down-and-out with a granola bar, transit card, chapstick, toothbrush, and even money. Great ideas, but somehow, we don't use them. Call it impracticality. Call it expensive. Call it lazy.

The most recent of these groups of women was a book club I am in. We read the book Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand about WWII and some of its most notable POWs. Harrowing stories of abuse and accounts of inhumane conditions were accounted in this book. Enough to tug on the coldest of hearts. One woman posed the question:

Would the way you approach a homeless person change if you knew he was a war Vet?

She went on to say that this book changed the way she thought of them. That we often ignore the homeless asking for money because they will most likely use it for booze or drugs. She said that she can't blame a vet for wanted to get a bit wasted after living through anything like what those POWs had. She said she'd adopted a homeless person near her work and gave him what she could when she saw him.

This insightful friend of ours, Liz, was sideswiped with a swell in an underlying heart condition and is spending the short time she has left here on earth in a hospital being watched over by family and prayed for by many friends.

Over a week ago, when we all first heard the news, one hopeful friend found Liz's homeless guy (possessive in the loveliest way possible) and gave him some cash. No questions asked. Because that's what Liz would have done.

God doesn't call us to ask "Why?", He just asks us to give. Period.

You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. “For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.”And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others. As the Scriptures say,

“They share freely and give generously to the poor.

Their good deeds will be remembered forever.”

[2 Corinthians 9:7-9]

Liz, you and your good deeds will be remembered forever.

Flip-It Friday: What's Bringing You Joy?

2011-09-23T09:26:00.000-07:00

I wouldn't describe myself as a very joyful person. I like sarcasm and playing the antagonist sometimes. So maybe I am joyful, but not in a traditional sense. I handle tough situations better than happy ones because I know how deep grief can go and I like to be someone to go there with a person. I'm an encourager.

All cryptic rambling aside, I think humor is the best medicine. That and time. So while you're waiting to feel right as rain, what keeps your spirits up? I love dry humor. Or humor at someone's expense. Of course, not crude humor, but the kind of stuff that you could laugh about with your family. Or the kind of "high-brow" humor that's resting in Andy Rooney's eye caterpillars :)

Ever since the urging of rough-'round-the-edges high school English teacher and my dad, I've wanted to be a humor writer. Dave Barry to be exact. Although I've also loved Mr. Rooney and Bill Geist. All have a place in my heart and my back pocket as guaranteed laughs, elbow nudges and relatability.

So, what gets you laughing? What brings you joy?

*** I was going to write a personal post for today's Flip-It Friday with a special homemade video. Considering the week I've shared with some friends over a sudden, serious, traumatic illness of a friend, I wanted to focus on something joyful. More on everything later. And look forward to that video... trust me, it will be interesting!!

Tipsy Tuesday: Can-it (Pickles, Pumpkin and Your Mouth) and Know When to Pop The Can

2011-09-20T08:59:00.000-07:00

Last night S and I had a married couples event at our church to try and get into the "Married Club" - which is like the playboy club except ... well, I can't see why it's not like the playboy club. A 1:1 ratio is preferred, women are trying to look impressive and men are trying to look aloof, and everyone should have a drink before entering to help loosen the nerves.

You'd think we'd be in the Married Club just by being married. I'm not so sure anymore. This little group is designed to help you sorta pick-up other couples and decide if you want to do a Bible study with them. We joked on the way in that this was like dating and we joked on the way out that that was probably why I couldn't. stop. talking.

I became a social steam roller - running over people with inane dribble just to try to keep the conversation crickets from waking up and singing. Gosh why the flip are people so awkward in new groups.

After the predictable "who are ya/what do you do/how long you been married?", we got to talking about hobbies and I mentioned blogging. The meeting facilitator got up, popped the cap from an Expo marker and turned from the whiteboard for me to recite the URL. Heaven help me. I told her that 'wasn't the point of the group to get to know one another and THEN disclose our innermost secrets'? I'm my own PR enemy ... or my savior, I couldn't tell.

What would people think of me if they knew I was a sarcastic, misdirected, ill-informed advice blogger. I retreated into myself and stopped blabbering so much. I felt like I was back in grade school when the teacher would purposely look around my raise, waving hand to pick on someone who'd not answered a question yet. Not that anyone was making me feel like I was stealing the show, I just suddenly felt a spotlight.

I live in a constant struggle: please people by using my social talents to ease other's awkwardness or curl in upon myself and shut up because that's easier on me and gives others a chance to shine. Not to mention my face doesn't turn red as long as I don't speak.

So I'm still struggling with it, but know I have to pick up on social cues on when to speak and when to can-it.

Speaking of cans (segue, segue), I have a stange habit of scooping up cans and cans of pumpkin each year when it comes out. I'm a canned pumpkin hoarder. I popped the top on one can this weekend and made pumpkin muffins. No pic of mine because I ate the ones I had with me already.

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I also made some homemade pickles that are getting better with every day they sit in my fridge. A mix of zucchini, onion, cucumber, red pepper, garlic and celery. All of which make a good, low-cal snack. And I don't even can! Fridge pickles are easy and stay crisp for a long time. Again, not my photo, but you get the idea.

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As for your Tipsy Tuesday beverage? Have a PSL (pumpkin spice latte) or a bloody mary with all those pickled goods!

Advice: Don't Photograph Creepy Things with Pretty Things

2011-09-19T11:44:00.000-07:00

Design Sponge does a series where they tour people's homes and then ask them to fill in the blank on: "What I love most about my home is _____".

Well, dears, what I love most about my home is that I don't have this sitting on my bed when I come home:

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Ah! I think it can see into my soul...

Husband has cats, but at least they aren't Uri Geller here (bending my mind's spoon and then jamming it into my mind's eye... bah! I just got the willies thinking about that...).

Note: Googling our friend Uri (the man, not the cat), one of the main pics to come up was this one. Of course. Oh of-gosh-darn-course they were friends.

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Happy Monday and irrelevant blogging to 'ya. That's really the advice for Monday - try and goof off to make it go faster.

Flip It Friday - DITL Day in the Life Post

2011-09-16T08:08:00.000-07:00

Hey kidlets. I posted on my first blog a day in the life of me!

It's boring and funny and crude - its SO me!

Me me me me me

So come get some MO ME at MY blog.

Me mo me mo my me mo!
(whistling)

via - strange site to find this, no?

So let's flip it. What's your DITL? I really do want to know. I find your life fascinating!

Retail Etiquette Repost

2011-09-15T11:37:00.000-07:00

Read this blog post on retail etiquette by a fellow Chicagoan.
I'm a sucker for etiquette of all kinds. It helps me manage my expectations and makes human interaction more bearable for me and those I meet. Like, I didn't know that it was frustrating for people to shop with headphones in. I generally leave mine in because the techno beats of most stores make me feel paniked and vulnerable and I like to use my headphones to ward off sales people like a garlic necklace wards off vampires.

You could say I'm not a people person. I like to say I'm introverted.

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Thanks for the etiquette pointers, Sunday Morning Sugar.

Now let's all go shopping and make eye contact with the salespeople instead of scurrying behind a clothing rack like an abused stray dog. Not that I ever do that.

Common Sense on a Roll Wednesday: Be Sloppy, Be Thin

2011-09-14T06:58:00.000-07:00

As I struggled to eat my zucchini bread for breakfast this morning (thanks neighbor/landlord/friend!), I dropped numberous crumbs and even one whole bite on the floor.

And I dropped a whole bite yesterday too.

I guess that's the expected casualty of eating a baked good with a fork out of a ziplock bag while typing with one hand.

At first I swore at myself, but then I thought, "Hey, on the bright side, its one less bite in my mouth and one less bite making my pants tighter." Silver lining, I tell ya.

So cheers to your mulititaskers. You eat-on-the-run workers. You just plain sloppy kids (I think that's why my husband's so thin). Raise your glass and wear a bib!

Tipsy Tuesday: Are You the Sand or the Pearl?

2011-09-13T07:19:00.000-07:00

This morning on my CTA commute in to The Loop and back out the other side, I sat next to a woman who shook my world at 7:30 AM.

She said, "Good morning", after I made her move so I could sit down.

To be brutally honest (and brutal only to myself for even thinking the way I do), I often hold my conversational breath and try not to stare when riding this certain train. It brings people from the deep south side of Chicago into the city and runs through The Loop to service some of Chicago's worst neighborhoods on its way to a nearby suburb. (Don't worry, Mom, I get off the train before it hits the bad 'hoods.)

This part of my commute is rarely quiet, full of single moms with too many babies and too few hands, men on cell phones yelling expletives too loudly for the morning hours (as if there's ever a good time to do that publicly), large women taking up 2 seats each and talking at (not to, but at) one another from across the train, and not to mention the headphones that ironically share unwelcomed music-for-one in the form of rap-crap and someone's basement acoustics.

So when this woman greeted me kindly and then went back to reading her book, I was startled and then wary that she might try to talk to me. I like my commutes like I like my sleep - cool, quiet and comfortable (and I'd add clean, but that's not a CTA priority... although I did see someone Cloroxing the turnstiles once!).

The woman went back to reading her book but then muttered in my direction 4 stops later, "Excuse me?" Good gravy, I thought. It starts.

"Do you know what this word means?" She pointed at the page and mispronounced it, stuttering.

A quick panic washed over me. This is every writer's/literary's test. Put your grammar, language and vocabulary skills to test in the real world! Oh glory be, I should get this right. I had to think about it, but was able to come up with the correct pronunciation and defintion quickly enough to appear credible. She said thank you and we shared a weird giggle (I think it was a giggle).

I strutted off of the train as she said, "Have a good day", to me. I squeaked out after a too-long pause, "Thanks, you too". Walking with pride all the way down to the street level, I fished for my phone among the beverage fixings in my purse.

The beverages in my purse (not the water, but you get the idea).

Upon hitting pavement I Googled the word. Whew. I got it right. Mostly right. The women could probably deduce the tone of the word from the text she was reading to get the right connotation.

And then the guilt filled in where the relief subsided. I was so wonderfully proud of myself for getting an SAT word right on a real life test, that I forgot to return her verbal well-wishes for the day until an awkward beat later.

I may have puffed with pride at my book-knowledge, but where would that get me? How often will someone feed me a line about needing to know a word or a definition? And, by comparison, how far will that woman's kindness get her? I may have access to good jobs, have a great education, be a shameful iPhone user - having the world at my literal fingertips. But she, she has everything and then some because she's kind to strangers, doesn't see color or class and is humble enough to ask questions.

The world is her oyster and I'm the sand feeding into the pearl.

I Have a Beverage Problem

2011-09-12T06:49:00.000-07:00

When my long-time friends and I reconvened in central Indiana this past weekend, I often found that wine-related humor was directed at me. I guess I deserve that. (Shout out to M, S, S and R!) I really do love beverages. I order two drinks at restaurants (usually one of them water) and have 2 thermoses and one tumbler at my desk right now.

It doesn't matter if its alcoholic or caffinated, I just like drinks. In fact, I made an awesome milkshake/smoothie (where's the difference there?) this past weekend involving a frozen banana and Nutella. I even got decaf at a S-bux this weekend just to have something to sip in the car. Nothing like a warm drink, a longer car ride and a phone call home.

Anyhoo. I found this blog and love its transparent consciousness (read: he's honest and random). Oh, and he's funny.

So here's what he says about beverage ettiquette when attending a social gathering. And in honor of my book club meeting this week to discuss Unbroken, I vow to abide by the last point on the "Do's" list. Although I doubt we'll be borning :)

Photo and funnies via.

Book photo via.

Tipsy Tuesday: Whip It Good in the FP

2011-09-06T09:51:00.000-07:00

My dear friend (and recently married woman), Chelsey asked me about the ways I use my food processor. She and her husband were rounding out their registry and Mr. Chelsey thought that an FP was unnecessary... pft!

Poor Chels was using an old blender (or was it an old FP) that didn't have a lid (messy) and smoked when she ran it too long (unsafe, smelly).

(swirly dreamlike holographic kaleidoscopic whatsits wisk you away to the land of FP.)

Something like this:

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Welcome to Food Processor Land. Where everything is possible as long as it fits into a 13 cup basin.

First possibility: Hummus. Chelsey has made this in an FP before, so maybe she'll comment and give us her recipe

My favorite food processor product? Pesto!

I've made pea pesto, Mulit-herb pesto, regular basil pesto and other veggie sauces in mine. All of them are fantastic when mixed into some carbs. Mmmm nap.

Here's my favorite pesto's ingredients (the pea kind)in order of quantity:

Pea Pesto:
Peas
Basil (dried can work here because its not the main ingredient)
Parmesan
Olive Oil (a good one... you wont be cooking it so the flavors must be top)
Nuts of any kind (traditional pesto uses pine nuts, but I've used walnuts before)
Freshly cracked pepper (and some red pepper flake if you're feeling spicy.)
Salt

Dump all into a processor (minus the oil) and start to pulse/blend. Add the oil through the spout at the top in a thin stream. One mistake of pesto-making is adding the oil at the start - the basil and peas have moisture too and can get the sauce going on their own. You add too much oil at the beginning and you end up making your pasta too heavy. Pour in enough oil to just combine the sauce, but not make it runny. Put the sauce over hot pasta and mix. If it's too sticky, add some of the cook water from the pasta to thin. Refrain from adding more oil. (Did I stress that enough?)

Here's a portion of some pea pesto with roasted cherry tomatos and seared scallops.

Via my Pinterest.

FP's can give you drinks too - but be wary of the liquid. Blenders may make a better bet for drinks because their basins are tall and slender and more likely to contain your juices.

But.

I made a smoothie in my FP and it worked out fine.

Smoothie:
Blueberries
Frozen Strawberries
Orange juice

Dump, whirl, pour and sip.

And if you must abide by the rules of Tipsy Tuesday, I'm sure this smoothie would be great with some vodka, rum or even some champagne (frozen champagne drink... it could work, right?).

Flip-It Friday: May I Get You Something to Drink?

2011-09-02T07:48:00.000-07:00

Since switching from Ten Tips Tuesday to Tipsy Tuesday, I've wondered more about beverages. Whether you enjoy a cocktail or a mocktail, I'm sure every one of my readers has a go-to drink. Something you make for friends? Something that you look forward to after a long day? Something that perks you up in the morning? A traditional bev around the holidays?

Surprisingly, I grew up in a household that wasn't interested in alcohol for the majority of my upbringing. My dad doesn't drink and my mom has a glass of wine or beer occassionally. We had "kids wine" (read: sparkling grape juice) on Thanksgiving and New Years.

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I guess they kept the stuff out of the house for good reason, because all of their kids have grown up to enjoy a variety of cocktails (in moderation, of course!... unless we've had "bad Mexican" food, and then we cannot be held accountable for our digestive revolt!).

You've seen my staples in this blog: french press black coffee, red wine, and the mojito.

I love to serve a beverage when someone comes into my house - even if it's just a glass of water - for many reasons:

- It's a conversation piece (Oh, this cocktail with maple syrup is delicious... haha)
- It's an icebreaker (sometimes literally)
- It's a show of hospitality
- It gives you something to do while in the kitchen (because somehow, we always end up in the kitchen, right?)
- I like holding a glass in my hands as a "prop", especially when I'm in a new place
- I'm generally parched. Ask S. I leave glasses around the house like Gretel left breadcrumbs. It's a bit like the movie Signs.

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So I ask, what's your go-to for guests?
What do you have every day?
What do you keep stocked in your bar or fridge?

A Web-iquette Love Story Continues: Grammar Check

2011-09-01T07:13:00.000-07:00

Don't let the love story fool you. I'm in a bitchy mood today, so I'm gonna grammar check like a bia. The only love I'm feeling today is for my self-righteous grammar, overuse of ellipses and this french press coffee. Bam.

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Let's get down to brass ~~knuckles~~ tacks.

Possessive pronoun lists are hard. Boo. I know. Have a cry

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and then do it right, like so:

It was his and my wedding...

NOT:

It was S and I's wedding... (dumb)
It was him and I's wedding... (dumb)
It was S and me's wedding... (just plain ignorant... say it out loud... do you hear that? That's ignorance...)

And certainly not any other dumb combination you can think of that doesn't solely consist of "his" and "my" in that order. Certainly don't bring "your" into it. Certainly.

Yes, we are all human and make mistakes and typos. I make mistakes and typos. There, I said it. But the difference is that if you re-read your own blog article/heard your velociraptor voice on a tape recorder, you wouldn't spot the problem.

This is ironically how you sound and also how you make me feel. Enjoy.

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Web-iquette - You Shut Your Mouth When You're Talkin' To Me

2011-08-31T06:25:00.000-07:00

I read this disturbing article on NPR today about how over sharing on the web can be not only repulsive but also get you into some trouble. [Warning, the article has some disturbing content.]

Now, I haven't had the misfortune to deal with any racy facebook updates or revolting tweets (I rarely twitter (tweet?)... and I can't believe "twitter"/"tweet" is a verb...), but I have found a TON of people on FB that I'd like to defriend just because I find their post content and volume annoying.

For instance, one pseudo-friend/ex-boyfriend-of-a-friend made his status this weekend:

"Am I worthy of love?"

Mancard = revoked!

The second I get on a real computer's FB (and not my phone's version), I'm defriending.

Worthless brain dribble also makes me want to defriend you, a la:

"I got up at 3 am today and then couldn't sleep and now I'm at work. Only 5 more hours until I can go hooooome."

Harmless information, but also useless information. Just because you can say it, doesn't mean you should. And really, why so many vowels?

And my most favorite of things to defriend someone for - negative, defeatist, accusatory remarks to no one specific. Seriously, grow some balls and deal with your issues. Or see a psych. Or just don't put it on Facebook. It makes you look trivial and petty. Examples:

"I guess I should stop trying to be a good friend."

"I wish I wasn't the only person in my family that was trying so hard to be a good person."

And the cherry on the sundae after all of that noise is:

"I'm so sick of the drama."

Of course, the drama would stop if the FB poster would stop posting their dumb whiny posty posts and just sever ties with the terrorizing individual and grow up.

So remember you aren't invisible or invincible on social media. And as always, "You shut your mouth when you're talking to me."